Elder Holland at BYU

[Grunt]

50 minutes ago, Traveler said:

@Grunt I want to thank you for your exceptional kindness during our discussion.  However, I realized that there is a possible error in my previous post in the use of the term "judge".  I think there is a better term that we all need to understand better and I believe it is spot on concerning your focus in this discussion.  First off - I do not think we can survive much in our mortal probation without making judgments.  I am thinking that the term "condemn" is be best term to be used to describe the one thing we should not do in dealing with others.

This is the one aspect of dealing with other that is the most difficult for me.  For example; if anyone ever lights up a cigarette (or vaping pipe) not only do I wish them or me to be somewhere else but I also think that that likely are trying to exist with a single digit IQ.   I think that there are fewer ways to convince the world one is stupid.  I also have great difficulty hiding what I am thinking.  My wife says I have no filters and often pokes me (sometimes not so gently) to remind me not to be so judgmental or when I am to not be so obvious about it.

Honestly I have yet to learn how to be loving and kind towards those that are obviously making poor or irrational choices - especially if it has a negative impact on me.

 

The Traveler

No need to thank me, nor do I believe I'm portraying exceptional kindness, but I sincerely thank you.   I'm pretty much an open book.  I don't say things here that I don't say in person, at work, or in my ward.   I'm pretty much "what you see is what you get".  However, and I've mentioned this before, I believe I'm easier to "take" in person.   Emotions and intent is often lost in print.

That said, I think "condemn" is a perfect word.   We all judge, hopefully righteously.  However, we don't "pass judgement" or condemn.  I think we SHOULD judge, in usage we are now applying.   It's important to judge both for ourselves and our children.   Judgement is both protective and educational.  

I too have a difficult time being loving or kind to those making poor choices.  I've come to terms with serving them, but I believe that's mostly because I'm trying to compensate with the former.   I'm not sure if that makes my service hypocritical or worthy of condemnation.  For example, we have one family in our ward that I have a very difficult time with.  Consistently making poor choices that puts a burden on others in the ward through their demands and requirements.   I probably serve this family more than others and seek out opportunities to do so.   I often feel guilty about that service, even though it's performed cheerfully and to the best of my ability, because I hold ill feelings towards them.   

Sometimes I really have difficulty being a Latter-day Saint.