A curmudgeonly issue: Expensive stuff on Giving Trees


Backroads
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Yes, Vort explained it. These trees generally have the requested gift on them.

A couple of years ago, we weren't exactly struggling that much, but things were tight, a lot was going on. During the season, my school at the time would often see little cute gifts in the teacher mailboxes. Just little things to brighten the day. Well, one day I pulled one out and found it contained about $400 in cash and gift cards. I hadn't even said anything to anyone at work. 

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On 12/14/2021 at 5:34 AM, Fether said:

This makes me a little sick to read. Are you suggesting people who are destitute should be limited in to life’s essentials when we offer gifts? I don’t know every situation but my family struggled hard the last half of this year and the bishop came to us asking what we would want for Christmas. It wasn’t something we requested of him. We were lucky enough to pull ourselves out of our situation, but had that luck not come, I absolutely would have asked for toys for our children. Not toilet paper and gallons of milk

Aren’t Christmas gifts for children supposed to be non-essential luxuries? If I’m going to give a child a gift, it ain’t going to be underwear. If they need underwear, I’ll give them underwear on top of whatever gift I give them.

It is not a secret that I see and experience the world differently than many - of whom I do not connect with their logic.  I never have had much of an attachment for things.  As a child I preferred to explore things and it did not matter so much who was the owner.  Perhaps my lack of attachment for owning things is in part a result of my upbringing.  At the age of 8 I was expected to work and earn my keep.  I was also expected to care and maintain all my things. I believe there is a logical conundrum in wanting to have and own things. It seemed that having many things to care for inhibited my freedom rather than expanding it.   It also seems to me that those the are centered on having things have little respect for the things they do not own and are in the charge of others.  I have never been excited by money.  I am somewhat OCD about work in that I am very particular about my efforts working exactly as planned.  I am more motivated by what I am working to accomplish than by the money I am paid to do it.  I was also quite vocal at work for those that enrich themselves with other's successful endeavors - especially management that enrich themselves while fostering programs the impede those that work for the success of the business.

Marriage was worked well for me because my wife takes care of all the money.  Prior to marriage I often neglected to cash pay checks.  I very much dislike spending money and prefer to barter and trade.  I honestly do not believe money has any place in a Celestial society.   I also think owning or having things is not well suited to Celestial society.  I do not like giving a specific toy to a specific child or grandchild.  In general children have a hard time sharing - especially if they think it is uniquely theirs.  And like adults they think if they have control of things that they can control anyone interested in their things.  I would rather work with a kid to build or experience something than give them something.  If it was up to me there would not be any Christmas or birthday gifts - but rather acts of service and sacrifice.  I think most gifts (especially gifts of things) are cheep imitations of real gifts that only we can give.   As strange as it seems - my grandkids seem to like me despite my oddities. 

 

The Traveler

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13 minutes ago, Traveler said:

I never have had much of an attachment for things.

In contrast, I have a deep, abiding, almost irrational attachment to things. I am overly sentimental. I can't bear to see my father's books given away or thrown away, so I keep them, even if I don't read them much (or at all). I treasure my school books, especially those from grad school, and plan to work through them. So far, I have worked through exactly one of them in the past 25 years. I have begrudgingly given away many of my books, but I still hang on to too many. I am also attached to the silly Father's Day cards and letters my children made for me. I have mementos of my parents and my life growing up that I still value. I am not a hoarder, but my reluctance to throw out treasures of my past sometimes makes me look like one.

I have never been much concerned with money, perhaps to a fault. Nevertheless, when I consider my own attachment to objects that represent pieces of my life, I kind of understand how some people could get attached to money and the arm of flesh. I realize that no things around us are permanent, and in that sense they aren't even "real" as eternal entities. And I think I do a fair job of distinguishing the value of eternal things (relationships, human lives) from non-eternal things (everything else). But if I had a hundred million dollars, I would probably keep at least one enormous room filled with just stuff from my past, things that hold an emotional attachment for me. Maybe my condition is uncommon—I hope so, for everyone else's sake—but I am sure I'm not alone.

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5 hours ago, Vort said:

In contrast, I have a deep, abiding, almost irrational attachment to things. I am overly sentimental. I can't bear to see my father's books given away or thrown away, so I keep them, even if I don't read them much (or at all). I treasure my school books, especially those from grad school, and plan to work through them. So far, I have worked through exactly one of them in the past 25 years. I have begrudgingly given away many of my books, but I still hang on to too many. I am also attached to the silly Father's Day cards and letters my children made for me. I have mementos of my parents and my life growing up that I still value. I am not a hoarder, but my reluctance to throw out treasures of my past sometimes makes me look like one.

I have never been much concerned with money, perhaps to a fault. Nevertheless, when I consider my own attachment to objects that represent pieces of my life, I kind of understand how some people could get attached to money and the arm of flesh. I realize that no things around us are permanent, and in that sense they aren't even "real" as eternal entities. And I think I do a fair job of distinguishing the value of eternal things (relationships, human lives) from non-eternal things (everything else). But if I had a hundred million dollars, I would probably keep at least one enormous room filled with just stuff from my past, things that hold an emotional attachment for me. Maybe my condition is uncommon—I hope so, for everyone else's sake—but I am sure I'm not alone.

I am very much the same way.  And my issue extends to furniture—I have a mid century-modern bedroom set that belonged to my grandparents that I don’t particularly like, design-wise; but that I can’t bear to part with because it would be like a little part of them dying all over again.  

If you find a good therapist, Vort, send me their contact info.  🙂

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13 hours ago, Vort said:

 

I have never been much concerned with money, perhaps to a fault. Nevertheless, when I consider my own attachment to objects that represent pieces of my life, I kind of understand how some people could get attached to money and the arm of flesh. I realize that no things around us are permanent, and in that sense they aren't even "real" as eternal entities. And I think I do a fair job of distinguishing the value of eternal things (relationships, human lives) from non-eternal things (everything else

I find finances as boring as anything. I appreciate the security money offers and recognize the value of saving and investing, but I see a disconnect between myself and certain keeping up with the Joneses views. It's not that nice things aren't nice, but it amazes me how important these become to some people. At some point prosperity gospel slips in 

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18 hours ago, Vort said:

In contrast, I have a deep, abiding, almost irrational attachment to things. I am overly sentimental. I can't bear to see my father's books given away or thrown away, so I keep them, even if I don't read them much (or at all). I treasure my school books, especially those from grad school, and plan to work through them. So far, I have worked through exactly one of them in the past 25 years. I have begrudgingly given away many of my books, but I still hang on to too many. I am also attached to the silly Father's Day cards and letters my children made for me. I have mementos of my parents and my life growing up that I still value. I am not a hoarder, but my reluctance to throw out treasures of my past sometimes makes me look like one.

I have never been much concerned with money, perhaps to a fault. Nevertheless, when I consider my own attachment to objects that represent pieces of my life, I kind of understand how some people could get attached to money and the arm of flesh. I realize that no things around us are permanent, and in that sense they aren't even "real" as eternal entities. And I think I do a fair job of distinguishing the value of eternal things (relationships, human lives) from non-eternal things (everything else). But if I had a hundred million dollars, I would probably keep at least one enormous room filled with just stuff from my past, things that hold an emotional attachment for me. Maybe my condition is uncommon—I hope so, for everyone else's sake—but I am sure I'm not alone.

I have a history of head trauma. This, combined with stress, lack of sleep, and other issues, have severely affected my memory. 

A lot of my childhood possessions are dear to me because of this, as I can still remember things associated with them, and that helps me keep my past in order. 

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5 hours ago, mirkwood said:

Do guns count?

I do not have critical resentment to anyone's attachments - just that in most cases I do not see the logic of it -- especially if a person is not actively using it.  Following my mission and military obligation, I gave away my hunting rifles.  A few years later I gave away my hand guns.  I kept two guns I made when I was in high school for a little while but decided to get rid of them - if I ever am convinced that I need a fire arm - I know how to make one.  The main reason I got rid of them was because I believe if someone is going to own a firearm they should keep their skills active with them; at minimum with regular attendance at a range. 

I would expect someone like you to maintain your professional skills.  But I do not understand emotional attachments to one in particular.  I would think if, for whatever reason, your favorite was lost - you could easily replace it?

 

The Traveler

 

Edited by Traveler
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20 hours ago, Vort said:

In contrast, I have a deep, abiding, almost irrational attachment to things. I am overly sentimental. I can't bear to see my father's books given away or thrown away, so I keep them, even if I don't read them much (or at all). I treasure my school books, especially those from grad school, and plan to work through them. So far, I have worked through exactly one of them in the past 25 years. I have begrudgingly given away many of my books, but I still hang on to too many. I am also attached to the silly Father's Day cards and letters my children made for me. I have mementos of my parents and my life growing up that I still value. I am not a hoarder, but my reluctance to throw out treasures of my past sometimes makes me look like one.

I have never been much concerned with money, perhaps to a fault. Nevertheless, when I consider my own attachment to objects that represent pieces of my life, I kind of understand how some people could get attached to money and the arm of flesh. I realize that no things around us are permanent, and in that sense they aren't even "real" as eternal entities. And I think I do a fair job of distinguishing the value of eternal things (relationships, human lives) from non-eternal things (everything else). But if I had a hundred million dollars, I would probably keep at least one enormous room filled with just stuff from my past, things that hold an emotional attachment for me. Maybe my condition is uncommon—I hope so, for everyone else's sake—but I am sure I'm not alone.

I do maintain a library - I have several historical books and documents that are over 100 years old.  Several of my book have disappeared - I think I loaned and then were never returned.  One book in particular I will likely replace was a red letter King James Version of the Bible.  I like this particular version because the translated words in question were printed in italics.  Mostly I like to use that version to demonstrate how vulnerable modern versions are to textual discrepancies.    I would have a person open at random to any page and observe the many terms in italics.

Though I have several books that I like to reference - I am not really attached to them.  This includes a few books from my ancestors and other sources that are currently out of print.  If they were lost - I would not concern myself about it.  When I die - I do not know anyone that care for them anyway.  Likely they will end up in some antique and used book store.  

I do have my journals but they are likely to be lost in history just as the original "Book of Remembrance" kept by Adam and many others through out much of history.  My job is to keep a history while I am living - when I die it is up to others if such will endure.

In general - I do not see any logic to be attached to anything (or anybody) you cannot take with you (or maintain a relationship) when you die.

 

The Traveler

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16 hours ago, Traveler said:

I do maintain a library - I have several historical books and documents that are over 100 years old.  Several of my book have disappeared - I think I loaned and then were never returned.  One book in particular I will likely replace was a red letter King James Version of the Bible.  I like this particular version because the translated words in question were printed in italics.  Mostly I like to use that version to demonstrate how vulnerable modern versions are to textual discrepancies.    I would have a person open at random to any page and observe the many terms in italics.

Though I have several books that I like to reference - I am not really attached to them.  This includes a few books from my ancestors and other sources that are currently out of print.  If they were lost - I would not concern myself about it.  When I die - I do not know anyone that care for them anyway.  Likely they will end up in some antique and used book store.  

I do have my journals but they are likely to be lost in history just as the original "Book of Remembrance" kept by Adam and many others through out much of history.  My job is to keep a history while I am living - when I die it is up to others if such will endure.

In general - I do not see any logic to be attached to anything (or anybody) you cannot take with you (or maintain a relationship) when you die.

 

The Traveler

I love books and especially those that cover history and other facets of life.  I know though we will not be able to bring the physical books with us in the hereafter, I wonder if we will lose the books themselves though.  I think that perhaps that my collection may be there as well (if I am lucky), at least in spirit.  If not that, then in memory of my own (and perhaps I could then recreate them with the right materials?)...or perhaps that's a degree of worldliness I have yet to purge from my thoughts.

I do wonder though if all the items we have here that we can have in our memories are really gone (in the afterlife), or we may still touch upon them from time to time if we so desire.

Edited by JohnsonJones
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3 hours ago, JohnsonJones said:

I love books and especially those that cover history and other facets of life.  I know though we will not be able to bring the physical books with us in the hereafter, I wonder if we will lose the books themselves though.  I think that perhaps that my collection may be there as well (if I am lucky), at least in spirit.  If not that, then in memory of my own (and perhaps I could then recreate them with the right materials?)...or perhaps that's a degree of worldliness I have yet to purge from my thoughts.

I do wonder though if all the items we have here that we can have in our memories are really gone (in the afterlife), or we may still touch upon them from time to time if we so desire.

I am generally of the impression that in the next life (spirit world) that we will have access to all materials produced over all earthly time - and perhaps even others.  In addition I believe any errors will be obvious and that corrections will be available. 

 

The Traveler

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I thought to start a new thread about gifts but decided this thread is sufficient.   Some time ago, during this season, I was impressed with the gifts given to the Christ child at his birth.  In scripture these gifts were mostly given by "wise men" or "kings".  We really do not know how many wise men (kings) were involved but 3 is assumed because the gifts were listed as - gold, frankincense and myrrh.   I pondered, what would be the best gift(s) I could give to Christ in celebration of his birth.   I pondered a number of thoughts.  I wondered if I could give an anonymous gift (at least anonymous to the world).  I thought about a gift for which could be given with no benefit ever expected to be for myself (which I think is a "true" gift). 

It is not uncommon through out history for individuals and societies to give gifts (especially what are considered sacrifices) to whatever G-d one would expect a benefit.  It is interesting the gifts recorded to have been given to celebrate the birth of the pagan demigod Ba'al.   It seems to me that the concept of gift giving at Christmas most resembles the celebration of the birth of Ba'al - especially the gifts that satisfy worldly wants and desires.  Because of this historical plague of Israel, it has long bothered me about the often asked Christmas question, "What do you want for Christmas?"   I am not sure if this is a thread of truth in Ba'al worship are a lingering problem in Christian tradition.  

I have pondered that the gift most desired by Christ (as recorded in scripture) is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  However, with all my logic, I have been unable to wrap my mind around what is a "broken heart" and I have even a greater problem trying to understand what exactly is a "contrite spirit".  My problem is that I associate a broken heart and contrite with somewhat of a disappointment that seems to be based more in ego and narcissism (something I think is a problem for me).  In addition all my experiences with that which is holy, sacred and associated with G-d (including Christ) are great feeling of joy and happiness - this includes service and especially service towards those in greatest need.  Even the very concept that Jesus suffered and died for me and everybody else - there is sorrow that such is necessary but I can hardly with hold the joy in me that Jesus would suffer so for so many - even the undeserved.   I just do not know how to have any negative thought associated about someone like Christ.  I only have great thoughts of wonder, respect and thankfulness (among others). 

So I wonder how other navigate a desire to worship and give something in return for the sacrifices of Christ and the love of G-d - especially during this Christmas season.  I think this is the very essence of this thread.

 

The Traveler

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2 hours ago, Traveler said:

I thought to start a new thread about gifts but decided this thread is sufficient.   Some time ago, during this season, I was impressed with the gifts given to the Christ child at his birth.  In scripture these gifts were mostly given by "wise men" or "kings".  We really do not know how many wise men (kings) were involved but 3 is assumed because the gifts were listed as - gold, frankincense and myrrh.   I pondered, what would be the best gift(s) I could give to Christ in celebration of his birth.   I pondered a number of thoughts.  I wondered if I could give an anonymous gift (at least anonymous to the world).  I thought about a gift for which could be given with no benefit ever expected to be for myself (which I think is a "true" gift). 

It is not uncommon through out history for individuals and societies to give gifts (especially what are considered sacrifices) to whatever G-d one would expect a benefit.  It is interesting the gifts recorded to have been given to celebrate the birth of the pagan demigod Ba'al.   It seems to me that the concept of gift giving at Christmas most resembles the celebration of the birth of Ba'al - especially the gifts that satisfy worldly wants and desires.  Because of this historical plague of Israel, it has long bothered me about the often asked Christmas question, "What do you want for Christmas?"   I am not sure if this is a thread of truth in Ba'al worship are a lingering problem in Christian tradition.  

I have pondered that the gift most desired by Christ (as recorded in scripture) is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  However, with all my logic, I have been unable to wrap my mind around what is a "broken heart" and I have even a greater problem trying to understand what exactly is a "contrite spirit".  My problem is that I associate a broken heart and contrite with somewhat of a disappointment that seems to be based more in ego and narcissism (something I think is a problem for me).  In addition all my experiences with that which is holy, sacred and associated with G-d (including Christ) are great feeling of joy and happiness - this includes service and especially service towards those in greatest need.  Even the very concept that Jesus suffered and died for me and everybody else - there is sorrow that such is necessary but I can hardly with hold the joy in me that Jesus would suffer so for so many - even the undeserved.   I just do not know how to have any negative thought associated about someone like Christ.  I only have great thoughts of wonder, respect and thankfulness (among others). 

So I wonder how other navigate a desire to worship and give something in return for the sacrifices of Christ and the love of G-d - especially during this Christmas season.  I think this is the very essence of this thread.

 

The Traveler

As explained in the song "We Three Kings", the gifts were symbolic. 

"Born a king on Bethlehem's plain, gold I bring to crown him again." The gold was a symbol of his status as a monarch, as he was of the line of King David. As a monarch, Jesus should by all rights have lived a life of finery and riches, from a crown on his head to the throne he sat on. 

"Frankincense to offer have I. Incense owns a deity nigh." The frankincense was a symbol of his divine nature. As a divine figure, it would have been common practice for incense to be burned as an offering towards him, its scent filling the worship chambers. 

"Myrrh I bring, a bitter perfume." Myrrh was often used in the embalming process, a way to deal with the smell and other side effects of the process of decay. It was a recognition of the prophecies that he would die and be reborn. 

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5 hours ago, Traveler said:

I thought to start a new thread about gifts but decided this thread is sufficient.   Some time ago, during this season, I was impressed with the gifts given to the Christ child at his birth.  In scripture these gifts were mostly given by "wise men" or "kings".  We really do not know how many wise men (kings) were involved but 3 is assumed because the gifts were listed as - gold, frankincense and myrrh.   I pondered, what would be the best gift(s) I could give to Christ in celebration of his birth.   I pondered a number of thoughts.  I wondered if I could give an anonymous gift (at least anonymous to the world).  I thought about a gift for which could be given with no benefit ever expected to be for myself (which I think is a "true" gift). 

It is not uncommon through out history for individuals and societies to give gifts (especially what are considered sacrifices) to whatever G-d one would expect a benefit.  It is interesting the gifts recorded to have been given to celebrate the birth of the pagan demigod Ba'al.   It seems to me that the concept of gift giving at Christmas most resembles the celebration of the birth of Ba'al - especially the gifts that satisfy worldly wants and desires.  Because of this historical plague of Israel, it has long bothered me about the often asked Christmas question, "What do you want for Christmas?"   I am not sure if this is a thread of truth in Ba'al worship are a lingering problem in Christian tradition.  

I have pondered that the gift most desired by Christ (as recorded in scripture) is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  However, with all my logic, I have been unable to wrap my mind around what is a "broken heart" and I have even a greater problem trying to understand what exactly is a "contrite spirit".  My problem is that I associate a broken heart and contrite with somewhat of a disappointment that seems to be based more in ego and narcissism (something I think is a problem for me).  In addition all my experiences with that which is holy, sacred and associated with G-d (including Christ) are great feeling of joy and happiness - this includes service and especially service towards those in greatest need.  Even the very concept that Jesus suffered and died for me and everybody else - there is sorrow that such is necessary but I can hardly with hold the joy in me that Jesus would suffer so for so many - even the undeserved.   I just do not know how to have any negative thought associated about someone like Christ.  I only have great thoughts of wonder, respect and thankfulness (among others). 

So I wonder how other navigate a desire to worship and give something in return for the sacrifices of Christ and the love of G-d - especially during this Christmas season.  I think this is the very essence of this thread.

 

The Traveler

This was an interesting to read. I had been under the impression the tradition of gift giving during Christmas was only a couple of centuries old and originally began with really just trading goodies and other little things before slowly but surely expanding on the size and value of those gifts. 

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So I had another thought on the nature of needs/wants for gifts. It is rather tragic when what we see on the giving trees is basic needs. Those are year-round needs. While there's a big difference between the latest gaming laptop and a nice modest-yet-fun toy, I like it when Christmas gifts can be ever so frivilous and something of pleasure rather than necessities. 

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7 hours ago, Traveler said:

I am generally of the impression that in the next life (spirit world) that we will have access to all materials produced over all earthly time - and perhaps even others.  In addition I believe any errors will be obvious and that corrections will be available. 

 

The Traveler

Oh awesome.  The Glock Gen 4 trigger issue will be fixed too.

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1 hour ago, Backroads said:

So I had another thought on the nature of needs/wants for gifts. It is rather tragic when what we see on the giving trees is basic needs. Those are year-round needs. While there's a big difference between the latest gaming laptop and a nice modest-yet-fun toy, I like it when Christmas gifts can be ever so frivilous and something of pleasure rather than necessities. 

You're right.  I've always thought that Christmas should be fun gifting instead of needed gifting.  Unfortunately, there are those who are in life circumstances that dictate otherwise.  :(

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On 12/17/2021 at 12:45 PM, Ironhold said:

As explained in the song "We Three Kings", the gifts were symbolic. 

"Born a king on Bethlehem's plain, ......

Having visited the Holy Land - the most difficult part of that journey for me is the discovery of inaccuracies in the arts.  Being the son of an artiest and the father of and artiest I do understand symbolism in the vast spectrum of art.  However anyone that has visited Bethlehem knows that there are no plains in the rugged mountain area where Jesus was born.   I am of the notion that an artist that does not understand the empirical importance in accurate history is likely to miss important notions of spiritual symbolism as well.  I do understand that there can be symbolism in fantasy - but the religious community has great difficulty in deciphering fantastic symbolism from literal truths which is likely why the scriptures themselves warn of sacred things becoming fables.  (See 1Timothy 4:7, Titus 1:14, 1Timothy 1:4, 2Peter 1:16, 2Thimothy 4:4)

 

The Traveler

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On 12/17/2021 at 3:37 PM, Backroads said:

This was an interesting to read. I had been under the impression the tradition of gift giving during Christmas was only a couple of centuries old and originally began with really just trading goodies and other little things before slowly but surely expanding on the size and value of those gifts. 

I have pondered why the winter solutes is so prevalent in history to the giving of gifts.  I also wonder why the wise men (kings) of the east are the only indications of gifts for the Christ child.  Obviously they knew of things that were lost to the Jews and the scriptures of ancient Israel that has survived to our modern times.  The indication from scripture is that Jesus was most likely born in association to the spring equinox.  Sorry to keep bring such things up but it is amazing to me how facts and truths often are overlooked in the religious community - especially in establishing traditions.

 

The Traveler

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On 12/17/2021 at 5:12 PM, mirkwood said:

You're right.  I've always thought that Christmas should be fun gifting instead of needed gifting.  Unfortunately, there are those who are in life circumstances that dictate otherwise.  :(

 

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

Absolutely. And in my own experience I’ve noticed that people who say “It’s not about the gifts” usually complain the loudest when you don’t get them that 1200$ Gucci handbag. 

 

I would suggest that the reason - at least ought to be the reason - is the divine encouragement to love and be concerned for the poor and down trodden of this world.   In contrast I speculate that even the most wealthy at the time of Christ do not enjoy the luxuries of even the poorest of our societies in the USA.   In essence most seem to see someone more extravagant than them and think of them self as poor.  One lesson of the Book of Mormon is that it seems that the more wealthy a society the more the needs of the poor are overlooked and forgotten.

 

The Traveler

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53 minutes ago, Traveler said:

  One lesson of the Book of Mormon is that it seems that the more wealthy a society the more the needs of the poor are overlooked and forgotten.

 

Uh, no. 
 

I’m going to ask you a blunt, brutal question. Would you rather be poor in America or poor in North Korea, Ethiopia or Cuba? Right, America. Very good. Awkward truth #233 is that in America, many poor people struggle with…obesity. In India, many poor people die of hunger. Uncomfortable? Yup. Painfully true? Yup. 
 

There are people who live in devastating poverty in America, but even most of the poor here have lives that poor people in Africa would kill for. Key word is most. 
 

I know it’s hip, cool and sensitive to hate “rich”people, but another harsh truth is that if you are grinding in poverty and unable to feed and clothe your own children, you probably won’t be that concerned about feeding and clothing my children either. 
 

99% of the “I hate the sinful rich talk” is based in envy for what they have. Envy is also sinful, but we don’t talk about it much because it makes us feel “uncaring”. 
 

Finally, there’s a sense of irony here. LDS are generally more educated and slightly wealthier than average, yet they give way, way more to charity than almost any other group. So….if the BOM does teach what you are saying, the message is lost. 

Edited by LDSGator
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