A curmudgeonly issue: Expensive stuff on Giving Trees

[Traveler]

2 hours ago, LDSGator said:

Uh, no. 
 

I’m going to ask you a blunt, brutal question. Would you rather be poor in America or poor in North Korea, Ethiopia or Cuba? Right, America. Very good. Awkward truth #233 is that in America, many poor people struggle with…obesity. In India, many poor people die of hunger. Uncomfortable? Yup. Painfully true? Yup. 
 

There are people who live in devastating poverty in America, but even most of the poor here have lives that poor people in Africa would kill for. Key word is most. 
 

I know it’s hip, cool and sensitive to hate “rich”people, but another harsh truth is that if you are grinding in poverty and unable to feed and clothe your own children, you probably won’t be that concerned about feeding and clothing my children either. 
 

99% of the “I hate the sinful rich talk” is based in envy for what they have. Envy is also sinful, but we don’t talk about it much because it makes us feel “uncaring”. 
 

Finally, there’s a sense of irony here. LDS are generally more educated and slightly wealthier than average, yet they give way, way more to charity than almost any other group. So….if the BOM does teach what you are saying, the message is lost. 

As things go - I remember when I was serving in the bishopric in the Seattle area.  This was back in the days that there were funds to be contributed to other than tithing.  There was also building fund, missionary fund, temple fund and Book of Mormon fund.  Let us not forget fast offerings.   Our ward included Federal Way and a few other small towns life Fife.  Because our ward covered a large geographical area that was great disparity in incomes and economic prestige.  I happened to live in what was called Brown's Point, which was the most prestigious but if it is any consolation - I lived in one of the more moodiest homes of that area and I drove an older VW bug.  The Bishop and other councilor lived in the poorest or most humble area of the ward.

From time to time that stake would request additional funds for a special project.  I really disliked when this would occur because I knew what would happen.  Very little would come from my area and other areas of more wealth - the overwhelming majority of extra donated funds would come from the poorest families of our ward.  The poorer families would cancel family activities and other discretionary expenditures so they could contribute.   It was basically unthinkable for the more wealthy families to take their child out of optional "educational" activities for any extra funding.  The poorer families never indulged in such extra activities because they could not afford them anyway.  The more wealthy families replaced their cars almost every other year (and had more cars than drivers) - The poor families drove well aged junkers and seldom replaced their cars but mostly fixed them themselves.  As a side note - I once replaced the CV joints on my VW (with help of some ward members for the poorer section) and ticked off my neighbors because my house only had a carport and I could be seen working on my car - there was an effort to have me fined. 

When I moved to Utah - I ended up in what I call a BMW, Suburban and Mercedes neighborhood (I still had my VW bug and a VW bus).  Not long after we moved in there was a call for ward members to help drive young men and young women to an activity.  I volunteered my bus but when the time came none of the youth would ride in a bus the was older than them.  The sad thing about all this is that my stake here in Utah is negative in fast offerings - meaning that we must dip into church funds to support the needy in my neighborhood.  When I picked my son up from his mission in Mexico - I met a Stake President in Merida.  There are lots of very needy people in Mexico - even the Stake President would be considered to be living in poverty by most of our standards.  But the president was quite happy to let me know that his stake was positive with fast offering funds - meaning that they helped fund the needy in my stake.

I will admit that there are exceptions but the majority of my experience with the more well to do are much like the experience Jesus had with the "Rich Young Man".

 

The Traveler

[NeuroTypical]

Contrast to @Traveler's story:  I've been in a ward with an interesting mix of retired-very-successful-people, working professionals, and some lower-income housing.  I'm happy to say that I've seen, consistently for years, incredible generosity from all 3 camps.  (Yes, the 'incredible' part means something different with the overall giving ability of each demographic.)

Being the finance clerk keeps me humble.

 

[Backroads]

For about a year we were living with my grandmother, who happened to live in an extremely wealthy ward. Shortly before we arrived there the boundaries were changed to include a couple of apartment complexes. Generally inhabited by young college students, this being a college town, but to the point generally poor. 

There was  time of very strange and uncomfortable culture shock (most of the rich people were older and used to certain social customs) but it soon became a good thing as the generations and wealth groups learned from each other. 

[Ironhold]

This year, we had a stake activity in which the youth were gathering food and care supplies for local food banks. 

The first Sunday they had anything up at my chapel to collect, it was literally just myself and one other person who donated, and we both donated a lot. 

This seemed to light a fire under everyone else, at which point the next Sunday saw people flood the bins with product. 

[askandanswer]

On 12/12/2021 at 7:02 AM, Backroads said:

Tis that time of year of gift giving, which includes charitable opportunities.

But there seems to be a matter of requested items becoming increasingly expensive. And I hate to say kids and families shouldn't desire nice things, but how is anyone supposed to afford such things to give?

I think if a child, or anyone else, is asked what they want for Christmas, they should be truthful in their replies, and not calculated. Then it is up to any prospective giver to decide how they will respond to the sincerely expressed, truthful wishes of a hopeful child. And if a potential giver is worried about the cost of giving, perhaps they should heed the counsel of King Benjamin:

24 And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I ^agive not because I ^bhave not, but if I had I would ^cgive.

Edited December 25, 2021 by askandanswer

[Backroads]

I wound up seeing a very reasonable response to all this via the notes of one organization at crunch time for gifts. It has been alluded here, but it was nice to see approval from someone running a giving tree program: "If you find the gift to be too expensive/age inappropriate, use your judgement to pick a more appropriate gift".