Fether

Morality of buying twins

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We have two sets of friends who struggle to to get pregnant. Both went through a somewhat expensive process to getting pregnant that involved doctors deliberately fertilizing the wife’s eggs with the husband’s sperm. I don’t know the exact process or what it is called, but one thing they told us was that it increases you likelihood of twins and triplets. One of our friends are actually having twins from this.

My wife and I are extremely fertile. Like, I kiss her and she gets pregnant. But This got my wife and I thinking. There is a certain number of kids we think we want before we are done, so we jokingly played with the idea of going and paying a doctor to do the same treatment, but with the goal of having twins or triplets. That way we can get closer to that number of kids we want that way we can have all the kids out of the house 4-6ish years earlier than they otherwise would be.

The likelihood of us doing this is pretty much 0. But I wanted to ask everyone what they think the morality of paying a doctor to force us to have triplets would be.

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The process is called in-vitro fertilization.  My wife and I looked into it as we were discovering our inability to have our own children.  The moral and eternally significant questions that can arise involve the decision to use someone else's eggs and/or sperm (not an issue you are facing), and whether or not to freeze and/or dispose of leftover harvested eggs that are already fertilized (to many, disposing of a fertilized egg is equivalent to an abortion, so it would be preferable to donate it and face off with the first question).  Why would people have extras?  If more eggs are harvested and fertilized than is reasonable to implant into the uterus, then you end up with extras and must decide if you will have them implanted later (freezing), donate them, or dispose of them.

In your situation, assuming you work with your doctors not to end up with unused fertilized eggs, I don't believe there would be any substantial moral, or ethical dilemma to impede you.  The one spiritual consideration would be that you have the natural ability to become pregnant and this medical procedure exists as a fertility treatment primarily for those who lack that natural ability to some extent.  Some might consider using this technology unnecessarily to be intentionally seeking to circumventing the functioning natural procreative process with which the Lord has blessed you.

My wife and I weren't able to use in-vitro fertilization because even that would have only had a 5% chance to work for us.  Additionally, the cost would have been in the tens of thousands for a single procedure.  However, we will end up achieving a similar goal to the one you are seeking, because we were blessed differently and 4 of our 7 adopted children were over the age of 5 when they came to live with us (3 of their ages are within 4 months of each other).  We wish we could have had those younger memories, but given that wasn't the Lord's plan, the fact that I will only be 47 when my youngest is 18 will also be nice.

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Interesting idea.  In my opinion, your dilemma is compounded the fact that you're using this treatment to subvert a natural timeline.  I honestly have no idea what the moral implication of that would be, or if there even is one.   That would be an interesting talk with the Bishop, in my opinion.

I have been down this road and would be more than happy to discuss it privately if you need to.

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1 hour ago, Grunt said:

Interesting idea.  In my opinion, your dilemma is compounded the fact that you're using this treatment to subvert a natural timeline.  I honestly have no idea what the moral implication of that would be, or if there even is one.   That would be an interesting talk with the Bishop, in my opinion.

I have been down this road and would be more than happy to discuss it privately if you need to.

It is nothing we are seriously considering. Just something I thought of during conversation. We joked about it because it would be cool to have twins / triplets and it would fast Track is the number of kids we want

 

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57 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Im an identical twin.  In vitro fertilization only results in fraternal twins. We have 11 children all singles, most are about 18 months apart.

Have you considered Irish twins?

The type of twin doesn’t really concern us. We have considered Irish twins and will likely go for that

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13 hours ago, Fether said:

But I wanted to ask everyone what they think the morality of paying a doctor to force us to have triplets would be.

 

The church handbook has a few things to say about it:

Quote

38.6.9

Fertility Treatments

The pattern of a husband and wife providing bodies for God’s spirit children is divinely appointed (see 2.1.3). When needed, reproductive technology can assist a married woman and man in their righteous desire to have children. This technology includes artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization.

The Church discourages artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization using sperm from anyone but the husband or an egg from anyone but the wife. However, this is a personal matter that is ultimately left to the judgment and prayerful consideration of a lawfully married man and woman.

Quote

38.4.2.6

Children Conceived by Artificial Insemination or In Vitro Fertilization

Children conceived by artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization are born in the covenant if their parents are already sealed. If the children are born before their parents are sealed, they may be sealed to their parents after their parents are sealed to each other.

 

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Going through the procedure is a long way from guaranteeing the result. We have someone in our stake who has been through invitro fertilisation three times and each time the results were not live births. First time was triplets, second times was triplets, and third time was twins. A lot of heartache, a lot of expense, and no result.  

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Coworker story:  Guy and his wife had a daughter.  Then a 2nd.  then a 3rd.  They said "ok, one more shot at a boy and we're done."    

Bam - four boys.  I don't remember if fertility treatments were involved, although I assume so.  

This post brought to you by the 2022 Ford passenger van.  With seating up to 15, it's a sensible choice for folks who may be in the need of more sensible choices in their lives.  :)

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I don't believe there is any moral issue at play here. I, honestly, don't see it any different than determining the amount of kids you want to have; however, twins or triplets are not easy on the females body. It's one thing when it happens naturally, and another when the likelihood increases through doctors assistance.

I understand though, at least from what my friends have said from their doctors who have gone through this procedure, is that most doctors won't even consider it if you can conceive naturally just fine.

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My understanding is that the reason they implant multiple embryos with in vitro is that it’s pretty much taken for granted that at least some of them will fail to implant (or, depending on when you believe life begins, they will “die”).  

For me and my wife the question would be:  would we be willing to risk a miscarriage or two, just for the novelty/convenience of having multiple (surviving) children from the same pregnancy?  I don’t know whether it’s theologically wrong; but emotionally—having been through four miscarriages already, I don’t think it’s something we’d be up to.  

Edited by Just_A_Guy

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So according to lore, I should have had twins. They say twins skip generations. Well, I'm a twin, my mother is a twin, and my fraternal grandmother is a twin (Two cousins on that side have already had twins). 

I can't think of anything wrong with it. Keep in mind I'm the sort of praise the miracles of medical technology. 

But I give warning on messing with the timeline: My dad's buddy had a bunch of kids, decided with his wife they only wanted one more. Well, apparently according to the heavenly accounts they were due for three more, and if this couple was only going to try one more time... they had triplets. 

So, if you're trying for twins or triplets, will this be expounded upon?

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1 hour ago, Backroads said:

So, if you're trying for twins or triplets, will this be expounded upon?

Haha perhaps. Right now we have the number 5 in mind. But I love kids so much and I think having a big family would be absolutely wonderful

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