Having a rough time at church

[LDSGator]

18 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

*Putting church stuff aside*

FWIW: when it comes to making goals (like in general, I'm not talking church), I actually do see the purpose of micro-goals.  If you're struggling or just overwhelmed, having your focus being on "just this one foot in front of the other" is very helpful.  Yes, you want to have the big goal in mind so you're walking the right direction, but once that's established "one step at a time" can be very helpful.  In fact at work right now, where I have a ton of tasks to do, I literally made myself I giant Word doc of all of these requests.  When a new one gets added, I scroll down to the bottom, copy-paste it there, and then forget about it until I reach that point.  

 

Also, ironically I would be much much happier  at work if I had a professional growth plan with my boss.  Where I could develop and reap rewards from that.  Not just "go Jane, gold star", but promotion, raise, etc.  Where it's not a dead end.  

Re: the job thing. 
 

In my early twenties I worked for a job that was like the one you are describing. The glamorous field of claims customer service for Oxford Health Insurance. It was miserable. No room for growth, just a blah feeling each day I entered the office. Eventually they told me to choose between this job or school, which had a conflicting schedule. I walked out the next day. School came first, and thank God I did so because that job would have sucked out my soul in a few years. Do you think it’s time to look around for another job? 

[Jane_Doe]

44 minutes ago, LDSGator said:

Re: the job thing. 
 

In my early twenties I worked for a job that was like the one you are describing. The glamorous field of claims customer service for Oxford Health Insurance. It was miserable. No room for growth, just a blah feeling each day I entered the office. Eventually they told me to choose between this job or school, which had a conflicting schedule. I walked out the next day. School came first, and thank God I did so because that job would have sucked out my soul in a few years. Do you think it’s time to look around for another job? 

I am hunting, it's just being very slow do to my internal batteries being so drained.

Ironically, Oxford Health Insurance is on my list of possible things to apply to right now.  I do data, not customer service.  

[LDSGator]

11 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

I am hunting, it's just being very slow do to my internal batteries being so drained.

Ironically, Oxford Health Insurance is on my list of possible things to apply to right now.  I do data, not customer service.  

It’s been over a decade, so things might have changed there. 
 

Good luck my friend- we’ve been praying for you these past few days. This is just a temporary rough spot Jane—things will get better!!!! 
 

 

Edited February 22, 2022 by LDSGator

[Still_Small_Voice]

Jane Doe, you seem to be in dire need of a vacation.  Any chance you can take some time off to have some enjoyment and fun?

I felt like you did back in 2017.  For about 18 to 24 months I had been job hunting and found nothing even though I had multiple job interviews.  It was so frustrating to me and I was beginning to lose hope.  Then I got a job solicitation and was told if I could get a Computer Technology Industry Association Security + certification that I would have a new employment.  Through prayer and effort I got my certificate but my background check also took months to complete.

I finally quit my old job when my jack hole supervisor decided to write me up for a mistake I made at work.  For five years at that job I had never been written up.  He got what he wanted: a power trip to write me up.  Then I got what I wanted:  cleaned out my desk the next day and I quit without a two week notice (which is unusual for me).  

Two weeks later I started a good job at an employer that I am still at presently.  May the LORD bless you in your search for new employment.  

[Traveler]

On 2/20/2022 at 11:05 AM, Jane_Doe said:

Hi ThirdHour family.  I need some hugs.

Sorry I've been so quiet lately-- life has been very busy lately.  And more than busy, draining.  There is a lot of good things-- life is factually really good.  My miracle baby boy is amazing, and big girl is learning so many things and growing into an expanding world with incredible flair.  Husband is always the most loving rock. 

On the other hand, work is miserable.  Ultimately this is a dead-end job that is downright taking advantage of me, demanding more and more miracles performed with impossible deadlines.  It makes me utterly miserable-- feeling constantly behind & not good enough, despite me constantly delivering miracles.  I now how much of my self worth & sense of accomplishment I (erroneously) put into my work.  I leave every day exhausted to the bone & wanting to cry.  Encanto's Louisa and I have much in common.

I try to focus on the good things-- that my most important legacy is my family, not work.  Try to leave work pains at work.  Try occasionally to muster the emotional energy & time to do more job applications.  Remember where my true value lies.   Try to remember that I'm a great mom.   Remember the importance of the dat of rest.  Remember Christ & "peace be still".  Trying to stop obsessively thinking I need to constantly be/do/more.    Though... I am so tired and often fail.  Example, I was up for three hours in the middle the night just sobbing & feeling like trash.  

Church lately is NOT helping.  Rather it's actively hurting -- so many lessons on "we need be more productive & make more goals!  Everyone get into groups & declare what new goal you will do this week, and then the group leader will text you tracking your progress.  Remember if you didn't get things done, it's because you need to re-prioritize your life!  Remember this quote from 'Atomic Habits'...."   Over and over again.   And it totally doesn't help that my boss & others are in ward/stake leadership positions.  

I....this is the opposite of what I need spiritually.  I need shelter from the storm & rest, not lectures on doing more.  I....honestly I'm writing this in tears, having had to shut off Stake Conference after more of the same.  I'm just.... so tired.  

Thank you for listening to my story.

Sorry - I do not do hugs.  Not any good hugs.  I have to work at the touchy stuff which comes across as awkward because it is.   But you and I have exchanged some ideas on the forum - from those experiences, I would be most pleased to have had you in my work place or in my ward.  I would be most happy to be called to be your minister.  It may not work out so well for you because I do not do well with the compassion thing because I lack the proper filters in what I say.  The biggest problem for me is my sense of humor - I tend to see too much humor, especially in sad things.

Last Sunday in Gospel doctrine come follow me we were talking about getting though trials - especially the tough trials.  I suggested that perhaps we should find some fun in our trials.  My wife, that I dearly love, snaped back with, "It is not a trial if you are enjoying it!".  I thought to say more but realized that to her what I said was a trial and she was not enjoying it but I did notice that most of the ward was enjoying it.

I would make one point - the last area of my mission did not go well.  The branches were struggling and many of the members did not get along with each other.  Our baptisms were few - much below all the other areas in which I served.  I went home from that area believing I had failed and fallen short of what was needed.  Last year I received a call from my last companion - we had a discussion about our area and how it had spiritually helped him as one of the greatest experiences of his life.  I decided to take a trip back to that area.  The church had not grown much (thought the branches were now wards) but I was surprised to learn that one of my few baptisms had served for several years in the stake presidency and was most instrumental in a spiritual renewal.   There was also an old time member that remembered me from 50 years ago.  So I learned that it was not up to me to fix everything.  The spirit whispered to me that G-d was pleased with my small part.  I kind of responded that could not anyone have let me know this sooner?  And then the spirit whispered to me again - that it took me a while to appreciate it. 

What I have posted may not help much - yet.  But I thought to let you know that to me - your comments have always been a joy and brought good memories back to me. 

 

The Traveler

[laronius]

On 2/20/2022 at 11:05 AM, Jane_Doe said:

  

Church lately is NOT helping.  Rather it's actively hurting -- so many lessons on "we need be more productive & make more goals!  Everyone get into groups & declare what new goal you will do this week, and then the group leader will text you tracking your progress.  Remember if you didn't get things done, it's because you need to re-prioritize your life!  Remember this quote from 'Atomic Habits'...."   Over and over again.   And it totally doesn't help that my boss & others are in ward/stake leadership positions.  

I....this is the opposite of what I need spiritually.  I need shelter from the storm & rest, not lectures on doing more.  I....honestly I'm writing this in tears, having had to shut off Stake Conference after more of the same.  I'm just.... so tired.  

Thank you for listening to my story.

I figured I'd add my two cents though it might not be worth half that so I'll give it for free.

First of all, as one who has served with what you could call a very unconventional bishop, I would caution us all to not judge too hastily when things are done not exactly as we think they ought to. He holds the keys and has been called under inspiration to serve and we never know everything he does that may prompt him to direct the ward as he does.

Secondly, being more productive does not necessarily mean busier. Productivity is outcome based not busyness based. Likewise, in the gospel, I'm pretty sure the Lord does not define the "abundant" in living an abundant life in terms of how much we can cram in a day. I actually think that lesson on being productive and setting goals is exactly what you need. You are obviously hard working and driven. But if what you are doing isn't making you happy then I would say you are not being completely productive, assuming happiness is your goal, and a reprioritizing of your pursuits to obtain that happiness needs to take place.

I remember once struggling to make an important decision but when I finally made a decision I could not find peace. It only took two weeks (I was being stubborn) before it dawned on me that just maybe I had made the wrong decision. When I told the Lord I was instead choosing the other alternative peace immediately came. I learned that when the Lord wants us to make changes do not expect him to sustain us in pursuing the wrong course. 

[Ironhold]

12 hours ago, laronius said:

I figured I'd add my two cents though it might not be worth half that so I'll give it for free.

First of all, as one who has served with what you could call a very unconventional bishop, I would caution us all to not judge too hastily when things are done not exactly as we think they ought to. He holds the keys and has been called under inspiration to serve and we never know everything he does that may prompt him to direct the ward as he does.

Secondly, being more productive does not necessarily mean busier. Productivity is outcome based not busyness based. Likewise, in the gospel, I'm pretty sure the Lord does not define the "abundant" in living an abundant life in terms of how much we can cram in a day. I actually think that lesson on being productive and setting goals is exactly what you need. You are obviously hard working and driven. But if what you are doing isn't making you happy then I would say you are not being completely productive, assuming happiness is your goal, and a reprioritizing of your pursuits to obtain that happiness needs to take place.

I remember once struggling to make an important decision but when I finally made a decision I could not find peace. It only took two weeks (I was being stubborn) before it dawned on me that just maybe I had made the wrong decision. When I told the Lord I was instead choosing the other alternative peace immediately came. I learned that when the Lord wants us to make changes do not expect him to sustain us in pursuing the wrong course. 

As a consequence of some mental health issues I'm dealing with, when I'm at my regular chapel* I've taken to having one ear bud in my ear so I can continue listening to a syndicated radio show I enjoy listening to (specifically, rebroadcasts of episodes of "American Top 40 with Casey Kasem" from the 1980s). Not only does this help keep me awake (I don't get a lot of sleep, part of my problems), it also gives me some positive energy (sometimes more so than church itself, to be honest) and helps keep me calm. If someone smarts off or is otherwise quite unwise with their words, I can just tune them out and listen to something far more pleasant. 

Many bishops would fly off the handle if they saw me doing that. 

My branch president has come to understand that even with one ear to my preferred form of music I'm still more attentive to what's around me than a lot of others. This came to a head when the younger men of the branch all proceeded to disappear right after sacrament was over one day, leaving me to actually break down the sacrament and clean the trays. Since then, he doesn't care what I'm listening to so long as I keep the volume down. 

 

*The stake center has electronic devices in place to interfere with streaming media and social media, meaning you can only do phone calls and whatever's already downloaded to your device.

[Jane_Doe]

I walked into Relief Society today and there is some dude here literally making an announcement of what everyone’s goal should be to have the missionaries in your house once a quarter as part of the ward mission plan. 

I really want to leave now. 

 

Ps: my husband hates missionaries and they are not welcomed at my house. This has nothing to do with the missionaries themselves (they usually nice people), but rather transfers. Hubby is very introverted  and coming out of his shell only to have a missionary leave 6 wks later really burns him. 

[NeuroTypical]

My uncle Steve gave me some very sage advice when I was in my early '20's.  Internalizing it, has probably reduced my stress as much as my next three techniques put together.  I hereby pass it on to you.

5 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

I walked into Relief Society today and there is some dude here literally making an announcement of what everyone’s goal should be to have the missionaries in your house once a quarter as part of the ward mission plan. 

"Wanting is free."
 - NT's Uncle Steve

No really, what the crap do you care about what some dude at church wants?  If you can't come up with a good answer, then respond accordingly.

[laronius]

4 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

I walked into Relief Society today and there is some dude here literally making an announcement of what everyone’s goal should be to have the missionaries in your house once a quarter as part of the ward mission plan. 

I really want to leave now. 

 

Ps: my husband hates missionaries and they are not welcomed at my house. This has nothing to do with the missionaries themselves (they usually nice people), but rather transfers. Hubby is very introverted  and coming out of his shell only to have a missionary leave 6 wks later really burns him. 

Why would that make you want to leave? So they propose something that doesn't fit your situation, why should that bother you at all? It sounds like your approach to church worship needs a little tweaking. I personally recommend shifting your focus to individuals who need a smile or encouraging word. Not only will you find your time at church much more meaningful but we are promised that as we bless others we find our own burdens made lighter. Makes all the difference for me.

[Jane_Doe]

6 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

My uncle Steve gave me some very sage advice when I was in my early '20's.  Internalizing it, has probably reduced my stress as much as my next three techniques put together.  I hereby pass it on to you.

"Wanting is free."
 - NT's Uncle Steve

No really, what the crap do you care about what some dude at church wants?  If you can't come up with a good answer, then respond accordingly.

I think he was a bishopric member or someone from the stake presidency ?  

As to why I care: I could just not care what local leaders think. That is a valid option. But also feels cutting off connection to others when we are supposed to be supporting each other. 

[Jane_Doe]

1 hour ago, laronius said:

Why would that make you want to leave? So they propose something that doesn't fit your situation, why should that bother you at all? It sounds like your approach to church worship needs a little tweaking. I personally recommend shifting your focus to individuals who need a smile or encouraging word. Not only will you find your time at church much more meaningful but we are promised that as we bless others we find our own burdens made lighter. Makes all the difference for me.

I know you mean well here, but you’re really off base here. 

As to why I was/am upset: I was being volunTOLD by somebody else what my goal “is” (according to ward leadership anyways). One that I was not consulted about (let alone agreed to) and in fact is counterproductive to growth in the gospel at my home.   It way overstepping their domain. 

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:

It way overstepping their domain. 

Yes, you are absolutely right here. It is just as you said-overstepping their domain. I’m so sorry it happened to you @Jane_Doe. 

[Suzie]

@Jane_Doe First of all, hold on tight because I'm sending a bear hug!

Now, a bit on the topic...we need to take good care of ourselves and it is perfectly okay to say NO. We are first and foremost individuals and we cannot and should not live up to everyone's expectations. First, because it it impossible and second because it is unhealthy. Listen...they can ask you to set 1000000 goals, feed the missionaries every day, go to every single meeting and the list goes on. There is nothing wrong with these requests (*cough* minus the endless meetings) but YOU know your circumstances and YOU (and only YOU) get to decide what you want/need based on your particular situation. You don't have to feel guilty about it or think you're not doing enough. 

Many moons ago, the Bishop called me to "talk" but I suspected he wanted to extend a calling. I was in a very rough spot due to a medical issue with one of my kids. I explained this to the Bishop, who was already aware of it. He nodded his head the entire time. When I finished talking, the only thing he said  to me was: "Wow, sorry to hear this. Anyway, we want to call you as..." FWIW, I'm not saying this to bash the Bishop. I'm saying this to show that companies/institutions/organizations (including the Church) tend to focus a lot on organizational structuring but if you cannot do it, guess what? Then someone else will.

Also (many years ago) I was supposed to meet with a client who scheduled an emergency appointment but I wasn't able to attend because I had to rush one of my children to the ER. Due to the nature of the client's situation, he had no choice but to meet with a former colleague. She wasn't happy at all and she told me about it, not even once she asked about my kid.

These lessons and others taught me that I cannot control what others "say" or their expectations about me BUT I can control what I CHOOSE to do and apply it to my life IF it makes me feel happy, content and fulfilled. And if it doesn't....Well, I CHOOSE not to do it and if someone doesn't like it, TOO BAD.

I hate with a passion ANY workshop/training related to "goals". Such a waste of time!

 

 

[Jane_Doe]

Thank you @Suzie  

[laronius]

3 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

I know you mean well here, but you’re really off base here. 

As to why I was/am upset: I was being volunTOLD by somebody else what my goal “is” (according to ward leadership anyways). One that I was not consulted about (let alone agreed to) and in fact is counterproductive to growth in the gospel at my home.   It way overstepping their domain. 

First of all, thank you for recognizing that I do mean well even if my words don't always go over well. 😀

Specifically, concerning this situation it's quite normal for there to be ward goals when it comes to missionary work, goals that are in fact set for us. But there is always the understanding that individual adaptation may be required, as with many gospel programs. But frankly, being told what to do happens a lot in the Church: ministering, callings, etc. It's not an infringement on our agency, we can still say no. 

But more generally, and this is mainly what I was getting at, is that regardless of how you think things ought to be, even if you are totally right, your overall experience at church is really up to you and the approach and attitude you have going in. Even if it's "That guy should not be telling us what our goal should but I'm going to focus on finding someone sitting alone and be friendly to them." Don't allow others to get you riled up. Keep a positive, let's do some good attitude and don't allow others to put you in a bad mood. Easier said than done sometimes? Yes, but worth the effort.

[estradling75]

The older I get the more I realize that having a issue with a church leader, can be a total trial of faith for many members.

I think this is in many ways because of the duality of our leaders.  We have as an Article of Faith that our leaders are called of God.  We also know from Scriptures that they are imperfect sinners who make mistakes.  And that is a hard duality to balance.  We want to go to one extreme or the other but the extremes are wrong... On one hand we want to say will they are called of God so everything must be right and perfect...  Then we see very clearly that they are not, and we want to flip to the other well they are imperfect sinners so why listen to them at all.

God has called and will call very imperfect people to his work.  God knows the mistakes, errors and the harm/hurt that will happen and he calls them anyways.  And that can be a hard thing to accept.  In many ways we can have a 'prosperity gospel' mindset when it comes to our leaders.  We expect that following our leaders leads to immediate prosperity in an earthly sense.  And that has never been the promise.  Reading the scriptures and our own history shows that some times that happens, but just as often it does not.  Yet many believe it anyways and so when a Leadership induced hardship appears we call into question their 'Calling.'

Lets take a well know scripture story and liken it to this context.  God tells the Prophet Lehi... "Get the Brass Plates"  The prophet tells the Local Leaders the command of the Lord. The Local Leader (Nephi) leads his congregations (His brothers) to perform the work.  But as is often the case local leadership and members have to figure out how to complete the commandment given.  Their first attempt they draw lots and Laban goes and nearly gets killed.  So everyone knows how dangerous it is... So the local leader (Nephi) knowing how dangerous it is comes up with a plan.  Get the wealth they left behind and trade it for the plates.  They do Nephi's plan and he nearly gets everyone killed.  We know how this story ends, and with that knowledge we can better understand what is happening.  But I want to stop the story here, because we do not know how our story is going to end yet.

How would we respond when a Church Leader nearly gets us killed, or threatens our ability to provide for our family by their requests?   Or otherwise cause us pain and suffering?  Sadly when I ask myself this question I find myself with answers that more closely resemble the response of Laban and Lemuel and that is not a good place to be, not for me, and not for anyone else.

Yet we do need to respond and that response needs to balance having both faith and our responsiblities to  be good steward of what we are called to be steward over (Including our own health and happiness)

 

[Grunt]

12 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

God has called and will call very imperfect people to his work.  God knows the mistakes, errors and the harm/hurt that will happen and he calls them anyways.  And that can be a hard thing to accept.  In many ways we can have a 'prosperity gospel' mindset when it comes to our leaders.  We expect that following our leaders leads to immediate prosperity in an earthly sense.  And that has never been the promise.  Reading the scriptures and our own history shows that some times that happens, but just as often it does not.  Yet many believe it anyways and so when a Leadership induced hardship appears we call into question their 'Calling.'

This falls in the center of where this discussion has gone for me.   In my new calling in recent weeks, I've really seen this play out several times.   

When I hear talk of something being done "outside their domain", it gives me pause.   This is more true when the advice is given by people who don't even know the individuals involved or what their domain is.   

Speaking broadly, I believe leaders truly care about those under their stewardship.   I think they really try to listen to the spirit and act on it.  Differentiating between prompts of the Holy Spirt aren't always easy to distinguish from our own will, at least for me.   Even the prompting is heavenly sent and received correctly, we are also people.   I've watched people with the purest of hearts and good will towards those they preside over deliver guidance, instruction, and blessings in the most awkward way.   I've seen that love completely misunderstood, and hearts hardened because of it.   I can't imagine what those of you who have been in the church longer have seen.

I encourage people to receive messages with the intent that they were sent, not the botched delivery.   

[Ironhold]

2 hours ago, estradling75 said:

The older I get the more I realize that having a issue with a church leader, can be a total trial of faith for many members.

I think this is in many ways because of the duality of our leaders.  We have as an Article of Faith that our leaders are called of God.  We also know from Scriptures that they are imperfect sinners who make mistakes.  And that is a hard duality to balance.  We want to go to one extreme or the other but the extremes are wrong... On one hand we want to say will they are called of God so everything must be right and perfect...  Then we see very clearly that they are not, and we want to flip to the other well they are imperfect sinners so why listen to them at all.

God has called and will call very imperfect people to his work.  God knows the mistakes, errors and the harm/hurt that will happen and he calls them anyways.  And that can be a hard thing to accept.  In many ways we can have a 'prosperity gospel' mindset when it comes to our leaders.  We expect that following our leaders leads to immediate prosperity in an earthly sense.  And that has never been the promise.  Reading the scriptures and our own history shows that some times that happens, but just as often it does not.  Yet many believe it anyways and so when a Leadership induced hardship appears we call into question their 'Calling.'

Lets take a well know scripture story and liken it to this context.  God tells the Prophet Lehi... "Get the Brass Plates"  The prophet tells the Local Leaders the command of the Lord. The Local Leader (Nephi) leads his congregations (His brothers) to perform the work.  But as is often the case local leadership and members have to figure out how to complete the commandment given.  Their first attempt they draw lots and Laban goes and nearly gets killed.  So everyone knows how dangerous it is... So the local leader (Nephi) knowing how dangerous it is comes up with a plan.  Get the wealth they left behind and trade it for the plates.  They do Nephi's plan and he nearly gets everyone killed.  We know how this story ends, and with that knowledge we can better understand what is happening.  But I want to stop the story here, because we do not know how our story is going to end yet.

How would we respond when a Church Leader nearly gets us killed, or threatens our ability to provide for our family by their requests?   Or otherwise cause us pain and suffering?  Sadly when I ask myself this question I find myself with answers that more closely resemble the response of Laban and Lemuel and that is not a good place to be, not for me, and not for anyone else.

Yet we do need to respond and that response needs to balance having both faith and our responsiblities to  be good steward of what we are called to be steward over (Including our own health and happiness)

 

I've seen it happen more than once where people were called into positions because of what they were supposed to be learning from being in those positions. 

Some rise to the occasion, such as when a sister in one congregation I was in had to get over her fear of public speaking in order to be a Sunday school teacher. 

Others don't, like the especially arrogant elder's quorum leader we had in another congregation who caused several brothers with personal issues to quit coming until after he'd gotten a work transfer elsewhere. 

[Jane_Doe]

My daughter’s activity days tomorrow: having a lesson on goal making and passing out goal books. 

[scottyg]

10 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

My daughter’s activity days tomorrow: having a lesson on goal making and passing out goal books. 

This is normal everywhere. Setting personal goals is the main part of the new youth program of the church that has been in place for over 2 years now. Primary age kids and the youth each have different booklets to help them set goals and find ways to grow. Rather than have leaders tell kids what they will be doing each week/month (like what we used to do with scouting) it is now up to the kids to determine their own ways in which they would like to personally grow, and to choose weekly activities if they want that will align with their personal goals. Leaders may still direct more of the activity days age kids, but once you are in the YM/YW program, it should be fully youth directed/led.

Your leaders could be pushing this method on the adults because there may be many others who need to hear this direction. If you don't then that's fine. I don't accept every goal that is "given" to me by others...it's no big deal. I don't really know why you are allowing yourself to get so worked up over this. Just go to church to partake of the sacrament and recommit yourself to the Lord. Everything else that takes place in the church is meant to support you in keeping your covenants. If something doesn't help you, then don't participate in it.

[Carborendum]

On 2/20/2022 at 12:05 PM, Jane_Doe said:

Hi ThirdHour family.  I need some hugs.

...

Thank you for listening to my story.

Here are some hugs:

I've kind of been burned out on a lot of things lately as well.  I've been working REALLY long hours. I'm finally getting down to about 50 to 55 hours / wk which is very manageable for me.  

I hope you can find some rest.

11 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

My daughter’s activity days tomorrow: having a lesson on goal making and passing out goal books. 

Yes, I'm afraid I'm with @scottyg on this one issue.  It is an official part of the youth program.

Consider this: The idea of goal-setting isn't your enemy.  Perhaps it is just the methodology that various leaders are applying that bothers you?  And certainly, if people are applying "the philosophies of men mingled with scripture" it is disconcerting. I'll give you a "for instance" in the opposite direction.

All my sons have made it a goal to read The Greatest Salesman in the World before their missions.  But the "scrolls" are to be read over the course of many months.  So, they all took the book with them on their missions to continue the study plan.

Lo-and-behold, one mission president said that any books other than the scriptures and official missionary manuals can be kept.  All other books are to be boxed up and sent home.

My immediate reaction was to think that TGSW would be an exception.  I believed this because I've really seen the changes that it made in my sons.  But the son with that mission president decided that he had to be obedient.

It was then that I realized that I was arguing for this man-made book over spending more time studying the word of God.  So, I repented.  And my son is sending his book home.

I've now got three kids on missions at once.  And each of them have different rules.  One son was given permission to play D&D with his investigators on p-day.  Just upon hearing that, I could see in my mind the broad smile and high-fives that he must have given.

[Still_Small_Voice]

I like the following counsel given to us by President Nelson:

"I am optimistic about the future. It will be filled with opportunities for each of us to progress, contribute, and take the gospel to every corner of the earth. But I am also not naive about the days ahead. We live in a world that is complex and increasingly contentious . . . If we are to have any hope of sifting through the myriad of voices and the philosophies of men that attack truth, we must learn to receive revelation.

Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.

My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation."   April General Conference 2018 -- President Russell M. Nelson

[LDSGator]

22 minutes ago, Still_Small_Voice said:

I am optimistic about the future.

That’s something I like about this church. Our leaders, like him and President Hinckley have a wonderful sense of optimism. 

[scottyg]

Also, for what it's worth, going back to part of the original post about employment, this was just posted not long ago about changing careers. Ken Coleman who is next to Dave Ramsey in this video has a great youtube channel with all kinds of career advice.

 

 

If you hate your job, I recommend you move. I cannot remember a time when the job market was this favorable to the employee in my lifetime. I know you said "time & energy to apply is really in short supply", but it sounds like most of your time and energy is being sapped away not from church, but from a job that you hate. Again, I've been there, and following the spiritual prompting to change careers is one of the best decisions I have ever made...top 3 in my life. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but sometimes it is, and you never know unless you look. I recommend you pray with an open heart and mind (perhaps you already have) and not let the fear of the unknown stop you from taking the next step in your life. Much of the time, that fear is based on nothing but our false perceptions.