ldsmomof3 Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 I am new here. I have a question and I don't know if this is the place to discuss it or not, but this is about relationships and such so I thought it might be an appropriate place. What I want to know is what does it take to cross over to the line that makes it so something needs to be confessed to a priesthood authority? Let me give you a scenario. A man and woman each married to someone else carry on a relationship online in which they have many intitmate discussions regarding their marriages etc. Over the course of time these 2 become aroused by one another and have impure thoughts about each other. They want to be intimate but don't want to hurt their spouses or face the consequences... but the lust is there. Then they meet in person and kiss passionately but do not take anything any further than that. They end their relationship following that one incident of making out. Both pray and repent and break connections with each other so that nothing more ever happens. These people have repented to God. Do they still need to go to the priesthood or is it resolved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 In my opinion when it becomes lustful and intimate that is when it has crossed the line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish4kitty Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 I am new here. I have a question and I don't know if this is the place to discuss it or not, but this is about relationships and such so I thought it might be an appropriate place.What I want to know is what does it take to cross over to the line that makes it so something needs to be confessed to a priesthood authority?Let me give you a scenario. A man and woman each married to someone else carry on a relationship online in which they have many intitmate discussions regarding their marriages etc. Over the course of time these 2 become aroused by one another and have impure thoughts about each other. They want to be intimate but don't want to hurt their spouses or face the consequences... but the lust is there. Then they meet in person and kiss passionately but do not take anything any further than that. They end their relationship following that one incident of making out. Both pray and repent and break connections with each other so that nothing more ever happens. These people have repented to God. Do they still need to go to the priesthood or is it resolved?It needs to be resolved at a higher level. The lustful part should have been at the least brought to some kind of counseling. When the needs inside the marriage go outside the marriage something needs to be done. Even if it is one sided. My 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Iggy Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 <<snip>>Let me give you a scenario. A man and woman each married to someone else carry on a relationship online in which they have many intitmate discussions regarding their marriages etc.<<snip>>In my opinion, the first intimate discussion crossed the line into adultery. In my opinion, both of you need to discuss this with your Bishop(s). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_jason Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 It's best to stay as far away from sexual sin altogether, rather than see how far you can go without confessing. Those who test the limits rather than adhering to gospel standards will withdraw themselves from the Spirit. If you question whether or not an act will require a confession, steer clear of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 I think they should talk to their bishop about it and they definitely owe it to their spouse to tell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 These people have repented to God. Do they still need to go to the priesthood or is it resolved?I've had two Bishops answer questions like these the same way. Their answer is "If the question remains in the mind of the person, they need to come in." Repentance isn't something you 'do to God'. It's a process that, if gone through fully, leaves no doubt, no hidden worries, no worried feelings that something is still not right.The Gospel Principles book has the following to say:We Must Confess Our SinsConfessing our sins is very important. The Lord has commanded us to confess our sins. Confession relieves a heavy burden from the sinner. The Lord has promised, “I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts” (D&C 61:2).We must confess all our sins to the Lord. In addition, we must confess serious sins, such as adultery, fornication, and robbery, which might affect our standing in the Church, to the proper priesthood authority. If we have sinned against another person, we should confess to the person we have injured. Some less serious sins involve no one but ourselves and the Lord. These may be confessed privately to the Lord.We Must Make RestitutionPart of repentance is to make restitution. This means that as much as possible we must make right any wrong that we have done. For example, a thief should give back what he has stolen. A liar should make the truth known. A gossip who has slandered the character of a person should work to restore the good name of the person he has harmed. As we do these things, God will not mention our sins to us when we are judged (see Ezekiel 33:15–16).The Miracle of Forgiveness is kind of the definitive source of answers along these lines, although it is not an official church publication.LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Now that I think about it more, I think a person has a need to confess as soon as they have any interraction with the opposite sex that they wouldn't want their spouse to know about. People who don't have anything to hide don't. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AutumnBreez Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 From the beginning when my ex- husband began to watch pornography, I felt cheated on always. He did not commit the act with the actual person but the lust for another was very painful. It was an addiction, that cost him his family, TWICE, he remarried had two more children, and his addiction caused that family to be torn apart too. Internet companionship will need to cease completely- Where/when did it cross the line?? The persons involved knows. Plus... Phone numbers/ or address/ meeting place must have been all planned. The nervousness which probably took place before meeting face to face was a warning bell. Hopefully the two persons you are speaking of will go to their Bishops and spouses to help rebuild the trust (counsel) as that will be a real test of humble pie- Fear of what will happen here is nothing compared to what will happen for eternity if they don't go to great lengths to repent completely, the sooner the better. EZRA TAFT BENSON -Speechhttp://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=7006It can sometimes be difficult to do what is right....It has taken me 12 years to come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NateHowe Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 A general rule here - if there is any doubt, seek counsel from your Priesthood leader. If the sin does not require official Church discipline, the Bishop or Branch President will give you good counsel and send you on your way. If it does require more repentance with the assistance of a judge in Israel, the Bishop or Branch President can help you start on that path. Either way, any place where you may try to draw your own line between needing the Bishop's help and not is a place where you need to talk with the Bishop to find out where the line is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherisalorraine Posted November 29, 2007 Report Share Posted November 29, 2007 I guess this is as good a place as any to ask my question! I am in the middle of a divorce it may take another year to complete it . I am wanting to know if I have a waiting period after it is over before I can begin to look for new companionship? We have been apart for over a year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted November 29, 2007 Report Share Posted November 29, 2007 As soon as the divorce is final, you should be free to date other people. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsha8 Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 I am new here. I have a question and I don't know if this is the place to discuss it or not, but this is about relationships and such so I thought it might be an appropriate place.What I want to know is what does it take to cross over to the line that makes it so something needs to be confessed to a priesthood authority?Let me give you a scenario. A man and woman each married to someone else carry on a relationship online in which they have many intitmate discussions regarding their marriages etc. Over the course of time these 2 become aroused by one another and have impure thoughts about each other. They want to be intimate but don't want to hurt their spouses or face the consequences... but the lust is there. Then they meet in person and kiss passionately but do not take anything any further than that. They end their relationship following that one incident of making out. Both pray and repent and break connections with each other so that nothing more ever happens. These people have repented to God. Do they still need to go to the priesthood or is it resolved?You crossed the line when you had sexual thoughts. You should go talk to the Bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 Go and speak with your Bishop....you could end up on a Bishop's probation with some guidelines to follow....its up to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachelleDrew Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 Look at it this way....just because someone stopped the behaviors, doesn't mean the potential to cheat again isn't there. People don't cheat for no reason, there are underlying issues there that an adulterer needs to sort out in order to keep it from happening again. The best way to do that is to speak with your bishop about what happened. I think that in the instance of infidelity, the cheater needs some sort of counsel in order to find out what caused them to cheat, and how to nip future infidelities in the bud. You bishop is not only your earthly spiritual authority, but a great resource for help too. His job is to help you when you need it....it's hard for him to do his job when he doesn't know what you are going through! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argentina84 Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Now that I think about it more, I think a person has a need to confess as soon as they have any interraction with the opposite sex that they wouldn't want their spouse to know about. People who don't have anything to hide don't. :)I fully agree with MorningStar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsha8 Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 I fully agree with MorningStar.I agree also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgrantreed Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 I guess this is as good a place as any to ask my question! I am in the middle of a divorce it may take another year to complete it . I am wanting to know if I have a waiting period after it is over before I can begin to look for new companionship? We have been apart for over a year!Once the divorce paperwork is finalized and CLOSED in the court, you are ok to pursue a replacement spouse. Dating while the process is still rolling is taboo so watch your P's and Q's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyes_on_Fire Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I am also new to this forum. I have to say that being the spouse on the receiving end of just such a relationship, that repentance belongs with a full disclosure to that spouse and ask for forgiveness of them FIRST! Then the two of you should seek counseling, first with your Bishop and then professionally. My husband has begun relationships like this on multiple occassions. The first (that I know of) led to a private visit while he was working out of state. He said it was over only when it was discovered. Four years later, I discovered that the correspondence was continuing. He has since entered into another "keeping in touch with old friends" relationship and has since crossed yet another line and has left the family, moved in with the "high school sweetheart" and filed for divorce. SEEK HELP NOW! This is not something that you want to allow to grow in your heart or to plague your spirit. Adultery is NOT a physical act. It is a transfer of affections to another who is not your spouse. Those affections can be great or small, intimate or superficial, but if you have to keep it a secret from your spouse, IT IS ADULTERY! If you say, as my husband said, that you kept it secret because you knew that your spouse would be angry, then you need to rethink doing it at all. If you think it will make your spouse angry, you SHOULD NOT be doing it PERIOD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarity_over_agreement Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 You should absolutely go see your bishop even if you are not required to by the laws of repentance. The actual act of going to him is "fruits" of a repentant soul. This will require humility, submissiveness, and a desire to fix a prospective problem; all signs of one who is seeking and recognizing the power of the atonement. This case involves powerful emotions for each other. Even if the the Lord doesn't require that you see your bishop for this type of sin, you still SHOULD go see him.THIS SIN MERITS A MEDIATOR TO HELP YOU PURGE THE SIN FROM YOUR LIFE AND IT ALSO GIVES SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE TO WHOM YOU NEED TO REPORT PROGRESS TO.The most important thing in this earthly life is your family, and you are jeopardizing it's life. That merits a bishops interview. You should also find out what in your own marriage is lacking and making you want to run to the arms of someone else. Perhaps it's only sexual desire but I think there is a bigger problem here than just the "single case of infidelity". I don't know you or your situation this is just speculation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 I guess this is as good a place as any to ask my question! I am in the middle of a divorce it may take another year to complete it . I am wanting to know if I have a waiting period after it is over before I can begin to look for new companionship? We have been apart for over a year!Years ago it used to be "Wait a year" after death or divorce", however, now it is viewed as acceptable to date once the divorce is final. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islander Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 Years ago it used to be "Wait a year" after death or divorce", however, now it is viewed as acceptable to date once the divorce is final.That would not work for anything else in human existence!!! You broke a leg and got a cast for 3 months. Get back on your skates as soon as the cast if off? How about...had a C-section and resume karate practice the day the stiches are gone!!! Sure...Come on people. You are just getting a divorce. Chances are you have little if any insight into the underlying reasons that led to the divorce. Take a break, get some coaching, take human relationships class or a self improvement seminar, read a book by Dr Laura or Dr Phil or whomever....anything but don't jump from the frying pan into the flames in your swimming suit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 I am new here. I have a question and I don't know if this is the place to discuss it or not, but this is about relationships and such so I thought it might be an appropriate place.What I want to know is what does it take to cross over to the line that makes it so something needs to be confessed to a priesthood authority?Let me give you a scenario. A man and woman each married to someone else carry on a relationship online in which they have many intimate discussions regarding their marriages etc. Over the course of time these 2 become aroused by one another and have impure thoughts about each other. They want to be intimate but don't want to hurt their spouses or face the consequences... but the lust is there. Then they meet in person and kiss passionately but do not take anything any further than that. They end their relationship following that one incident of making out. Both pray and repent and break connections with each other so that nothing more ever happens. These people have repented to God. Do they still need to go to the priesthood or is it resolved?Looking within yourself, what does the Spirit tell you to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tanuvasamama Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Adultery is NOT a physical act. It is a transfer of affections to another who is not your spouse. Those affections can be great or small, intimate or superficial, but if you have to keep it a secret from your spouse, IT IS ADULTERY!I agree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiannan Posted February 12, 2009 Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 One wonders how the internet has caused this sort of thing to mushroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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