Where To Start....


Guest AutumnBreez
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Guest AutumnBreez

I am not really sure where to start….

I was a convert (1993) not in UT- and even went to the Temple for my endowment(1994), and baptism for my deceased grandmother.

However at same time, I was also wrestling with my now ex-husband (not lds, always atheist) for many years and numerous threats of divorce from him, along with many years of sexual/mental abuse from him. Two young children were present in the home. So was my ex’s pornography and gadgets.

I met a friend, male, and he treated me with great respect, (he happened to be from SLC). I began to fall in love with him. I did not tell him that I had though, not yet. I finally got the nerve to tell my ex that I was ready for that divorce he kept prompting me with so often. He was fine with that. Not wasting time, he went out looking for women with another friend that evening. Results not as quick as he desired.

I went with my friend to the beach. I told him that I did like him and was beginning to fall in love with him. My ex wanted me back when he found that he was not getting the girls he expected to run to him. My ex went to the Bishop to tell him about my friend.

The Bishop also was aware of my issues with my ex. I was asked to go to counsel meeting. I thought it was for trying to talk me into staying with him as they had tried to counsel me before. I had enough, I became rebellious and did not go. I did not want to stay with him. They had the meeting without me. They sent me a note later stating that I had been excommunicated.

12 Years later, now….I had lived with my male friend for 4 years then we married. He also adopted my two children. My ex, remarried but quickly divorced, when she received a $2000 phone bill. She had computer analyzed and it was pornography (young girls and beasts). He was put on supervised visitation. She contacted my parents and it was passed to me. I asked for full custody and got that. One year later, he signed off all parental rights. The kids were soon adopted thereafter.

As I had said I married that friend from SLC. He was brought up by his mother who was not LDS, visited his dad who was. His father just passed away a couple of weeks ago.

I want to rejoin the church and maybe someday my husband may want to join us so that we can all be married and sealed as a family. I had already been thinking about it, even met with missionaries. However...

My father in laws death has prompted me to not procrastinate any longer, also to look at how temporary life is here on earth. Not to take things for granted, as we took for granted the time we had left with him so many occasions. I was very close to him and we have always had a connection when he was here, now I feel he is working on me from there.

The spirit has been working on me a lot lately. I had not felt it in a long time, it feels good and I don’t want to loose it. I want to be whole again after all these years.

Do you think it would be long before getting baptized once I contact the Bishop in the area I live????

(live in different state again)

Also...when the kids were little they had blessing with ex as fathers name on paper, but they are now adopted, would that get changed? When they get baptized it will have different name than the blessing.

Thanks for reading my long story….

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You definitely have had an interesting journey. I'll start by saying welcome back. To answer your question I'll have to go on what you have written. If your ex was not a member and your children were blessed by someone else....Let me stop a minute. Question...Was your children sealed to your ex ? If not when you are sealed to this new hubby your children will be sealed with him and yourself. Other question you asked was about the name change. Yes that will need to be changed in the church records. Not a major deal there. Talk to your local bishop about the baptism or the missionaries. They will be able to answer all your questions or point you in the right direction. Hey welcome back and good luck. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

kitty :)

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Guest AutumnBreez

You definitely have had an interesting journey. I'll start by saying welcome back. To answer your question I'll have to go on what you have written. If your ex was not a member and your children were blessed by someone else....Let me stop a minute. Question...Was your children sealed to your ex ? If not when you are sealed to this new hubby your children will be sealed with him and yourself. Other question you asked was about the name change. Yes that will need to be changed in the church records. Not a major deal there. Talk to your local bishop about the baptism or the missionaries. They will be able to answer all your questions or point you in the right direction. Hey welcome back and good luck. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

kitty :)

Ex was not a member, ever! His name is only on there because form request fathers name to be noted on certificate. Child was blessed by member not Ex. So name change is all that would be needed then I guess? I am not sealed to anyone. Children not sealed to anyone. Can my kids be sealed to me?

Hopefully my husbands heart will soften more. I don't know how much his fathers death has worked his heart in this matter. He is still out of town helping his step mom get the house back together. Organize and send items of dad's to places that can use them. The after your gone stuff that still has to be taken care of.

Also...quickly- my husband now- was baptized when in his youth.

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I can't answer your questions about church records but I can tell you that I was innactive for three years after my divorce (happily remarried my x-wife this past weekend though...another story...) and I really went off the deep end...when I returned in April, was disfellowshipped, though I could have easily been x'd if I had the wrong attitude....I finally went as a result of a longing that you are describing...I have compaired those 3 years to a walk in the desert...At first it was adventurous and fun, but over time the desert began to dehidrate me...When I did finally go to church, it was literally like walking into an oasis...The spirit was so strong...It was a major contrast to where I had been, so starved I was for things of the spirit...The way you describe yourself, leads me to believe that you will have the same experience when you go...You will feel the Spirit and feel love etc...talk to the bishop...They are amazing men...He will welcome you with open arms...Its sort of like when someone goes to the emergency room with a broken leg...the nurses and doctor rush in and do everything they can to help you feel confortable and bind up the injury...You never see the hospital staff barring the door saying "Wait a second, you have a broken leg, you can't come in until you have that fixed..." Church is the same way...Its like a hospital for sinners which we all are to some degree or another...noone bars the door and says you can't come in because you have made mistakes in your life...You sound as though you have had a happy outcome since then, and that you have a great family etc...sounds like The Gospel is the last piece of the puzzle, and then you will be very happy...

Just go to church and end the speculation in your mind...You will see that it is exactly as I have described...The Lord will bless you and your family...

Isaac

Oh, by the way, your x-husband sounds like a really bad person...it is good that your children will not have to deal with him and that they now have a real Dad in their life...not all kids are so fortunate...Good for you, for removing them from that horrible circumstance...it must have taken a lot of courage...:)

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Nobody here can tell you how long the rebaptism process will take. It starts with your bishop, then your stake president, then I believe it goes to the First Presidency. Repentance has no time on it. It will only happen when the priesthood leaders involved receive the revelation. Having been through church discipline myself, I would tell you to not be impatient. If you attempt to put a timeline on it, then you are not sufficiently humble, and not ready to be rebaptized. Spend time on your knees, and be willing to submit to the Lord and your priesthood leaders, even if the process takes several years. It is my belief that the Lord is not concerned with the when or the how long, but only that you ultimately become worthy of all ordinances. If it takes you until your dying day to receive these ordinances, you will be eligible for all that the Lord has promised.

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Guest AutumnBreez

"Oh, by the way, your x-husband sounds like a really bad person...it is good that your children will not have to deal with him and that they now have a real Dad in their life...not all kids are so fortunate...Good for you, for removing them from that horrible circumstance...it must have taken a lot of courage...:)"

Yes, it really did take alot. I did not have the support of my own family at first. My ex did not hesitat to call them that I cheated on him. Not filling them of what he had been doing to their daughter for years and recent. They did not support me until they were shown by his own actions with the 2nd wife. They do believe me now. I did not call and tell them about the abuse. My mother always taught stand by your man....she should have left my dad a long time ago. They are not a happy couple. Even with us kids moved out for years. My father was the only bread winner, she would have nothing she feels. They have two homes for summer and winter. She has mentioned having alone time recently. The only supporters I had was the family of my now husband. They did not even know me. My mother in law took me in her home. My father in law helped with supporting love, also financed the full custody and the adoption.

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Once you make an appt with the Bishop and counsel with him, everything will be worked out the way Heavenly Father would want it. I pray that you may have an inspired Bishop to help you with your journey back into the Church. If theres anything we can do such as answer questions please let us know.

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Guest AutumnBreez

Once you make an appt with the Bishop and counsel with him, everything will be worked out the way Heavenly Father would want it. I pray that you may have an inspired Bishop to help you with your journey back into the Church. If theres anything we can do such as answer questions please let us know.

True on that. Thanks everyone for your support.

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I agree... the place to start is with your ward bishop... make an appointment to meet with him, and tell him you are feeling the need to come back to Church... ask for his help and guidance... show him you are serious, and humble...

Explain the situation with your ex... what he had done... how you reacted... and now married with children being adopted... tell it all... honestly, simply, humbly.

Then talk with your husband the way I had to talk with my non-LDS husband when the Spirit was tugging so strongly at me after over 30 years of inactivity.

You speak of unpredictability of life... true... my husband went in for a fairly "routine" surgery that was successful... I went back to pick him up but complications had developed. Later that night the doc put my dear one in intensive care... after eight days he passed away. Imagine, walking hand in hand into the hospital for a common surgery ...and eight days later sitting in the mortuary planning his funeral... yes, do not procrastinate the day of your repentence...as the scripture counsels.

Good luck to you..

The Garden Girl

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Guest AutumnBreez

Thanks a million! Caught up with the missionaries last night and had a discussion. Spirit was there. We all felt it.

Funny thing was yesterday.... is how I caught up with them! I was sitting at work thinking of setting up a real time with them. Around 2-3pm. I only got a message and did not leave one. I drove home knowing the kids were wanting McDonalds and wondering if the Missionaries would want to join us if I could reach them. I drove into the drive and they had been there around 3 and came back because the kids told them 4ish that mom would be home. So there they were and oldest had already invited them to go with for dinner. We went out to eat. Not a typical place we usually go in the first place. I did not have stuff to prepare for dinner.

They did not know I called, and they don't have caller ID. It had been a couple of weeks since they were in the neighborhood. They had thought of us and came.

We had discussion it was real nice. Great to feel the Spirit again, looking forward to the fullness of that!!!!

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I did contact the Bishop this morning...meeting with him tonight @8. :)

My prayers will be with you too. Wow, I know Heavenly Father is so proud of the step you are taking. I walked the road you were on oh so many years ago. That first step back was the scariest. I even felt evil around me trying to scare me out of going to the Bishop. But it was then that I knew that if satan was that worried that I was putting my feet on the right path...then I knew I was doing the right thing. Be strong, no matter what it takes to come back to full membership. As I came back, I kept thinking about how each step I had to take was my way of lettting Heavenly Father know that I loved him enough to do whatever it took. My life is so blessed and I can't even imagine what it would be like without the happiness of the Gospel.

You and your family WILL be blessed.

~Kate

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Thanks a million! Caught up with the missionaries last night and had a discussion. Spirit was there. We all felt it.

Funny thing was yesterday.... is how I caught up with them! I was sitting at work thinking of setting up a real time with them. Around 2-3pm. I only got a message and did not leave one. I drove home knowing the kids were wanting McDonalds and wondering if the Missionaries would want to join us if I could reach them. I drove into the drive and they had been there around 3 and came back because the kids told them 4ish that mom would be home. So there they were and oldest had already invited them to go with for dinner. We went out to eat. Not a typical place we usually go in the first place. I did not have stuff to prepare for dinner.

They did not know I called, and they don't have caller ID. It had been a couple of weeks since they were in the neighborhood. They had thought of us and came.

We had discussion it was real nice. Great to feel the Spirit again, looking forward to the fullness of that!!!!

Missionaries are the coolest...If they were sent, then God is mindful of you...He planted the idea in their minds to come for a visit...That is great that you are meeting with the bishop too...How did your husband respond to the missinaries? Keep us posted...:)

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Guest AutumnBreez

Timing has been incredible!

So last night I was a bit early to visit....waiting for bishop in lobby area, sitting on couch....had not talked to my husband for a day, out of blue-he called me time for me to tell him that I was going in to talk to the Bishop- 'I hope you don't mind..."told you before that I was ok with it, I am not going to keep you from doing so, if that is what makes you happy" ...more or less not word for word but close. Supportive.

The meeting with the Bishop was very good. He welcomed me back! Since the disciplinary action was held so long ago, and only looks like at local level, he will communicate with the Stake President on whether it will be taken care of at local level here, or to the Stake,etc., , etc. Send out for my records and begin the process. He asked if I would like a blessing before going home. Which I concurred as a good idea. :D

I will be going to church tomorrow only a tad late, my son has roller hockey game. My youngest is ok with going after his game (and shower of course).

Not sure about the oldest being as willing. Has shown some distance in that arena.

It will happen eventually- I am not going to feel stressed about it. Choose not to let it bring my decision off course.

Thanks to all!!

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Timing has been incredible!

So last night I was a bit early to visit....waiting for bishop in lobby area, sitting on couch....had not talked to my husband for a day, out of blue-he called me time for me to tell him that I was going in to talk to the Bishop- 'I hope you don't mind..."told you before that I was ok with it, I am not going to keep you from doing so, if that is what makes you happy" ...more or less not word for word but close. Supportive.

The meeting with the Bishop was very good. He welcomed me back! Since the disciplinary action was held so long ago, and only looks like at local level, he will communicate with the Stake President on whether it will be taken care of at local level here, or to the Stake,etc., , etc. Send out for my records and begin the process. He asked if I would like a blessing before going home. Which I concurred as a good idea. :D

I will be going to church tomorrow only a tad late, my son has roller hockey game. My youngest is ok with going after his game (and shower of course).

Not sure about the oldest being as willing. Has shown some distance in that arena.

It will happen eventually- I am not going to feel stressed about it. Choose not to let it bring my decision off course.

Thanks to all!!

That's awesome! I'm so happy for you. :D I bet it made your bishop's day!

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What a lovely story. Yours is one very similar to my own. I found my way back home too, its funny because now I seem to have lost all my rebelious traits, thank goodness. I hope your way back will bring you as much joy as it did me. Remember to always trust in The Lord, listen to the Holy Ghost and your life will be soo much better. It may not be easy at times but its worth it. I hope you keep posting and sharing your experiences as you make your way to your rebatism. I was first baptised at eight year old, I joined the chuch with my mum and 2 of my siblins, my dad didnt get baptised till about a year later, so when i was rebaptised I had the oportunity to step into the font with him, it was such a special day one I will never forget, also if I had waited to re join he wouldnt have been able to do it as he now has trouble standing up!

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Guest AutumnBreez

Older son asking some questions....Missionaries coming Wed and Thurs. @6. I tried to answer some, but he is very bright and has a tendancy to try to ask with hidden answers of his own before asked, or trying to off center me. Told him that I am still learning and feel it would best for him to ask the missionaries.

(They are used to having somewhat debates. I am not armed for that yet. ) Hope he is asking for the right reasons, curiosity. Seems to be.

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