I Don't Know Better

[Carborendum]

I had an interesting conversation with my youngest son today.  He is basically failing in all his school subjects.  So, I delved to see what was going on.  It had nothing to do with his intelligence.  He gets into a lot of trouble because of his brains and lack of experience... or lack of humility.

We zeroed-in on his typing program.  Long story short, he was not doing what the program said to do.  He decided he knew what needed doing and he did it the way he thought was best.  But he just couldn't type enough to pass the tests.

I had to explain to him that the method that they teach is designed to provide maximum efficiency.  What he was doing was a very smart method for a few situations.  But as an overall system, it really slowed him down.  That was why he was failing.  Part of it was that since it was only helpful in a few situations, he had to think about every word he typed, then make a decision about what method to use.  He didn't realized that by doing some things instinctively greatly increased his performance even if it may seem more inefficient at the moment.

Apparently his attitude of "I know better" was being applied to all subjects and even the more non-academic aspects at his school.  So, he's really not advancing very far.

I saw this as having a spiritual application.  Whenever we're given a commandment or a guideline, we tend to think "I know better.  I'm going to do it my own way."  For many temporal things that may be a problem unless we really do know better.  But with spiritual things, when we start saying we know better than the Lord...  That's some pretty shaky ground.

We'll see if my son actually applies the advice I gave him.

[mikbone]

Part of the introduction to a book I once wrote.

 

Many times, the Lord gives us instruction without explaining the details as to why His recommendations or commandments should be followed. At times we may not understand this information or His intentions. He is not required to immediately correct our incorrect assumptions. But he does know what we are thinking. He can use our misconceptions and failures for our growth and benefit. And this can be an extremely powerful learning experience. 

One of the greatest things that we can learn in life, is to trust and obey our Father.

Edited December 14, 2022 by mikbone

[Vort]

4 hours ago, Carborendum said:

I had an interesting conversation with my youngest son today.  He is basically failing in all his school subjects.  So, I delved to see what was going on.  It had nothing to do with his intelligence.  He gets into a lot of trouble because of his brains and lack of experience... or lack of humility.

We zeroed-in on his typing program.  Long story short, he was not doing what the program said to do.  He decided he knew what needed doing and he did it the way he thought was best.  But he just couldn't type enough to pass the tests.

I had to explain to him that the method that they teach is designed to provide maximum efficiency.  What he was doing was a very smart method for a few situations.  But as an overall system, it really slowed him down.  That was why he was failing.  Part of it was that since it was only helpful in a few situations, he had to think about every word he typed, then make a decision about what method to use.  He didn't realized that by doing some things instinctively greatly increased his performance even if it may seem more inefficient at the moment.

Apparently his attitude of "I know better" was being applied to all subjects and even the more non-academic aspects at his school.  So, he's really not advancing very far.

I saw this as having a spiritual application.  Whenever we're given a commandment or a guideline, we tend to think "I know better.  I'm going to do it my own way."  For many temporal things that may be a problem unless we really do know better.  But with spiritual things, when we start saying we know better than the Lord...  That's some pretty shaky ground.

We'll see if my son actually applies the advice I gave him.

One of the pitfalls of homeschooling, and also, I would say, one of its benefits. To get confronted head-on by your own prideful attitude and forced (if you are honest) to see it is a valuable gift indeed. Schools are very good at pounding conformity into students, but not so much at helping them make subtle distinctions in their actions and personalities between helpful and unhelpful characteristics. Often, the two look an awful lot alike.

[The Folk Prophet]

17 hours ago, Vort said:

To get confronted head-on by your own prideful attitude and forced (if you are honest) to see it is a valuable gift indeed.

I assume you're saying that the confrontation is the valuable gift, right?

17 hours ago, Vort said:

One of the pitfalls of homeschooling, and also, I would say, one of its benefits. [...] Schools are very good at pounding conformity into students, but not so much at helping them make subtle distinctions in their actions and personalities between helpful and unhelpful characteristics.

Is this really a result of schools/home-schooling? I cannot help but wonder if this sort of thing is really a nurture thing, or if it tends more towards nature. I really don't know.

[Traveler]

The problem with following guidelines (regardless of the source) is that there are always exceptions.  Even considering that there are exceptions can have exceptions.  It does seem that when taking a test that going back and changing answers is counterproductive.   But then there are times we realize that we misunderstood.  We have the gift and power of the Holy Ghost but even that recommendation often confuses people.  

The scientific definition of intelligence is the ability to learn and power to modify behavior.  This definition looks a lot like repentance to me.  I like to think of repentance as more than just turning from sin - but as a means of improving (perfecting) whatever one is doing.  Even if something is not a sin does not mean that we cannot repent and do better.

Sometime I think the prupose of life is to learn and improve.  In reality we do not learn unless we change. 

Edited December 15, 2022 by Traveler

[Carborendum]

27 minutes ago, Traveler said:

The problem with following guidelines (regardless of the source) is that there are always exceptions.  Even considering that there are exceptions can have exceptions. 

Yes, this is certainly true.  And I spoke with him about this.  The philosophy about applying an exception is an unpredictable one.  And we need to be careful about how we apply it.  Here's the method I recommended to my son.

• Learn the rules
• Apply the rules
• Master the rules
• Break the right rules (figure out the exceptions).

I gave two examples, one temporal, one spiritual.

TYPING: I learned to type the common rote manner that most people are taught.  I eventually became the fastest in my class.  But I had one fatal weakness.  I could never really get good at the numbers/punctuation on the top row.  The reason was that those keys were used so infrequently, it was impossible for me to get really fluent in using them.  I could never develop muscle memory.

Eventually, I learned to do the 10-key really fast.  So, for the numbers and the mathematical operators, I applied a work-around that was specially tailored to me and my needs/skills.  But it was only after mastering the common technique and truly understanding the principles behind it that I knew that this exception would be good to go.

WORD OF WISDOM: I have always obeyed the Word of Wisdom since I was a child.  I learned it.  I applied it.  I studied it over all the many years of my life and understood what blessings came from it.  I gained a testimony of it.  I don't want to start another thread jack, so I won't mention details.  But we all know about the one substance that is considered "on the borderline".  And many people take harsh stances on which side of the line they are. 

I've taken the position that there will be times that I will use it (with a flavorful green flare  ).  But I have decided to do it only rarely and for specific circumstances.  Others will choose differently for themselves. 

Again, with manmade rules, it is usually more acceptable to find exceptions.  But only after mastering the rules first so you understand why the rule is there in the first place.

With divine commandments, exceptions still exist, certainly.  But we need to be much more careful about declaring an exception, and even more careful about applying the exceptions.