family sealing


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15 hours ago, Marie4 said:

Hello, I'm new to this site, and just need some opinions/ guidance. Im a sibling of 7, now when I was younger one of my siblings was "given" to my dads sister. At the time my parents were under the impression that everything was still going to be normal. When he husband passed away that is when she begun the adoption process and everything started to become real.(She'd still sleepover at our house etc) Over the years my aunt (dads sister) became very controlling and manuiplative of my parents and sister. My dad worked away in a different country and my aunt would sit at our house for 5+ hours a day she wouldn't leave my sister with us and treat our mother like nothing. We are now not as active in the church as we use to be (personal reasons, I still love the gospel.) but when we were she brung up to my mother that she wanted my sister to unseal her from us, and seal my sister to her and husband. My mum being nice and scared that she wouldn't see my sister said yes, then later changed her mind. And my dad being nice as he is said yes as-well. a few years went back and it wasn't brought up again then I think in 2015-18 it was brought up. My mum went to the bishop and told them no because its not right, mum went to the stake president and confided in him. Then he stopped the process and didn't sign, it was a good NO. Then a few more years go by and we get a new stake president (2021), that week my aunty goes to him and it gets approved. Around this time it was a tough time for my family personal reasons again. Without talking to my parents, my aunt sent a screenshot of the email to my mum saying it had been approve after my mum begged them to not let it go through. After this nothing happened or it wasn't brought up. Now this year 2023. We walk into my grandmas house, my aunt is there and says "Its been approved, bishop (Different bishop from before)  wants to talk to you guys, I'm not sure why. Thats weird." I just want to keep in mind that it is not bishop's fault but my aunt and sister are very close to their family and I think that is why she started the process again, because she's tight with them. Yesterday bishop came to our house, basically said I know about all the yuck stuff that happened with the other situations, but I just wanna know if it's a yes or no. Coming at the wrong time my dad will be giving him the answer (yes) next week. Because of who the person my aunt is all we can say is yes. which is a real let down. I know what members are gonna say and think about and its not good. It'll look like my parents didn't even care and because they are not active in the church anymore people will just be like "Well, they're not active anymore so obviously they don't care that they are unsealing her." It isn't right. But then if they say no which they aren't cause they have no option as they said 'yes' years ago. I am 19 now and this has been happening since I was 15, personally my siblings and I say hard no. My siblings and i remember that day clearly going to the temple as a family and being sealed, it was so special. She was the baby of the family at the time, (I was about 8 - 9) its honestly has broken my heart. I just want to know what happens now? or the process of it since it can't be stopped. 


please no rude comments, as I have left out most of the yuck stuff, I really just wanted thoughts on this. 


I'm sorry to hear about these struggles.  A lot of it doesn't seem to make sense. It goes against the Church Handbook.


Living children who are born in the covenant or have been sealed to parents cannot be sealed to any other parents without First Presidency approval.


I didn't hear anything in your post about First Presidency approval.  

I also didn't hear you say anything about your objections to the bishops or stake presidents.  Your mom spoke to one bishop.  And your aunt did a run around with another bishop.  But YOU need to tell the bishop that this was being forced on you by your aunt, and neither your parents nor the children wanted this.  How on earth did they get First Presidency approval?  What lies were told?

Just to be sure about something... If your parents signed papers saying that they were going along with it, then that's no good.  It doesn't matter what they said if they signed the papers approving it.  You need to be EXTRA sure that neither parent actually signed it.  Get a verbal statement from them on recording.  I don't relish saying this.  But your parents may actually be partially complicit in this.  But they want to blame it all on the aunt, so they don't look bad in your eyes.

You can still talk to the Bishop who pushed the paperwork through.  Tell him that your aunt is manipulating your whole family into this. 

Finally, the actual ceremony must be completed.  That requires you to go to the temple for the ordinance.  And you will need to say "yes" at the ceremony.  If you simply choose to not go or say "no" at the ceremony, the aunt will have a hard time explaining why she tried to cajole you into this when no one wanted this except her.

If all else fails, we need to remember that there are instances of ambiguous circumstances.  For example, we have a woman who was married twice in her lifetime and had children by both men.  But no one was sealed.  If their work is done for them in the temple, we don't know which man she is supposed to be sealed to.  So, we seal her to both men (I believe that is the procedure -- someone may correct me on that).  But in the end, the Lord will make the judgment about which sealing is honored and which is not.

Edited by Carborendum
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Ultimately, I would just say no. It's your life, and anything related to temple ordinances should not be forced in any way...that goes against the Father's plan. Your original sealing to your parents and siblings is not broken unless you choose to break it. For example, if parents get divorced and cancel their sealing, that does not cancel the sealing of their children to them and each other. Saying to to her may cause some family drama...but it sounds like you have an aunt causing that already. Maybe she means well...maybe she doesn't. Regardless, she really doesn't get a say in your life. Maybe you will feel different when you're older, but for now, pray about it and make the choice that feels right.

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