Blessings And Worthiness

[MorningStar]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

[snipe123]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

Hey morning star...Fortunately I do not have the porn problem...I recently remarried my x-wife in October (may have read the story already so I won't go into it) and I also returned to the church in April after a three year absense(have told that story too...haha) and am currently in a disfellowhipped status (told that one also...haha) and I cannot use my priesthood while under that particular status...This is not common knowledge in the ward, since I just moved to the one my wife was in, but a few of the relevent people know...I asked our home teacher who had looked after my wife and kids for the last three years (in my abcense) to give the kids blessings before they started their school year (ages 5, 8, 11) and my fahter-in-law will be giving my Son the priesthood this Sunday (he turns 12 on friday...:))...I would never give a blssing unless I was concidered worthy...I would also encourage any man who does this, to be a man, and humble himself and take the small bit of shame that might occur because "someone knows" as part of the consequence of your actions and then repent...I am missing out on some great experiences as a result of my choices, but I am also taking the steps necessary to insure that I never participate in any priesthood function when my worthiness is in question...As I sit in sacrament on Sunday and do not take the sacrament, I don't concern myself with who sees and who doesn't because I have a repentent attitude...I don't say that out of pride, but in gratitude that God has given me the right perspective...My kids simply know that Dad is repenting and they smiled when we explained it to them...I think most members who understand Luke 15 will likewise smile if they see someone not take the sacrament...It shows they are not hiding their sins, but facing them, and overcoming them...I have a new and improved perspective on the sacrament as the ordinance that it is, its cleansing power etc...I hope everyone sees it this way...I also hope that your Stake President holds such a meeting so that men in your Stake will understand the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood that they are violating, and that they will come to understand the needs of their wives...in the meantime, I hope they will allow a bishop, or hometeacher to step in and provide a blessing where it is needed...Oh, and I should be back in full fellowship by May or June...I have run from The Great and Spacious Building by leaps and bounds and have never looked back! Happy me...:) HAHA

[HiJolly]

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest?

I used to struggle with worthiness issues, too. I hated not feeling worthy to give blessings, but certainly didn't want to stop my wife/kids from receiving them. So I didn't mind going to the HT or good friends for a blessing. Sometimes awkward questions were asked, but I didn't give any reason as to why I wouldn't do it myself. I know some men would rather damn themselves than do that, but at least I didn't have that problem.

Then I started thinking about certain priests in the ward who blessed the sacrament unworthily. I don't think that their unworthiness kept the sacrament from blessing the lives of the members. It may have condemned the priests, but not the members. So, too, I think that a blessing from an unworthy father is not good for the father, but can still heal or bless the recipient. So...

HiJolly

[MorningStar]

I used to struggle with worthiness issues, too. I hated not feeling worthy to give blessings, but certainly didn't want to stop my wife/kids from receiving them. So I didn't mind going to the HT or good friends for a blessing. Sometimes awkward questions were asked, but I didn't give any reason as to why I wouldn't do it myself. I know some men would rather damn themselves than do that, but at least I didn't have that problem.

Then I started thinking about certain priests in the ward who blessed the sacrament unworthily. I don't think that their unworthiness kept the sacrament from blessing the lives of the members. It may have condemned the priests, but not the members. So, too, I think that a blessing from an unworthy father is not good for the father, but can still heal or bless the recipient. So...

HiJolly

That's wonderful that you had enough humility to wait until you were worthy. It's been really awkward for a friend of mine because her husband gives all sorts of excuses as to why he won't do it, saying, "Geez, why don't you just go to the doctor" and that sort of thing. When she finally said she was going to have someone else do it, then he stepped up, but she thinks it was because he didn't want her to think he was having issues. She has confronted him about her suspicions, but he keeps denying it. Actually, he denies it by asking, "Why would I do that?"

When a man does give a blessing unworthily, do you think the Spirit speaks to him just long enough to give it? Sometimes I wonder if they would just have to fake their way through it.

[MorningStar]

Hey morning star...Fortunately I do not have the porn problem...I recently remarried my x-wife in October (may have read the story already so I won't go into it) and I also returned to the church in April after a three year absense(have told that story too...haha) and am currently in a disfellowhipped status (told that one also...haha) and I cannot use my priesthood while under that particular status...This is not common knowledge in the ward, since I just moved to the one my wife was in, but a few of the relevent people know...I asked our home teacher who had looked after my wife and kids for the last three years (in my abcense) to give the kids blessings before they started their school year (ages 5, 8, 11) and my fahter-in-law will be giving my Son the priesthood this Sunday (he turns 12 on friday...:))...I would never give a blssing unless I was concidered worthy...I would also encourage any man who does this, to be a man, and humble himself and take the small bit of shame that might occur because "someone knows" as part of the consequence of your actions and then repent...I am missing out on some great experiences as a result of my choices, but I am also taking the steps necessary to insure that I never participate in any priesthood function when my worthiness is in question...As I sit in sacrament on Sunday and do not take the sacrament, I don't concern myself with who sees and who doesn't because I have a repentent attitude...I don't say that out of pride, but in gratitude that God has given me the right perspective...My kids simply know that Dad is repenting and they smiled when we explained it to them...I think most members who understand Luke 15 will likewise smile if they see someone not take the sacrament...It shows they are not hiding their sins, but facing them, and overcoming them...I have a new and improved perspective on the sacrament as the ordinance that it is, its cleansing power etc...I hope everyone sees it this way...I also hope that your Stake President holds such a meeting so that men in your Stake will understand the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood that they are violating, and that they will come to understand the needs of their wives...in the meantime, I hope they will allow a bishop, or hometeacher to step in and provide a blessing where it is needed...Oh, and I should be back in full fellowship by May or June...I have run from The Great and Spacious Building by leaps and bounds and have never looked back! Happy me...:) HAHA

Wow, it sounds like you're handling things really well. I'm happy for you! I'm glad you didn't withhold any blessings from your family.

[jadams_4040]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

What i want to know is just how do the "un" worthy preisthood holders give blessings and feel good about it? and how can they put on such a convincing show? At least some do as you say and not give blessings, but others do even though they are not worthy and it doesnt seem to bother them.????

[MorningStar]

I think they do feel bad, but the thought of their wives leaving them makes them feel worse.

[jadams_4040]

I think they do feel bad, but the thought of their wives leaving them makes them feel worse.

Yer probably correct! And i would want to thank you for speaking on this subject in the first place. We all need {all members} for you woman to help make sure this Holy preisthood is honored by every preisthood holder. And the Woman,Wife,Mother,Grandmother, is a very powerfull force in which to help make sure the pristhood holder honors this wonderfull blessing, w/out it what would we have? And w/out worthyness we dont have the preisthood.

Thank you for brining this subject into the limelight, And now i myself am going to push this issue at every opportunity from now on. Thank you!

[MorningStar]

Yer probably correct! And i would want to thank you for speaking on this subject in the first place. We all need {all members} for you woman to help make sure this Holy preisthood is honored by every preisthood holder. And the Woman,Wife,Mother,Grandmother, is a very powerfull force in which to help make sure the pristhood holder honors this wonderfull blessing, w/out it what would we have? And w/out worthyness we dont have the preisthood.

Thank you for brining this subject into the limelight, And now i myself am going to push this issue at every opportunity from now on. Thank you!

Thanks, jadams. :)

[JohnBirchSociety]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

I firmly believe it is the Patriarchal right of the Father / Husband to bless his children / wife, regardless of being "worthy" (whatever that means?).

It is sad indeed that this EXCLUSIVE right has been intruded upon by the Church. The Church needs to get its' nose out of the way of Father's / Husband's. They are the head of the home, period.

[JohnBirchSociety]

Yer probably correct! And i would want to thank you for speaking on this subject in the first place. We all need {all members} for you woman to help make sure this Holy preisthood is honored by every preisthood holder. And the Woman,Wife,Mother,Grandmother, is a very powerfull force in which to help make sure the pristhood holder honors this wonderfull blessing, w/out it what would we have? And w/out worthyness we dont have the preisthood.

Thank you for brining this subject into the limelight, And now i myself am going to push this issue at every opportunity from now on. Thank you!

A Father / Husband has the Patriarchal RIGHT to bless his family at any time. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Priesthood Authority.

It is the Father's exclusive right to do so.

[Dr. Mom]

A Father / Husband has the Patriarchal RIGHT to bless his family at any time. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Priesthood Authority.

It is the Father's exclusive right to do so.

John-

Please understand that the Priesthood of God is not granted to every man regardless of worthiness. It is the power to act in His name with His will. How can you even suggest that an unworthy individual could possibly be in tune with the Spirit? I think pride is a churchwide problem that doesn't just affect the men, the women also suffer from prideful issues. The topic here and now is about being worthy to give a blessing. Worthiness will always be an issue when it comes to acting on behalf of God. On the flipside, I know plenty of women who refuse to accept blessings from certain men in the church merely because they have passed judgement on them. While this is unfair, I feel that being worthy to receive a blessing is just as important as being worthy to get one. It takes alot of courage for some to ask for blessings and when feelings get hurt it makes it more difficult to request one.

If I could hand over a piece of advice I would say that it is the responsibility of each of us to ensure we are worthy in the eyes of our Father at all times. We are promised the companionship of the Spirit if we strive to live as we should, this includes resolving issues that could have an adverse effect on our spiritual growth. I have personally been benefitted from the blessings of the Priesthood and cannot even fathom the idea of not having access to it. Granted my husband is not around 100% of the time so sometimes it becomes necessary to ask other Priesthood holders for a blessing, but in the end those blessings are authored by Jesus Christ Himself; the person giving the blessing is just the mouthpiece, however a worthy mouthpiece.

[JohnBirchSociety]

John-

Please understand that the Priesthood of God is not granted to every man regardless of worthiness. It is the power to act in His name with His will. How can you even suggest that an unworthy individual could possibly be in tune with the Spirit? I think pride is a churchwide problem that doesn't just affect the men, the women also suffer from prideful issues. The topic here and now is about being worthy to give a blessing. Worthiness will always be an issue when it comes to acting on behalf of God. On the flipside, I know plenty of women who refuse to accept blessings from certain men in the church merely because they have passed judgement on them. While this is unfair, I feel that being worthy to receive a blessing is just as important as being worthy to get one. It takes alot of courage for some to ask for blessings and when feelings get hurt it makes it more difficult to request one.

If I could hand over a piece of advice I would say that it is the responsibility of each of us to ensure we are worthy in the eyes of our Father at all times. We are promised the companionship of the Spirit if we strive to live as we should, this includes resolving issues that could have an adverse effect on our spiritual growth. I have personally been benefitted from the blessings of the Priesthood and cannot even fathom the idea of not having access to it. Granted my husband is not around 100% of the time so sometimes it becomes necessary to ask other Priesthood holders for a blessing, but in the end those blessings are authored by Jesus Christ Himself; the person giving the blessing is just the mouthpiece, however a worthy mouthpiece.

A Patriarchal blessing in the family setting is not a function of the Priesthood. It is the right, the exclusive right, of the Father / Husband. In fact, no priesthood is even necessary for a Father / Husband to bless his wife / children.

The Father stands at the head of the home, the Church does not.

I find it shameful that the Church would suppose to exercise authority over the family Patriach where no such authority exists.

[Dr. Mom]

A Patriarchal blessing in the family setting is not a function of the Priesthood. It is the right, the exclusive right, of the Father / Husband. In fact, no priesthood is even necessary for a Father / Husband to bless his wife / children.

The Father stands at the head of the home, the Church does not.

I find it shameful that the Church would suppose to exercise authority over the family Patriach where no such authority exists.

John-

By what authority would you suggest someone bless their family?

[MorningStar]

I firmly believe it is the Patriarchal right of the Father / Husband to bless his children / wife, regardless of being "worthy" (whatever that means?).

It is sad indeed that this EXCLUSIVE right has been intruded upon by the Church. The Church needs to get its' nose out of the way of Father's / Husband's. They are the head of the home, period.

Why should we believe you instead of the prophets on this? When did this intrusion begin?

[ztodd]

A Patriarchal blessing in the family setting is not a function of the Priesthood. It is the right, the exclusive right, of the Father / Husband. In fact, no priesthood is even necessary for a Father / Husband to bless his wife / children.

The Father stands at the head of the home, the Church does not.

I find it shameful that the Church would suppose to exercise authority over the family Patriach where no such authority exists.

You don't need to have the priesthood to have the right to offer up prayer. Even without any male figure present, the mother or the children can offer prayer to ask for blessings without the priesthood.

The father leads and presides over the family spiritually, whether he has the priesthood or not. So if he is present, it should be his duty to lead a familiy in prayer or other spiritual matters.

But as far as giving priesthood blessings- here's part of an article from the November 1991 Ensign: Obtaining Help from the Lord - Elder Richard G. Scott

"One way the Lord helps us is through priesthood blessings. When a worthy priesthood bearer is led to pronounce specific blessings, we can be greatly comforted. Yet there is no guarantee of outcome without effort on our part...We must strive to be worthy and to exercise the requisite faith to do what we are able...

Once I was awakened by a call from an anxious mother. Her premature child was not expected to survive the night. She asked for a priesthood blessing. As I approached the suffering child, the mother stopped me, looked into my eyes, and asked, “Are you worthy to bless my child?” That was an appropriate question. One never feels completely worthy, but we must do our best to be so. There came a strong prompting to bless the child to recover. The worthy mother continued professional treatment and exercised her faith. The Lord responded with the additional blessing needed. And the child recovered.

...

It is a sobering responsibility for those who bear the priesthood to act as agents of the Lord to help those in need. That trust requires faith, worthiness, and a sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit to communicate the will of the Lord. Also, it is a sobering responsibility for those who receive a blessing to exercise faith, to express gratitude for every degree of improvement observed, and to do all within their power to resolve the need."

[MorningStar]

You don't need to have the priesthood to have the right to offer up prayer. Even without any male figure present, the mother or the children can offer prayer to ask for blessings without the priesthood.

The father leads and presides over the family spiritually, whether he has the priesthood or not. So if he is present, it should be his duty to lead a familiy in prayer or other spiritual matters.

But as far as giving priesthood blessings- here's part of an article from the November 1991 Ensign: Obtaining Help from the Lord - Elder Richard G. Scott

"One way the Lord helps us is through priesthood blessings. When a worthy priesthood bearer is led to pronounce specific blessings, we can be greatly comforted. Yet there is no guarantee of outcome without effort on our part...We must strive to be worthy and to exercise the requisite faith to do what we are able...

Once I was awakened by a call from an anxious mother. Her premature child was not expected to survive the night. She asked for a priesthood blessing. As I approached the suffering child, the mother stopped me, looked into my eyes, and asked, “Are you worthy to bless my child?” That was an appropriate question. One never feels completely worthy, but we must do our best to be so. There came a strong prompting to bless the child to recover. The worthy mother continued professional treatment and exercised her faith. The Lord responded with the additional blessing needed. And the child recovered.

...

It is a sobering responsibility for those who bear the priesthood to act as agents of the Lord to help those in need. That trust requires faith, worthiness, and a sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit to communicate the will of the Lord. Also, it is a sobering responsibility for those who receive a blessing to exercise faith, to express gratitude for every degree of improvement observed, and to do all within their power to resolve the need."

That was a wonderful quote, Todd. Thank you! :) Last week when I had stabbing ear pain that started late at night, I didn't want to go to the ER because last time we did that, it cost us $400. I realize that sometimes there are reasons we have to endure certain trials, so I was OK with the way things worked out. My husband gave me a blessing and right after it started, I heard a pop and the pain lessened. About 10 seconds later, there was another pop and the pain was gone. I was able to sleep most of the night with very little pain. When I woke up, I swallowed and the stabbing pain returned, but luckily the clinic was open by then and I was able to get an appt. It was followed by a few frustrating days of trying to help my doctor understand that I needed oral antibiotics instead of the eardrops they gave me, but maybe there was something he was supposed to learn from the situation. The pain was relentless and I finally got antibiotics on Saturday and the throbbing/stabbing was gone by the next morning. I will have a follow-up with my doctor and let him know what happened. :) I would've preferred for the pain to remain gone after the blessing, but I'll take what I can get. My husband also blessed me that the rest of my body would heal. And wouldn't you know it? I have had very little pain in my back and foot this week! I spent all day on Saturday cooking a huge meal with my friend and I was amazed that neither of them bothered me much. Woo hoo!!!! And yesterday I was in the greatest mood because I was at church and didn't feel any longer like my ear was being stabbed. Sweet relief. I can't believe how much that hurt.

[Guest prnldsfrms]

I think what women want is to know that the blessing words are the ones that God meant to be said, not the ramblings of our husbands whom we know to be fallible and with whom we sometimes disagree. And that requires the ability to hear what God wants and the humbleness to submit human will to his, sometimes overcoming our own pride or wishes about what should be said.

I think that worthy men sometimes fail to take the steps that are required to really hear what God wants them to do and say. And I think that an unworthy man who strives to overcome that in a moment where they are the only ones with priesthood authority and someone needs blessing, may sometimes give a righteous blessing.

I also am sure that if an unworthy man attempts to give a blessing, the recipient will receive the blessings that God will not deprive them of because of the pride and unworthiness of the person doing the blessing.

[Guest Seraphim]

I firmly believe it is the Patriarchal right of the Father / Husband to bless his children / wife, regardless of being "worthy" (whatever that means?).

It is sad indeed that this EXCLUSIVE right has been intruded upon by the Church. The Church needs to get its' nose out of the way of Father's / Husband's. They are the head of the home, period.

JBS: There are many varying opinions among members of the church regarding many subjects. However, what you are preaching here goes against the teachings of our prophets. This board should not be used for swaying others towards your particular beliefs, which is the way your posts are coming across in this discussion.

Seraphim

[JohnBirchSociety]

John-

By what authority would you suggest someone bless their family?

The exclusive patriarchal authority the Father has in the home.

[ztodd]

The exclusive patriarchal authority the Father has in the home.

I think we'd all prefer if you backed up your statements from teachings of the church. Or if not based on teachings on the church, tell us what they are based on. What did you think of my previous post? There's no problem with any man, woman, or child offering a standard prayer to ask for blessings.

[Dr. Mom]

I think we'd all prefer if you backed up your statements from teachings of the church. Or if not based on teachings on the church, tell us what they are based on. What did you think of my previous post? There's no problem with any man, woman, or child offering a standard prayer to ask for blessings.

Todd-

I seem to remember a conference talk about the prayer of a mother being very powerful. I'll have to look it up, it was very good!

[DrewM]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

I have to be honest, at times I do not feel worthy to use my priesthood. I think strictly speaking, no one is worthy since we all fall short of the glory of God. A few months ago, one of our children was really sick. My wife asked that I bless him. The thought immediately came to my mind that I wasn't worthy. Then I thought "it doesn't matter. I hold the authority and I will bless him anyway!" I laid may hands on his head, commanded him to be made whole, and he was. Now, I think what happens is that Satan tries to convince us that we're not worthy. Well, he's right, we're not. However, God has given us this authority even though we do not deserve it and he has authorized us to use it even though we are not worthy of it. So, I think that just because a husband doesn't feel worthy doesn't mean he shouldn't do it, per se. Also, I think it doesn't mean that he isn't really authorized or capable of doing it in the eyes of the Lord. I hope that helps.

On to something else, I think sometimes there are just differences in perspective. My wife usually is quicker to suggest a blessing than me. I grew up in a home where blessings were given, but usually only in extreme cases. She grew up in a home where blessings were given for ear aches, tummy aches, etc. So, when there is a problem with the kids she wants to bless them before I feel like it is necessary. I am more reserved and would rather see a doctor first, whereas she would rather give a blessing and not go to the doctor. So, it might be good for a wife to ask about her husband's feelings as to when a blessing is necessary, etc. It might be necessary for him to readjust his view on it or for her to do so, so that there might be harmony.

One last thing, while mothers are welcome to suggest blessings for their children and to encourage their husbands to do so, ultimately it is his decision, I think. If he doesn't when he should, it's to his own condemnation (or vis a versa). In most cases, I don't think it is proper to take your child to someone else without his consent as that would overstep his authority as the patriarch of the home. I don't mean to sound anti-feminist, but that is my understanding of the issue of presiding. If he does wrong, he'll be damned, not you. You should encourage, persuade, and help him, but never override or ignore him even if he's wrong (obviously this doesn't apply in issues of serious moral nature, etc I am only speaking of giving priesthood blessings here). These are my views only. I think also, that if he is unwilling and you feel strongly otherwise, you should make it a matter of prayer. If you still feel strongly and can't convince him, perhaps you should pray for the health of your child and that he/she be cured. The Lord hears mothers' prayers.

Your husband has no right to turn down a blessing to you, however, if you ask for it. Likewise, he shouldn't turn down a request from a child for a blessing if the child is old enough to understand what she/he is asking for and when it is appropriate, etc. To do so would be to violate his priesthood covenant. The only exception, of course, is that he really is completely unworthy in which case he should be clear about it and make sure you still get a blessing from someone who is available.

[LdsNana]

A Father / Husband has the Patriarchal RIGHT to bless his family at any time. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Priesthood Authority.

It is the Father's exclusive right to do so.

JBS,

YOU are preaching false doctrine in regards to the blessing of the sick by the way of anointing and sealing with consecrated oil and then giving a Priesthood blessing by the Laying on of Hands in the Name of Jesus Christ and through the Power of the Holy Priesthood.

NOW, if you are merely saying that ALL fathers are naturally patriarchs in their homes and do have a right to pray and bless their families without Priesthood authority, you would be correct. But that is all. Personal worthiness and faith would still be factors in the power of the prayer being offered up to God.

This same principle would apply to any righteous individual seeking a blessing from God.

FAITH is the POWER of the priesthood. (Bruce R. McConkie)

If you have not read the talk "Only an Elder" then I would submit it to every male member of the church.

Every male member of the church who receives the Melchizidek Priesthood receives the inherent patriarchal key to preside IN their family throughout Eternity.

When they are sealed they then share equally this key with their eternal companion. They do not turn the key for her or exercise dominion over her in any way. She simply now has equal access to this key through the sealing covenant. My Stake President just recently taught regarding the equal holding of the patriarchal key between husband and wife in the home.

I believe it was Dallin Oaks that also recently spoke about the differences in the way the priesthood relationship should function in the organizations of the church versus our marriage relationships. Apparently there must be some confusion going on in this area?

The office of an ELDER is the only office of the Priesthood that is Eternal. Note that even an Apostle does not hold any more priesthood than an Elder. We refer to Apostles as Elder........

Did anyone see the press conference with Elder Eyring and Elder Cook between General Conference last month. Elder Eyring was asked a question, something about differences in operations in the church and his Harvard experience? Something to this effect? I can't really recall the exact question...

What I do recall and what was just so beautiful was the way in which President Eyring described the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in coming to a decision. I noted that they actually used the pattern of the husband and wife and not the general church counsels.

The highest body in this church is truly as the Bride preparing herself for the Bridegroom and desiring above all else to be at ONE. I am not sure if it is still available at lds.org but I would watch this if you can find it. What a beautiful example of a Zion Society of pure hearts.

New Era Classic: 
Only an Elder

By Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85)
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Adapted from an October 1974 Regional Representatives seminar address.

Bruce R. McConkie, “Only an Elder,” New Era, Jan. 2003, 36

Someone asks: “What office do you hold in the Church? What is your priesthood position?” An answer comes: “Oh, I’m only an elder.”

Only an elder! Only the title by which a member of the Council of the Twelve is proud to be addressed; only the title which honors the President of the Church, who is designated by revelation as the first elder (see D&C 20:2); only the office to which millions of persons are ordained in the vicarious ordinances of the holy temples.

Only an elder! Only the office which enables a man to enter the new and everlasting covenant of marriage and to have his wife and children bound to him with an everlasting tie; only the office which prepares a man to be a natural patriarch to his posterity and to hold dominion in the house of Israel forever; only the office required for the receipt of the fulness of the blessings in the house of the Lord; only the office which opens the door to eternal exaltation in the highest heaven of the celestial world, where man becomes as God is.

Only an elder! Only a person ordained to preach the gospel, build up the kingdom, and perfect the Saints.

Every elder in the Church holds as much priesthood as the President of the Church. No Apostle can or will rise higher in eternity than the faithful elder who lives the fullness of the gospel law.

Ministers of Jesus Christ

What is an elder? An elder is a minister of the Lord Jesus Christ. He holds the holy Melchizedek Priesthood. He is commissioned to stand in the place and stead of his Master—who is the Chief Elder—in ministering to his fellowmen. He is the Lord’s agent. His appointment is to preach the gospel and perfect the Saints.

What is an elder? He is a shepherd, a shepherd serving in the sheepfold of the Good Shepherd. It is written: “And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men, and I am your God, saith the Lord God” (Ezek. 34:31). It is also written, and that by Peter, the first elder in his day: “The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, …

“Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;

“Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.

“And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away” (1 Pet. 5:1–4). Know this: elders, who are standing ministers in the Lord’s kingdom, are appointed to feed the flock of God, to take the oversight of the flock, to be examples to the flock.

The Lord’s representative

What is an elder? “And now come, saith the Lord, by the Spirit, unto the elders of his church, and let us reason together, …

“Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question—unto what were ye ordained?

“To preach my gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which was sent forth to teach the truth” (D&C 50:10, 13–14).

An elder is the Lord’s representative sent forth to teach His gospel for the salvation of men.

Who can measure the worth, the infinite worth, of a soul, a soul for whom Christ died?

Every elder is needed

The Church has need of every elder. None can be spared. The Church must be perfected and the gospel taught to every creature. There is no way to teach the gospel to more than 6 billion people without more missionaries.

“Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.

“And he that reapeth receiveth wages” (John 4:35–36).

“Behold, the field is white already to harvest; therefore, whoso desireth to reap, let him thrust in his sickle with his might, and reap while the day lasts, that he may treasure up for his soul everlasting salvation in the kingdom of God” (D&C 6:3).

“And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father” (D&C 15:6).

An eternal office

Let us now, however, return to our theme, which is: “Brethren, what think ye of the office of an elder?” Only an elder! Only the office held by apostles and prophets in this life; only the office that they will have when they come forth in immortal glory and enter into their exaltation; only the open door to peace in this life and a crown of glory in the life to come.

Only an elder! Only an elder in time and in eternity! What are we to understand by the four and twenty elders, spoken of by John? The revealed answer: “We are to understand that these elders whom John saw, were elders who had been faithful in the work of the ministry and were dead” (D&C 77:5). Now, let us hear the words which John wrote relative to those who were faithful elders while in this life and who are exalted elders in the realms ahead:

“Behold, a door was opened in heaven: … “And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.

“And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment; and they had on their heads crowns of gold” (Rev. 4:1–2, 4).

Only an elder! “They had on their heads crowns of gold.” Moses prayed, “Would God that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them!” (Num. 11:29). Well might we pray: “Would God that all the elders among the Lord’s people would be faithful, that they would feed the flock of God, that they would take the oversight of the flock, that they would be examples to the flock—all to the honor and glory of that God whose ministers they are.”

Gospel topic: priesthood

© 2006 Intellectual Reserve, Inc.  All rights reserved.

[avatar4321]

Not to be confrontational at all, but was it really necessary to copy and paste the entire "Only an Elder" talk on here? I mean we already have an entire thread devoted to the talk...