Oy...

[MikeUpton]

As for work, I have my own business doing wedding videos. I can't really hit on my clients unless I am willing not to work anymore!

Oh well, c'est la vie.

P-Worm

I finally got what you were saying. It made me laugh.

[Islander]

"Old, single adult"...LOL now sounded funny. Set up a blog and link to LDS.net and other LDS sites, including single/dating sites.

Of course, you can always ask here and those old married folk can try and put our two cents in.

[jmcic]

well i ma a recent convert i have been a member for 7 or 8 months now and i know that Heavnly father has someone out there for me but... i feel im not very appealing to the sight lol and well even though i may be a temple worthy priesthood holder i still find it difcult to find someone. i had had a bit of a crush on a rm a sis from our ward that went home and i told he and well u get the picture "i like u but just as a friend" my friend jeani another RM tells me to be paient and let God mold me and i agree but a wats wrong with me and or what am i doing wrong

[bmy-]

well i ma a recent convert i have been a member for 7 or 8 months now and i know that Heavnly father has someone out there for me but... i feel im not very appealing to the sight lol and well even though i may be a temple worthy priesthood holder i still find it difcult to find someone. i had had a bit of a crush on a rm a sis from our ward that went home and i told he and well u get the picture "i like u but just as a friend" my friend jeani another RM tells me to be paient and let God mold me and i agree but a wats wrong with me and or what am i doing wrong

Judging from your profile.. and the comments on there -- you're doing nothing wrong with the exception of your (what seems to be) lack of confidence.

It's just my opinion.. but learn how to be confident. Even if you aren't confident.. fake it. It goes further than you can imagine.

EDIT: I'm a recent convert too. March 23 for me.

[jmcic]

Judging from your profile.. and the comments on there -- you're doing nothing wrong with the exception of your (what seems to be) lack of confidence.

It's just my opinion.. but learn how to be confident. Even if you aren't confident.. fake it. It goes further than you can imagine.

EDIT: I'm a recent convert too. March 23 for me.

jan 27th 2008

[bmy-]

jan 27th 2008

You beat me! I bet I was taking the discussions before you (Hah! Like that's a good thing..)

It took around 6 months discussions, 1 year attending twice a month or so.

[jmcic]

well Heaveanly father does amazing things in his own time if he can change me he can change anybody

[Spacemecha]

I have an incident I want to share and get input on.

There is this girl I really like. I've gone out on dates with her over the last few months, and hung out with her, and got to the point where I realized I liked her a lot and decided, I wanted to see if she was the one I wanted to marry. So finally after that realization, I was ready to jump in, and a mutual friend, her best friend, said wait a week till you get back from a week of work travel out of state. I did, got back and found another guy had started dating the week before I had left. I was reluctant at that point to do anything as I didn't know what level of relationship they were operating at, whether it was serious or just for fun. This was three weeks ago.

I then picked up a new hobby of jewelry making, due to the seashells I brought back from Florida which is where I went. Which was convenient because that's one of her talents. So I asked her about how to do some stuff, and she invited me over to her house where we spent last friday with me learning and improving my skills. We talked of some things, and I learned that it wasn't serious between them and that she wasn't going to take it anywhere, and my hope blossomed. So I'm in the know and I can move forward with that.

Well, the next day at the saturday session of stake conference. The guy who was dating her sat next to me. In a deadpan voice, he said that he almost had a fit of jealous rage for the amount of time I had spent with the girl on friday.

It freaked me out. The first thought that popped into my mind was don't hurt me. This is due to past experience growing up and dealing with people and their wants. I stayed silent for a few minutes and then turned to the guy on the left of me and started a conversation with him. I then learned that he likes the girl a lot also, and has fallen for her hard as I was told, and I just don't want to get hurt, and I don't like getting threatened, and if it was in jest, I couldn't tell. I have a hard time telling when people are joking when I usually have no reason to disbelieve them, and it was a poor joke if it was one.

It really upset me.

And I don't know what to do.

[bmy-]

Talk to him about it I suppose. I've used the term 'jealous rage' before and I honestly had no violence in mind -- I was just.. unable to think of anything else.

I suppose.. i've been dating my girl for near 2 years now.. my jealous rages are probably slightly different.

Anyways.. talk to him (and her) about it.

[Islander]

I have an incident I want to share and get input on.

There is this girl I really like. I've gone out on dates with her over the last few months, and hung out with her, and got to the point where I realized I liked her a lot and decided, I wanted to see if she was the one I wanted to marry. So finally after that realization, I was ready to jump in, and a mutual friend, her best friend, said wait a week till you get back from a week of work travel out of state. I did, got back and found another guy had started dating the week before I had left. I was reluctant at that point to do anything as I didn't know what level of relationship they were operating at, whether it was serious or just for fun. This was three weeks ago.

It really upset me.

And I don't know what to do.

Obviously you need a reality check in terms of how you visualize this relationship. My guess is that it is a lot more serious for you than it is for her. If such is the case, it appears that you imagined a large portion of the relationship when in fact she is not on the same frequency. She went out with another guy regardless of how it would have made you feel. That points to the fact that she, either does not care how you feel, or she does not believe it matters to you that much. Whatever the case, it is obvious that she does not consider her relationship with you serious enough. It is likely that the romantic inclination is ONLY on your side and she is not on teh same fequency.

Obviously you two have spoken very little about what matters to you and your interest. Either you are too young and have not reached a level of communication skill capable of

mature dialogue, or you have fantasized so much about this girl that you have lost all perspective. I would be direct and explicit and inquire about her thoughts and feelings towards you. I think if you ask her to be honest (you may not get the answer you want) you can gain the insight you need to bring some certainty to the situation. Just my thoughts.

Good luck brother

[Spacemecha]

Obviously you need a reality check in terms of how you visualize this relationship. My guess is that it is a lot more serious for you than it is for her. If such is the case, it appears that you imagined a large portion of the relationship when in fact she is not on the same frequency. She went out with another guy regardless of how it would have made you feel. That points to the fact that she, either does not care how you feel, or she does not believe it matters to you that much. Whatever the case, it is obvious that she does not consider her relationship with you serious enough. It is likely that the romantic inclination is ONLY on your side and she is not on teh same fequency.

Obviously you two have spoken very little about what matters to you and your interest. Either you are too young and have not reached a level of communication skill capable of

mature dialogue, or you have fantasized so much about this girl that you have lost all perspective. I would be direct and explicit and inquire about her thoughts and feelings towards you. I think if you ask her to be honest (you may not get the answer you want) you can gain the insight you need to bring some certainty to the situation. Just my thoughts.

Good luck brother

I was only at the level of getting to know her, and I like her a lot. We have talked about how we feel, and I like her to the point where I would like to see if I wanted/was ready to marry her. But we weren't dating exclusively. Neither one of us were. I think that I may have a different way of describing what happened then what you would use so there is some miscommunication on my part. I could have just posted what the guy said with less background. Perhaps to much information is a bad thing in this case. I do believe I knew what I was doing and I wasn't over or underestimating how much I like her nor made up any ideas as to what level we were going on. But that's secondary to what I posted about.

What bothers me was that someone else I thought I knew was angry or almost angry that I enjoyed some time with a very good friend. I don't get it. I really don't.

[Islander]

I was only at the level of getting to know her, and I like her a lot. We have talked about how we feel, and I like her to the point where I would like to see if I wanted/was ready to marry her. But we weren't dating exclusively. Neither one of us were..

My young brother, forget about "the other guy" and concentrate on the issue at hand. I admit I am no Dr Phil and my style is less than diplomatic but here it goes.

Marrying someone and holding on to her/him and the covenant for all times and eternity as a family is the most important yet most difficult decision and task we will ever carry out. We must have done some serious due diligence, prior to that, and ALL possible and within our reach to ascertain from our Heavenly Father if this person that occupies our thoughts is indeed our eternal companion.

Based on what you described, you are seriously infatuated with her, certainly attracted to her and desire to move to the next level. One small problem; she is clearly not aware of it!!! If she is dating others is a clear indication that she does not feel the same way about you. Are you dating others? You have spent some time together but the feelings that you expressed do not seemed reciprocated by her. Asking her to marry you most likely would come as a surprise to her. She has not demonstrated the same level of interest in you which indicates that she is not there yet. You would have dated exclusively for some time and actually wrapped around each other for a while and then you would propose. That is not the case here. In fact, I suggest that if you were really close friend you would have known more about her than you actually do. After all you know exactly who your friends are dating and what their intentions are and how they feel. You seem to be at a loss when it comes to the reality of this girl, regardless of how you feel about her.

I suspect you are quite young. You must sharpen your dating and communication skills in order to ascertain with some clarity where the relationship is, (if such exist as a mutually perceived connection) and where it is headed.

I wonder what would happen if you have a solid dialogue with her?

Edited September 12, 2008 by Islander

[MoeWymer]

Sorry Spacemecha but I agree with islander It's a major problem I find with dating Mormon guys, the whole communication thing is very confusing. You need to sit down and be pretty straight with her, because I'm telling you now, she's clueless to your feelings for her. Look at it this way, at least once you know you definately know how to take the next step.

Good Luck!

[aclaire11]

My problem is mainly meeting boys my age. I'm 19, in my last year of high school (I had to repeat a year when I transferred to a prep school), and the boys in my ward are all 16 or younger. Except for the missionaries, who are obviously off-limits. There are a few singles wards that I could get a ride to, but I'm not supposed to leave campus/the surrounding town, especially with people that aren't teachers or my parents. I'm hoping that I'll have a student ward nearby when I go to college, but some of the places I'm applying to are in very small towns, aka the middle of nowhere.

[Maxel]

Honesty really is the best policy.

Personally, I'm very go-getter when it comes to dating: I develop a friendship with a girl, I ask her out on one to two dates, and if it goes well I tell her how wonderful I think she is and tell her I plan to continue asking her out/ask her to go steady with me. Very blunt, but the ladies appreciate it. Plus, it helps stave off unnecessary hurt later. It also helps preserve all the healthy elements of friendship without causing lingering worry/pain.

I'm also one of those guys who refuses to kiss a girl for the first time without asking her, so take my experience with a grain of salt.

By the way, this is the only dating method that netted me a worthwhile, long-term relationship. It also helped me avoid growing too attached to a girl that thought of me 'as a brother' (which is girl lingo for 'I don't like you' )

[sweetandsour]

Honesty really is the best policy.

Personally, I'm very go-getter when it comes to dating: I develop a friendship with a girl, I ask her out on one to two dates, and if it goes well I tell her how wonderful I think she is and tell her I plan to continue asking her out/ask her to go steady with me. Very blunt, but the ladies appreciate it. Plus, it helps stave off unnecessary hurt later. It also helps preserve all the healthy elements of friendship without causing lingering worry/pain.

I'm also one of those guys who refuses to kiss a girl for the first time without asking her, so take my experience with a grain of salt.

:)

oh my gosh why cant all guys be like u. i had a guy do all the take me out on dates and keep taking me out on dates held my hand cuddeld with me and then out of no where poof he ignores me. i hate guys who do that. i girl likes to know whats going on so ya i agree with maxel. if u really like the girl tell her. dont pretend like u do and then drop her

[Soulsearcher]

Wish you could find a guy like that sweet, too bad no one ya know is like that

[Maxel]

oh my gosh why cant all guys be like u.

Because I am one in a billion. And when I get all my emotional problems sorted out, there won't be a woman alive who could resist my old-fashioned, debonair persona.

[NewGirl2LDS]

oh my gosh why cant all guys be like u. i had a guy do all the take me out on dates and keep taking me out on dates held my hand cuddeld with me and then out of no where poof he ignores me. i hate guys who do that. i girl likes to know whats going on so ya i agree with maxel. if u really like the girl tell her. dont pretend like u do and then drop her

Seriously there are way to many guys like this and it is just so wrong...I wish they would be upfront...

[desert_fox]

^My guess is that those kinds of guys either a)don't know what they want from a friendship/relationship or b)aren't all that emotionally mature, or both..

...or something like that

I tend to be pretty up front with my intentions like Maxel, because if I want to see about having a relationship with a woman, communication/openness is a good place to start.

[Soulsearcher]

oh my gosh why cant all guys be like u. i had a guy do all the take me out on dates and keep taking me out on dates held my hand cuddeld with me and then out of no where poof he ignores me. i hate guys who do that. i girl likes to know whats going on so ya i agree with maxel. if u really like the girl tell her. dont pretend like u do and then drop her

Honestly it doesn't seem to matter. there's enough guys like this and the girls don't want them any ways. they have them, don't want them and then complain, so does it really matter?