Views on marriage?

[WANDERER]

***

[WillowTheWhisp]

From what I've been taught, if you don't marry you can't achieve exaltation in the highest degree of glory but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to settle for the first available marriage partner. I've told my girls to look for someone they can go to the temple with and be sealed to for eternity.

[Guest tomk]

Only married couples will live with God the Father.

From D&C 132:

15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.

16 Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.

17 For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever.

18 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that covenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.

19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

20 Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.

21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory.

Keep in mind, this is BY CHOICE. Nobody will be surprised or disappointed or any other imagined "caught unawares" scenario that we might think.

Everything we will receive will be because of our conscious choice to OBEY CHRIST and receive what He promises us.

[kjetiltb]

Hi, Wanderer.

I'd like to stress the point that we all will be given a fair chance, either in this life or in the next - for some maybe in both - both to accept or reject the gospel, and to find a partner for the eternities.

[Brother Dorsey]

I'd like to know a bit more about this...

I came across the quote that the LDS Church teaches that marriage and family are an important part of progression both now and in the afterlife. So what happens then if you don't get married?

As an example....as a young boy you follow the Gospel, live worthy and receive the Priesthood, you turn 18, go to the Temple and go on a mission for 2 years, right after you return home you get into a car accident and die BEFORE you had a chance to meet and marry a worthy LDS woman.

Sounds bad according to LDS doctrine huh?

However the Lord has made a provision for this and all the other reasons for not being married in the Temple.

Going back to the story....that returned missionary who died will get the chance to be married in the Temple of the Lord during the millennium to a woman who didn't get her chance during life. All will have the opportunity during this time. Those who suffered mental and physical illnesses during their lives which caused them to not find a spouse, those whom died early, those whom never had the opportunity. They will be resurrected during the millennium whether in the beginning (morning), middle or end and will have the opportunity.

Pretty cool huh? We sure have a fair and loving God don't we?

[RachelleDrew]

Yes, according to scripture you need to marry in order to be as close to the father as possible.

But.

If you don't marry in this life, you can always marry in the next. God offers us that chance. Remember, Paul never married while on the physical earth, and he was a better Christian than most people I know. But whose to say he didn't once he entered the kingdom?

While marriage is a priority for us as Christians, it's not the ONLY priority. There may be extenuating circumstances or other issues that prevent us from marrying on earth. Which is why God offers us the chance to find a mate after we pass away.

I don't see the point in pushing people towards marriage. Unless that person is ready and capable for marriage, they are just asking for a world of trouble.

God will tell you when you are ready to be with another person for eternity. That may be while in this life, it may be in the next life. : )

[NateHowe]

Honestly, the responsibility to be married in this life is more heavily placed on the men than the women. If you look around at the ratio of righteous priesthood holders to righteous women, this makes sense. However, this does not mean women shouldn't pursue marriage - it just means that it's definitely a guy's responsibility to seek eternal marriage to the right person.

[a-train]

Woah,

I cannot let any false doctrine slip through here. One does NOT need to be sealed (married) to live in the presence of the Father.

The blessings only obtainable through sealing (marriage) are those specifically listed in the scriptures, entrance into the presence of the Father is NOT contingent on sealing.

Now, the burden of the provision of an eternal companion is completely the LORD's. For father Adam, it was the LORD that provided him a companion. Are we any different? The LORD intends for us to have a companion if we will accept one, and only He can provide. We must take His direction in determining whether a possible companion has been offered us by the LORD.

For those who have not been able to obtain such a companion within mortality, they will have that opportunity before resurrection and judgment. We need not fear, the matter is in the LORD's hands.

-a-train

[NateHowe]

I cannot let any false doctrine slip through here. One does NOT need to be sealed (married) to live in the presence of the Father.

The blessings only obtainable through sealing (marriage) are those specifically listed in the scriptures, entrance into the presence of the Father is NOT contingent on sealing.

True. Well put.

Now, the burden of the provision of an eternal companion is completely the LORD's. For father Adam, it was the LORD that provided him a companion. Are we any different? The LORD intends for us to have a companion if we will accept one, and only He can provide. We must take His direction in determining whether a possible companion has been offered us by the LORD.

For those who have not been able to obtain such a companion within mortality, they will have that opportunity before resurrection and judgment. We need not fear, the matter is in the LORD's hands.

It is true that the Lord is the one who provides the companion, but as with all blessings, we also must seek and accept them. The burden of provision falls on Him for all things, but the burden of acting on that provided blessing is squarely OURS. And in this case, men have additional responsibilities.

[WANDERER]

Nate, I appreciate the difficulties of the ratio aspect and I had realised there was a 'numbers' problem.

I think I have come across the word "Exultation" or living in the presence of the Father?

[MichaelPAGuy]

Some people never get to meet that special someone. I have a question, men are suppose to replenish the earth. I love my girlfriend and even though she doesn't want anything to do with the church, someday I still hope to marry her, she is no longer able to have kids(she has 3 already), as she had her tubes tied. What are the church's views on marrying a non-member and marrying someone who is no longer able to have kids?

[NateHowe]

There is no official stance on marrying someone who cannot have children. There is a stance on marrying outside the covenant, because marriage anywhere but the Temple is not eternal.

[Iggy]

There is no official stance on marrying someone who cannot have children. There is a stance on marrying outside the covenant, because marriage anywhere but the Temple is not eternal.

So what is the Church going to do to you if you marry outside of the church? Say the man is endowed and he marries outside the church. Or they were married, he joined later, she refused, he went and got his endowments. What is the Church going to do?

[NateHowe]

The short answer is nothing. You are free to do it. However, the promise of an eternal family does not apply to such a marriage, so you are effectually punishing yourself.

[Iggy]

The short answer is nothing. You are free to do it. However, the promise of an eternal family does not apply to such a marriage, so you are effectually punishing yourself.

No you are not, because the non-member spouse could join later in life.

I know so many couples who have spouses who are not members. These marriages are loving and giving. The spouses go to Church functions, support their spouses in their callings, etc.

In each case, when the non-member spouse passes on, then the surviving spouse and their children do all the saving ordinances for them.

Just because they are not members of the Church does not mean they are not good and righteous people. Just because they are not members of the Church at the time they get married, does not mean they are not good and righteous people, or that they may never join the church.

Your statement is a very judgmental one. It could also be seen as a condemning one too.

[WANDERER]

And on the other hand, they may not believe in eternal marriage if they are not LDS.

[NateHowe]

I am not saying that change is impossible, but I am saying that if eternal marriage is a priority, it is unwise to marry someone with whom you cannot make that covenant.

[Guest Malcolm]

No you are not, because the non-member spouse could join later in life.

I know so many couples who have spouses who are not members. These marriages are loving and giving. The spouses go to Church functions, support their spouses in their callings, etc.

In each case, when the non-member spouse passes on, then the surviving spouse and their children do all the saving ordinances for them.

Just because they are not members of the Church does not mean they are not good and righteous people. Just because they are not members of the Church at the time they get married, does not mean they are not good and righteous people, or that they may never join the church.

Your statement is a very judgmental one. It could also be seen as a condemning one too.

Although it is normal and to a certain extent desirable, our optimistic view of the celestial kingdom blinds us to some of the harsh reality that perhaps awaits us. Not hearking to the word of God when truth is presented to us so that we become aware of it is actually rebellion. We may be polite and gentle when we refuse the Gospel after it has been unfolded before us. Good manners will not decrease in the least the fact that if we had a lifetime of exposure to the Gospel but we refused because we were unwilling to give up our sins we will have to account for it.

I am trying to be careful here as to avoid arousing animosity, but it is the same as saying "I know it is true but I like to...(drink, smoke, go to strip joints with the boys once a month or whatever) and I do not agree with the church in ...so I am a good person and I will accompany my dear wife to every function in church and support her but as far as me, no thanks." Or thinking that "I will repent later and God will have to forgive me."

The issue here is not the love that the non-member has or how good of a spouse he/she is. The issue is how much they know and why they refused the Gospel of Salvation. Second chances in the spirit world relate to judgment based on how much they knew while on the earth. There is also no evidence that the same hardheaded spirit will accept the Gospel in teh spirit world. For this is the time to be proven and, difficult to conceived as it is, we must heed to the words of the prophets:

" 31 Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the bday of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.

• • •

33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

34 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful acrisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." Alma 34: 31-34

[NateHowe]

Essentially, since a change cannot be guaranteed, by marrying a person who is not willing to make eternal covenants, there is a significant risk. At some future time (if not at present), the most difficult questions may require an answer: Do I love this person more than the Lord? Will I choose God's will or my spouse's affection?

All I know is that because my wife and I started out on the same spiritual page, anything I do to grow closer to God also brings me closer to her. I desire that joy for every couple.

[MichaelPAGuy]

Thank you very much for all of your replies. This is definitely something to think about. If I want to marry her or not.

[batjerk]

I think I have come across the word "Exultation" or living in the presence of the Father?

Exaltation is living in the presence of the Father, or more correctly, "receiving all that the Father hath." "To raise in rank, power, honor, character, etc." Exultation is a joyous outburst, or the like. "To rejoice exceedingly, be highly elated or jubilant".

I'm sure those who are exalted will exult.

[Hemidakota]

If you don't marry in this life, you can always marry in the next. God offers us that chance. Remember, Paul never married while on the physical earth, and he was a better Christian than most people I know. But whose to say he didn't once he entered the kingdom?

If one is given the opportunity and thus does not follow through, what do you think will happen to that person?

If you are referring to 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, I would beg to differ on whether or not Paul was married. There is indication he was. It is culture customary in not revealing the names of there beloved spouses within the gospel text. Example the Savior, Peter, James, John and so forth; even within the Book of Mormon. Now, in being an Apostle of the Lord, witness and exemplary of the same, his teachings prove otherwise. Look at 1 Timothy 4:1-3, 1 Corth 11:11, and so forth. This man had seen the Celestial kingdom and know to enter therein, he would have that eternal companion by his side.

[Hemidakota]

No you are not, because the non-member spouse could join later in life.

I know so many couples who have spouses who are not members. These marriages are loving and giving. The spouses go to Church functions, support their spouses in their callings, etc.

In each case, when the non-member spouse passes on, then the surviving spouse and their children do all the saving ordinances for them.

Just because they are not members of the Church does not mean they are not good and righteous people. Just because they are not members of the Church at the time they get married, does not mean they are not good and righteous people, or that they may never join the church.

Your statement is a very judgmental one. It could also be seen as a condemning one too.

That is a subjectiveness statement and I don't think it was his intention to say she or he was unworthy.

If one has the opportunity in this world and not following through, he stands correct. You are only slowing your own eternal progress to an 'grinding' halt since you cannot reside in the presence of the Father and His son at that given moment. The chances of her or him joining in the next life will have its problems already since that individual is not going to join in this mortality as a [eternal] companion. [Observation] I would not expect that uniion to happen in the eternal world. Now, if he or she who is faithful here and the other is not, in the end the marriage will be consummated. As eternal companions, they will cherish each other forever.

[Guest Malcolm]

Friends:

There are things that MUST be done on the earth since the Lord has planted you in the most fertile part of the vineyard. We are saved by grace thru faith after ALL we can do. I doubt your definition of "all" compares with the Lord's. That is a very delicate subject and I do not desire to argue that point.

If we do not repent here, there will be no time once we find ourselves across the veil. If we have received the fullness of the Gospel while on the earth it is dependent on US to secure entrance into the kingdom of God and exaltation. Again, sometimes WE think we have done enough but only the Lord will be the judge of that and what can we say for ourselves when we are brought before the all searching eye of Lord?

And yes, there is indeed enough evidence to suggest that Paul did have a "true yoke fellow." All the other Apostles were married, after all.

Just a thought

[Hemidakota]

Exaltation is living in the presence of the Father, or more correctly, "receiving all that the Father hath." "To raise in rank, power, honor, character, etc." Exultation is a joyous outburst, or the like. "To rejoice exceedingly, be highly elated or jubilant".

I'm sure those who are exalted will exult.

However, there is a deeper meaning here to have that eternal 'oneness' or 'a zion like' marriage to what is in the beginning that the FATHER is seeking. Going back to the meaning of the RIB - the term MAN & WOMAN.

Perhaps, it is something that is not revelant for our own salvation. Just rambling.