What are your guidelines for purchasing modest clothing?

[Guest Leeanntheone]

I am so sorry Aphrodite if I judged you wrong. Many of the ladies on this forum including myself are trying to live a life of modesty in the way we dress. It's getting harder to be a women who represents our faith in a world that is demanding that we conform to it's standard. I believe women must rise up in places of leadership if we are going to change our world.

much love,

Leeann;)

[BusyMom]

Rachel:

Check out Ann Taylor Loft's sale rack while you are shopping. I have had very good luck with their clothes. How far postpartum are you and are you breastfeeding? I ask because this will affect your shape. It is hard to dress modestly in this day and age. I wear scrubs to work and actually I love them. They are modest, comfy, and easy to match!!! Wish I could wear them all the time, it's so much easier. I love capris in the summer. I also have to wear camisoles underneath the majority of my tops because of bust size. Have a great shopping trip and have fun!!! Try on and find things you absolutely LOVE!!! And congratulations on your new baby boy!

Jamie

[Tough Grits]

Well, for me dressing modestly is not an issue.

I am curvy, so I already tend to look for things that DO NOT bring attention to my hips/bust/butt. LOL LOL

I am also an endowed member, so my garments also keep me wearing clothing that is not immodest. I do not like my upper arms, so I try to avoid shirts that only have a cap sleeve.

As far as skirts go, I found some really nice moleskin skirts from Chadwick's. I am petite (short, not skinny...LOL) and Chadwick's has sizes for ALL figures. They have petites, plus, and tall. Not only can I find pants and skirts in petite, but they make many of their shirts in petite sizes as well. This mostly matters for blazers and long sleeved shirts, as wearing regular sized blazers and long-sleeved shirts are too long on my shorter arms.

I hate pantyhose. But I found myself always wearing barely-there sandals to Church every Sunday. I just began to feel uncomfortable wearing such casual shoes with my Sunday dress clothing. Plus, my niece was preparing for her mission at that time, and she was required to have 12 (I think) or more pairs of pantyhose at all times as part of her mission attire. That got me to thinking.

So, I made a commitment to start wearing pantyhose on Sundays to see if it would change anything for me. I found that I started wearing my dressier shoes with my Sunday attire, which lead me to find clothing more conservative and less miss-ish. As I was 26, newly married and a new mom, I was glad for a change from my miss-ish days into a more mature (without being DULL or matronly) style.

I don't wear pantyhose every Sunday any more. But with my ankle length skirts from Chadwick's I don't have to. Nobody can see whether my legs are shaved or not, and knee-highs work quite well with my dressy shoes.

Now, as far as my children are concerned...my husband and I have adopted the following standard for our home:

What is not appropriate for us (as endowed members) is also not appropriate for our children.

Neither my son or daughter wear tank tops. My daughter does not wear sleeveless sundresses, and if she does it is with a tee underneath. My son wears dress shirt and tie on Sundays and my daughter wears dresses and dress shoes.

Not everybody in my own family agrees with the fact that I do not allow my children to wear tank tops, or that I do not allow my daughter to wear sleeveless blouses and/or dresses, and that her dresses need to touch her knees.

But that is okay. I do not impose my standards on anybody else. My husband and I made this decision together, and as long as we feel comfortable with our standards then it does not matter what others think.

Our reasons for such standards in our children's attire is practical and logical...at least to us. LOL

1. It is more time consuming to have two different standards of dress in our home. One standard of dress is easier on me when it comes to purchasing clothes.

2. We are to teach our children from an early age about good choices, the gospel, honesty, love, etc. Just as we would not wait until they are 18 to start having Family Home Evening, or wait until they are in High School to talk about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes...then why would I wait until they are teenagers to teach them modesty?

3. If my daughter grows up knowing and following our own personal standards that we have set in our home, then it will not be something that I have to suddenly teach her when she is an impressionable teen looking at all the immodest clothing in stores.

4. If my son always wears a tie and dress shirt to Church, then it will not be something that I have to suddenly teach him when he is old enough to pass the sacrament.

We are not wealthy. So we have found that hand-me-downs from other members have truly saved us. I make sure to return the favor by passing on my children's clothing to other members when they have out-grown them.

I also buy much of their clothes at Wal-Mart. Down here in Georgia, the Wal-Marts have dress shirt combos that come with matching ties. They only cost $10. I bought several shirt/ties in various colors for my son. Not only does he now have quite a nice tie collection, but the shirts are good quality. Also, Sears has a school uniform section on-line. They sell ties in all colors and sizes for only $3.00. You can't beat three bucks for a nice tie in solids or plaids.

Also, I always buy clothes one size bigger. If I buy their exact size the clothes MAY last six months. But if I buy one size bigger, then they can last up to a year or longer. For the Sunday clothing, which tends to be more expensive and hard to find, this is a true gem.

We all have the opportunity to receive personal revelation from Heavenly Father that will help us and guide us.

But personal revelation is just that...personal. Some things are doctrine, and cannot be twisted to suit our own purposes. But some things are left up to our own wisdom and personal revelation, as we cannot and will not be directed in all things. We were sent here to prove ourselves herewith, and if we were told everything to do down to the most minute degree...then where would our own personal valiancy and choice come into play?

The best answer to any question: ask God and then follow His counsel.

~TG

[Truegrits]

I like the layered look, and it happens to be "in". The deep V fashion is easily remedied by my layering a cami under. I have a cami in every color, so I am 'covered' no matter how low the neck plunges...LOL I love wearing heels, so wearing panty hose just goes with them, for me. Church is always cold, so I appreciate having the extra layer. Sunday is the only day I "dress-up" so it is fun. I haven't found dressing modestly to be a problem...there is so much out there to choose from.

It is interesting, though, to see how others address the issue.

~~~Daune

[MorningStar]

Lol, In the USA we sometimes call stockings pantyhose and pantyhose stockings, they are interchangeable. I think maybe you were referring to me when you said why the hatred for make-up and tights. I do not hate pantyhose or make-up. I like the way I look with make-up on, I just don’t like to be told that it’s part of my job description. And the same goes for pantyhose. I am a very simple woman who up until just recently has wore hose and dresses only on occasion, like when I go to church. I am just saying I wear skirts six days a week now because I have to and I don’t like it all that much. That’s all.

Leeann

I hate make-up. By the end of the day, people ask me if I'm feeling OK because I have yet to meet a mascara that doesn't rub off under my eyes. It's annoying. Then on the news one day, they said make-up makes bacteria grow under your skin, so I stopped wearing it altogether except for when I'm singing in concerts. I don't miss it and I especially don't miss spending money on it. It helps that my husband hates make-up with a passion.

[MorningStar]

When it comes to modest clothing, I like tops that don't show anything when I bend forward or skirts that are long enough that they don't show my underwear when I sit down. (I've seen some women at church with this problem and I never know whether I should say something.)

[Aphrodite]

When it comes to modest clothing, I like tops that don't show anything when I bend forward or skirts that are long enough that they don't show my underwear when I sit down. (I've seen some women at church with this problem and I never know whether I should say something.)

im tall and slim which is sometimes just as hard to find clothes that fit. When I used to wear the garments and I bent over they would all show, and cause of the material, i was constantly having to hike my jeans up. Wearing three layers in summer made me sweat..yuk. Tops are never long enough for me no matter what style or what shop its from. It was just a constant losing battle. Im glad women who want to dress modestly have found the clothes that enable them to do so, as i certainly didnt. I never dared bend down just in case, so even my movement was restricted! Every day I would think and obsess about clothes-what was covering what, what would fit, what wouldnt rub/show/fall down.

What a nightmare!!!

[MorningStar]

Some women I know sell these shirts called "Modbe" (sp?) which are specifically for that problem. They are thin long shirts made to go under regular shirts and it's kind of the style right now. Lucky for me, I'm short and don't have a problem finding long shirts.

[MorningStar]

Actually, looks like they have some regular long shirts and you don't have to layer. It's www.modbeclothing.com

[Guest leeanntheonetoo]

im tall and slim which is sometimes just as hard to find clothes that fit. When I used to wear the garments and I bent over they would all show, and cause of the material, i was constantly having to hike my jeans up. Wearing three layers in summer made me sweat..yuk. Tops are never long enough for me no matter what style or what shop its from. It was just a constant losing battle. Im glad women who want to dress modestly have found the clothes that enable them to do so, as i certainly didnt. I never dared bend down just in case, so even my movement was restricted! Every day I would think and obsess about clothes-what was covering what, what would fit, what wouldnt rub/show/fall down.

What a nightmare!!!

What do you mean when you say I used to wear the garments. I think I know what you mean now when you say they would all show, sorry, but What are the garments? I am just not following your line of thought.

Leeann

[Guest Alana]

I think that if I was to have the missionaries and bishop over for diner, would I be comfortable in what I'm wearing? I have lots of clothes that are very flattering, things I like to wear on dates with my husband, but that are still modest. Something can be fitted without being too revealing. For me personally with my bust, as long as I'm not showing cleavage I'm comfortable.

[MommaBear]

Okay, so I'm fairly new to Mormonism. I'm a baptized member, but have not been active since I was 14 years-old (which was eons ago). There is still so much to be learned. I do not wear garments. My husband (who is not Mormon, nor is he sure he wants to become a member of the church in the future) and I were not married in the temple. My question is: even though you do not wear garments are you still held to the same guidelines as those who do? I'm sorry if it seems to be a silly question. I know that we are to wear modest clothing - and overall, I do. I do, however, wear sundresses and sleeveless shirts. I know I can layer, if need be, but I am also one who is going through the lovely stage of being cool one second and roasting the next. I prefer to wear cooler clothing. I don't ever think of myself as looking inappropriate, but I'm not sure if some of the clothing I wear might not considered to be modest enough. I love my sundresses - and I don't believe that if I were in the presence of the Lord he would deem me to be inappropriate in any way...but of course, I'm not totally sure of this. I know I have some changes to make - as in what I wear around the house during the hot summer months (shorts and tees, some tanks), for one. But overall, I wear dresses and skirts (with nice tee shirts). With my dresses, my shoulders show...but they fall below the knees...and most of them to the ankles. Are the shoulders totally out - regardless if you wear garments or not?

BTW, I believe one person on here is also a fan of Doc Martens. Two of my favorite pairs of shoes are good ol' Docs...and thankfully, I can work them into wearing clothing that is stylish - but still modest :)

Thanks, in advance, for your input!

[Islander]

Welcome back!! We love to have you again in our midst and hope to help you nurture and strengthen the Spirit that stirred in your heart the desire to return to the fold of The Lord.

I have some personal experience in the matter. My wife and I are both converts. She is from Arizona where it gets to be 130 degrees int the shade in summer. I endured for seven years and then I took her back to the cooler mountains of California and the land of my choosing....That is how we tell the story to our children. I actually threatened her with no marrying her if she would not forsake the desert/infernal/town where we lived and worked....hehehehe. More or less but you get the drift. As you can imagine, people over there do not wear a lot of clothing during those few months. So, it was an adjustment process after baptism.

The issue here is to reconcile your desire to be "cooler" which is actually impossible, with the Lord's counsel to be modest. For the sisters, in general, wearing modest clothing has nothing to do with the garments and everything to do with dressing the way the Lord would have His daughters dress. To be a "saint" means to be peculiar, different, separate, sacred, special,, in the most general sense. It is to value God's word and to be willing to uphold the covenant above the fads and trends of the world.

It makes no real difference in terms of physiology that your short pants and t-shirts are 3 inches longer. It will not make you any cooler. Also, you must avoid wearing stuff that could and does distract the brethren. And of course, upset the other sisters. I am kidding here but there are issues of sensibility that we must take into account.

Find a sister in the relief society presidency and talk to her about this issue. Pick the youngest one so you feel like a contemporary is sharing with you rather than the "more mature voice of experience" which you may feel tempted to resist because of being of a "different generation." At the end it comes down to your desire to live according to the Gospel and the counsel of His prophets. I hope this help a little.

Welcome back.

[MommaBear]

Thank you, Islander, for the welcome back - and for the insight you have provided for me. Deep down, I knew the answer. I guess I just had to either hear it or see it in print. It isan adjustment (just as it was, I am VERY sure, for your wife!), but one that is worth making in order to readjust my life to LDS ways; in order to feel closer to the Lord. I guess it's the same as giving up the occasional glass of red wine I have come to enjoy over the years :) To commit myself is to fully immerse myself into a lifestyle that is compatible with LDS doctrine/ways. I can still be an individual...and have my own style and personality...but just readjust it so that I can feel as if I am living the life the Lord desires for me. It's funny, too...my Dad is former LDS and he and I share many interests, one of them being wine tasting. I told him that I was revisiting Mormonism and it really piqued his interest. Instead of sharing a glass of wine recently, we shared LDS doctrine, discussing the Book of Mormon, etc. My Dad is a quiet man, but in sharing the gospel with eachother recently, it really opened up a whole new world of conversation between us - and I found that he still feels a pull towards the LDS church. Might be that he will join me for Sacrament sometime in the near future :)

Again, thank you. Guess I'll be throwing a tee shirt on underneath the sundresses I have on hand. You're right. I won't be any cooler in a tank top than I would wearing an extra tee under the dresses...and just adding that extra piece of clothing will make me feel more comfortable in ways that are much more important than wondering whether or not the dress is being worn the way in which the maker meant for it to be!

Tell your wife that you did a great thing here today. In sharing your (very cute) story, you reaffirmed something that I knew deep down, but had a tougher time accepting, because it would bring some added change to my life. Change can be tough - but in the long run, this type of change will bring so much joy to my life and life of my husband and kids. Plus, my husband is all for modesty anyway. He's not even LDS, but one of the reasons he fell in love with me (other than my charming personality, that is...only kidding...lol) was because I dressed more modestly. He said I dressed funky - but not in a way that was at all revealing or too seductive...and that he found that to be very attractive in a woman :) That was years ago - but I know he still feels the same way today!

Again, thanks for the welcome and the advice!

[Islander]

Your welcome MommaBear - Deep down and at a very primal level, YOU are the ONLY thing that you husband counts truly his. All men feel possessive and desire to guard their wives's "contour" for themselves. Some can externalize it some can't. Know that you are beautiful regardless and you need only ONE admirer and he is already a captive audience.

Love your dad and once you are ready and understand remind him what the Temple means for families and to you in particular. Have faith, the Lord's hand is never far away when our thoughts are constantly on Him. You will be surprised. Keep up the faith.

[Aphrodite]

What do you mean when you say I used to wear the garments. I think I know what you mean now when you say they would all show, sorry, but What are the garments? I am just not following your line of thought.

Leeann

The garments are the church authorised underwear you are supposed to wear when you've been through the temple. But I choose not to wear them as I feel that God wants more from me than being worried about what underwear I have on.

The issue here is to reconcile your desire to be "cooler" which is actually impossible, with the Lord's counsel to be modest

Thats what I was saying. So for some people who live in hot climates, heat is pure misery. And you think God wants this??? For you to be unhappy just to please his will???

It makes no real difference in terms of physiology that your short pants and t-shirts are 3 inches longer. It will not make you any cooler

Im afraid I have to disagree. A vest top makes you feel far more cooler than a t-shirt.

[Islander]

If being "cooler" is more important than the covenant you made at the Temple with God, what can I say? I am sad that you failed to recognize the importance of is after it has been given to you.

[breeb]

I just read the first page so I dont know if anyone has mentioned it, but you can check out The Mod Bod or Cover Wear. I think its www.themodbod.com and Coverwear :: Modest, less-revealing, t-shirts, long t-shirts, layering t-shirts, and under T’s. I love them! I always wear them under my shirt. They go tight against my body (but not immodestly....you can wear them alone) and if I'm not wearing one of their shirts I feel naked even though I'm completely covered.

Hope this helped....sorry if im repeating.....i didnt have time to read everyones response.

[steffy101]

I live in Florida...today it was 97 degrees..I am a newly endowed member(not a new member).I wore my garments today and was not any hotter than I was last year when I didn't wear them.Think of the saint women whos garments were from neck to wrist and down to the ankle.I remeber the covenants I made with my Father while I was in the temple and I would not be without my garments.This is just my pesonal opinion and not meant to offend anyone.And as far as fashion goes...the longer shorts are in style anyway.I haven't had any problem with finding stylish clothing.I also hate pantyhose and cannot remember the last time I wore them LOL.I try to keep my legs tanned so I don't have to LOL

[MorningStar]

As for the problem with garments hanging out, I went to a talent show last week and this lady's thong was hanging out of her jeans. What's her excuse? There have to be pants that cover thongs. She kept tugging the back of her shirt down in vain.

[Iggy]

I live in Florida...today it was 97 degrees..I am a newly endowed member(not a new member).I wore my garments today and was not any hotter than I was last year when I didn't wear them.Think of the saint women whos garments were from neck to wrist and down to the ankle.I remeber the covenants I made with my Father while I was in the temple and I would not be without my garments.This is just my pesonal opinion and not meant to offend anyone.And as far as fashion goes...the longer shorts are in style anyway.I haven't had any problem with finding stylish clothing.I also hate pantyhose and cannot remember the last time I wore them LOL.I try to keep my legs tanned so I don't have to LOL

It was 120 degrees yesterday where I live in Arizona. Add to that I am 56 and going through menopause and I am diabetic! I wear the drisilque, and I wear the longer leg bottoms so that the hems don't show a line when I wear pants/slacks. The looser the clothing, the easier it is to cool down.

My husband is overweight, has thyroid problems and he prefers the cotton/jersey ones. He works at ASU Central Plant, he keeps the AC/Heating running smoothly on campus. The Central Plant is the ONLY building that does NOT have AC. It was 100 degrees outside last night, it was 145 degrees inside the building. The cotton garments, his cotton t-shirt and cotton pants hold the sweat. When the fans blow the hot air around, it hits his wet with sweat clothes and that cools him.

I think that it is extremely immodest of the women in Church to wear tight clothes. I don't care that the clothes are layered, and that they cover the garments. They are too tight. Why don't they just use paint? It is the same result.

Modest means covering the body so that one does not see the bumps, wrinkles, indents, etc. of the body. You can still be alluring and pleasing to the eye without being Eye Candy.

My father told me that my clothes had to be long enough to cover the subject, yet not so short as to expose everything if I bent over from the waist.

When my father told me this, it was my 13th birthday -1965- at that time only my oldest brother was a member of the church!

Edited June 18, 2008 by Iggy
had to change my age, forgot I just had a birthday ;)

[RachelleDrew]

I've noticed that the high-necked shirts and dresses a la Victorian era are very "in" again. As are walking shorts.

Another thought, we mention clothing a lot in modesty discussion, but shouldn't makeup and jewelry be included as well? I've found that women can be covered head to toe but have on makeup that would make MiMi from the Drew Carey show blush. Would that not be considered a form of immodesty as well?

My husband made an interesting point yesterday too. Fetish shoes have kind of made their way into mainstream fashion and he said that every time he sees a girl in a pair of plastic, six-inch clear heels all he can think about is the pole she must dance on. :lol: .

[Aphrodite]

If being "cooler" is more important than the covenant you made at the Temple with God, what can I say? I am sad that you failed to recognize the importance of is after it has been given to you.

Dont be sad, Im not. Im happier.

[Guest Leeanntheonetwo]

I would like to wear temple garments everyday but it is not possible. I live in LA and we had a 108 degrees last week. If God is mad at me for not wearing Temple garments when it was too hot then maybe God doesn't understand. I think He does. Man made religion teaches us to obey, but God says rules were made for man, not man made for rules.

The Bible says that the letter of the word kills but the Spirit brings life to the word of God, the Bible.

We can follow rules of men or we can follow God's Spirit when we hear His voice.

God's voice must back up what is in our Bible or what we hear is just isn't true.

I don't wear my garments on hot days.

When I wear, a skirt, pantyhose, a slip, a camisole, a bra, a blouse, heels, make-up, earing's to work everyday. How is it possible to were temple garments too?

Leeann

[Truegrits]

When I wear, a skirt, pantyhose, a slip, a camisole, a bra, a blouse, heels, make-up, earing's to work everyday. How is it possible to were temple garments too?

Just wondering...does your place of work not have air-conditioning?