Can I be baptized???

[Bethie]

I would like to be baptized and join the church, I've been studying church history and doctrines for almost a year on my own. I am taking a CES class at a local stake.The "problem" is I share a house with my best friend, of the opposite gender.

We have been housemates for over 16 years. We have separate rooms and are not interested in being married or romantic with each other. We were both married to others in the past and don't want to repeat the experience. We are both seniors. He is 69 and I am 57. I am retired and dependent on his income, I cannot move out and support myself. I read in "Preach my Gospel", that you can't be baptized if you live with someone of the opposite gender. Is that true in ALL cases? I don't want to call the local missionaries or the local ward, if they are just going to tell me I have to move out to be baptized. At an open house for the Rexburg Temple, we did ask a young missionary there and she said emphatically, "You can't be baptized unless you move out." Is anyone here a bishop or someone "in authority" who could advise me on the actual rule. Thank you and God Bless!

[Guest GreenMum]

Um, I would get a second opinion from your bishop.

I have had plenty of friends who lived in co-ed housing and dorms and they were not told that they couldn't be members! They were all good and upstanding members. As long as you are just living in a "roommate" situation and are not romantically involved, I would talk to the bishop. :)

FWIW... my friend Joseph lived in an optometry house on campus all 4 years of his schooling and it was co-ed housing with girls and guys living on the same floors. He was never once questioned by the bishop for his living arrangements.

[Palerider]

my opinion......I would say no....you can't be baptised due to your living situation.....but as the other poster stated....be sure and ask your local Missionaries.

[Hemidakota]

I would like to be baptized and join the church, I've been studying church history and doctrines for almost a year on my own. I am taking a CES class at a local stake.The "problem" is I share a house with my best friend, of the opposite gender.

We have been housemates for over 16 years. We have separate rooms and are not interested in being married or romantic with each other. We were both married to others in the past and don't want to repeat the experience. We are both seniors. He is 69 and I am 57. I am retired and dependent on his income, I cannot move out and support myself. I read in "Preach my Gospel", that you can't be baptized if you live with someone of the opposite gender. Is that true in ALL cases? I don't want to call the local missionaries or the local ward, if they are just going to tell me I have to move out to be baptized. At an open house for the Rexburg Temple, we did ask a young missionary there and she said emphatically, "You can't be baptized unless you move out." Is anyone here a bishop or someone "in authority" who could advise me on the actual rule. Thank you and God Bless!

That is correct with the statement presented in the "Preach My Gospel". Missionaries will tell you the same.

Bishops and Stake Presidents will work with you as a member in finding another solution to your problem. We are all the GOD's children and are here to care for each other.

[mickeyb]

I definately would speak with a Bishop, I spoke with part of the Bishopbric. Your age, the fact that you have lived or should I say co-habitated with one another separately for all these years. The financial issue, etc.

Please go speak with a Bishop and just see what they have to say, then you will know for sure.

I pray that all will go well. We would love to have you as part of our faith.

Much love, Mickey

[Palerider]

the reason I said missionaries is that you will have to be taught by them and they will ask their Mission President as to whether or not you can be baptised.

[WillowTheWhisp]

The 'living together' rule is actually about the law of chastity though isn't it? How would it be for a brother and sister living together? Or the case of elderly friends of mine where an unmarried sister lived with her sister and brother in law then the married sister died leaving the widower and his sister in law 'living together' ? Neither of those couples are breaking the law of chastity nor have any desire to do so.

We had an elderly friend who was very ill and housebound. A neighbour would often go in and cook a meal for her in the evenings and stay with her to watch TV or read to her, then he would leave to go to his own home. Her Bishop threatened her with excommunication as he said the relationship was 'suspect'. The poor woman was too ill to do anything immoral. She has since died.

[Lloyd]

Absolutely, go see the bishop in your area, explain the circumstances, and don't be upset if the answer is not exactly to your liking. There is a solution, perhaps in having another sister move in with you. I, on a personal note cannot see the problem with being baptized when it is strictly a plutonic, almost necessary living circumstance. However I can't be considered as an authority. Check with your bishop. He will probably have an answer, but in the event he doesn't, see if he will check with the stake president.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Is it down to the Bishop though? Someone said earlier that it's up to the Mission President.

[Hemidakota]

Willow, as mortal men, we are still imperfect beings and at times, require chastisement. There been occasions where my wife would confide in me on my own omissions of wrongful move. As I already alluded too in another thread, we need to follow the whispering of the Spirit vice the strict enforcement of the manual. Anyone standing in an authoritian priesthood role needs to draw close to the Spirit and not always the manual.

[Hemidakota]

Is it down to the Bishop though? Someone said earlier that it's up to the Mission President.

If she is baptized.

Otherwise, prior to baptism, it is in the Mission President hands.

[Palerider]

Is it down to the Bishop though? Someone said earlier that it's up to the Mission President.

I to said Mission President......they need to be taught first by the missionaries and their President will answer the question in regards to living arrangements.

[Misshalfway]

I would like to be baptized and join the church, I've been studying church history and doctrines for almost a year on my own. I am taking a CES class at a local stake.The "problem" is I share a house with my best friend, of the opposite gender.

We have been housemates for over 16 years. We have separate rooms and are not interested in being married or romantic with each other. We were both married to others in the past and don't want to repeat the experience. We are both seniors. He is 69 and I am 57. I am retired and dependent on his income, I cannot move out and support myself. I read in "Preach my Gospel", that you can't be baptized if you live with someone of the opposite gender. Is that true in ALL cases? I don't want to call the local missionaries or the local ward, if they are just going to tell me I have to move out to be baptized. At an open house for the Rexburg Temple, we did ask a young missionary there and she said emphatically, "You can't be baptized unless you move out." Is anyone here a bishop or someone "in authority" who could advise me on the actual rule. Thank you and God Bless!

This needs to be a matter of prayer. How does God feel about this? This is one of those gray areas for me. If it were me, I wouldn't feel comfortable in that living situation....not because of my friend.....just because of my new found devotion. But, perhaps there are other creative solutions here. I definitely think that a conversation with the mission leaders might be helpful. If they do counsel you to change your living arrangement, how will you feel about that? The question most certainly will come up in the baptismal interview.

But hey, glad you are going to be baptized. Welcome to the flock!

[Latter Days Guy]

I don't understand the problem here, they are not living together as partners just sharing a house. Why would that stop someone becoming a member and getting baptised? I could understand it if they were living together as commonlaw man and wife but that does not seem to be the situation.

Coming to think about it, the person who introduced me to the church lived in a house with a person of the opposite sex, his landlady as he rented a room from her, does that mean that he would not be able to get baptised if he was an investigator of the church?

[WillowTheWhisp]

That's a good point. This is just a financial living arrangement no worse than someone renting a room.

However, I was just remembering someone I knew who was renting a room in the home of an elderly couple and he said that if the husband died he would have to move out because it wouldn't be proper. The situation never arose though because he got married and moved out into a home of his own.

[ztodd]

I would like to be baptized and join the church, I've been studying church history and doctrines for almost a year on my own. I am taking a CES class at a local stake.The "problem" is I share a house with my best friend, of the opposite gender.

We have been housemates for over 16 years. We have separate rooms and are not interested in being married or romantic with each other. We were both married to others in the past and don't want to repeat the experience. We are both seniors. He is 69 and I am 57. I am retired and dependent on his income, I cannot move out and support myself. I read in "Preach my Gospel", that you can't be baptized if you live with someone of the opposite gender. Is that true in ALL cases? I don't want to call the local missionaries or the local ward, if they are just going to tell me I have to move out to be baptized. At an open house for the Rexburg Temple, we did ask a young missionary there and she said emphatically, "You can't be baptized unless you move out." Is anyone here a bishop or someone "in authority" who could advise me on the actual rule. Thank you and God Bless!

Hi Bethie, welcome!

So have you had any of the missionary lessons yet? How well do you know the doctrines and commandments of the church so far? I'm just curious if you know everything involved in being baptized and becoming a member of the church.

How's your testimony so far of the Book of Mormon, of Joseph Smith and other living modern prophets, and of Jesus Christ? How strong is your testimony that this church is the true kingdom of God on the earth?

How strongly do you feel the desire to be baptized? If one of you moving out turns out to be what is required, will that stop you from being baptized?

What I feel the main issue to be, is to strengthen your testimony and your desire enough so that you will be willing to do whatever may be required of you.

I hope it all goes well for you... let us know how it all works out!

[ztodd]

I don't understand the problem here, they are not living together as partners just sharing a house. Why would that stop someone becoming a member and getting baptised? I could understand it if they were living together as commonlaw man and wife but that does not seem to be the situation.

Coming to think about it, the person who introduced me to the church lived in a house with a person of the opposite sex, his landlady as he rented a room from her, does that mean that he would not be able to get baptised if he was an investigator of the church?

There might not be any real moral dilema, but I think it's mostly just a matter of being willing to show obedience.

[Iggy]

I know of a couple who had two children together, without being legally married. The children are adults with children of their own. This couple have never been married, they live in the same house together, have seperate bedrooms.

She also is dependent on his income like you are.

The Branch President and the Stake President allowed her to be baptised and then a year later she received her endowments. Her significant other never became a member.

Go to your Bishop/Branch President. No one at this forum has the authority to say yes or no or to even speculate really. All we can do is give for-instances and examples.

Only your Bishop and Stake President can say yes or no for sure.

[Bethie]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'm still not clear on the answer for me, but it seems that it is decided on an individual basis and only

a bishop or stake president has the authority to decide. The CES class I take is taught by a former Stake President and Mission President of SLC.

He is very open and caring and fun. I'd love to talk to him about it, but I can't find him listed in any phone book. After class, he is always in a hurry to rush out to his next assignment. But maybe one day, when the time is right, I'll catch him and try to schedule an appointment. He almost always says "hello" or "how are you" to me before class, even though there are over 150 other people there. It feels like he senses that I might like to talk to him.

In answer to some questions asked here....no I haven't had missionary lessons, or even attended ward meetings. I've been studying on my own. I watch BYUtv and they have talks and lessons all day long from many Church leaders. I've watched the last two Church Conferences, I get the "Ensign" each month and study it cover to cover. The only books I get from the library are LDS books and I'm always learning, with my heart as well as my head. One elderly LDS friend that we knew (he died recently), said to my friend and I, "You know more about the Church, than most people IN the Church." For my birthday, my housemate bought me a Scriptures 'quad', which I cherish.

So for now, I will continue to work on my testimony and my commitment.

I can't honestly say that I would move out if I was told to do so by Church authorities. So, I can see that I have some obedience and surrender issues. All I know truly is that I love Jesus Christ, I believe this is his restored Church and I feel SO blessed to be a small part of it, even if not "officially". I know that everything will work out perfectly and exactly as it should. God is in charge! All is well!:)

Thank you and God Bless.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Bethie, I took a year of reading church books etc before I joined! You could still attend Church meetings even withiout getting baptised. That way you would get to know the Bishop of the Ward and maybe then you could approach him with your questions. Do you know where your ward chapel is? If not you can find the nearest one from the church website. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

[Misshalfway]

I was sitting here thinking about it .... and I think we all come to these fuzzy, or murky areas in our progression where perhaps there aren't firm commandments on things. Circumstances that may only apply to us as individuals. It is all good. Joseph Smith said, "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." I think that these are the times when the principles of personal revelation are so wonderful. We are all moving to align our will with the Father's will. And God will tell us his will for us. Sometimes, his will is that we choose for ourselves and that he will support us in our choices.... even if they are mistakes. He says in the D&C how he will not command in all things... but that we need to bring about righteousness of our own free will and choice.

I know it will all work out for you. As you move forward with your investigations.... the Spirit of Lord will move your heart and your path will become clear.

All my best wishes!

[VisionOfLehi]

Is it down to the Bishop though? Someone said earlier that it's up to the Mission President.

I'm a geek and I just wanted to say why it's up to the Bishop and how I know!

The Bishop is the head of the Aaronic Priesthood, and baptism is an ordinance of the Aaronic Priesthood.

[Palerider]

I'm a geek and I just wanted to say why it's up to the Bishop and how I know!

The Bishop is the head of the Aaronic Priesthood, and baptism is an ordinance of the Aaronic Priesthood.

you are correct with what you said about the Bishop....but...we are talking about someone who has not been taught by the missionaries. When they are taught by the full time missionaries the descision for baptism is made by the Mission Pres. The Bishop will not be consulted by the Mission Pres.

[Abraham]

I know this is a hard one, since the chastity is the meat of the cohabitation issue, we have to avoid the appearance of evil. Iin today's world you can't go around justifying your intepretation of the rules for - to sound harsh - convenience. I guess it boils down to this - Do you want to live with this man or with the Savior (in the Celestial Kingdom). I am sure that there is a solution. It is very unfortunate that in many places the living together is more rewarding financially than not, and sometimes one has come to rely on the other person's income for sustenance. I sincerely pray that the Lord will come to your aid. I have found the key to getting answers to prayer is getting out of the way. This is the true, divine, fullness of God's gospel here upon the earth. Nothing else matters as far as priorities but sometinmes getting by in the telestial state is kind of tricky. Look at what Abraham had to do with his wife Sarah.

All the eternal best and bliss to you,

Abraham