A guide to managing tough questions and unmet expectations. Ep. 129

A guide to managing tough questions and unmet expectations. Ep. 129

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saintsunscripted

Joined: Aug 2024

Descriptions:

In this episode, Dave talks about a framework originally outlined by Bruce and Marie Hafen that can help members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints formulate realistic expectations, and can help them approach tough questions in a productive way.

The Hafen’s have an entire YouTube channel where they discuss the principles outlined in their book. Check it out!: https://bit.ly/3zHigUS
“Faith is Not Blind” BYU-Hawaii devotional: https://bit.ly/3i5BpZT
“Faith is Not Blind” website: https://bit.ly/3iVIr2x
“On Dealing with Uncertainty,” by Bruce Hafen (1979 BYU Devotional): https://bit.ly/3zNSz59

Notes:

— An excellent example of someone who has moved through these three stages is Latter-day Saint historian Don Bradley. In his interview with us, he talked about how when he hit complexity (when he got into the nitty-gritty of Church history) he left the Church and actually became quite antagonistic. But he didn’t stop digging. And eventually, he discovered the simplicity beyond complexity and ended up joining the Church again. Check out his episode here: https://bit.ly/2UfGiGg

— “We need to look longer and harder at difficult questions and pat answers, but without lurching from extreme innocence to extreme skepticism. Today’s world is full of hard-core skeptics who love to ‘enlighten’ those who are stuck in idealistic simplicity, offering them the doubt and agnosticism of complexity as a seemingly brave new way of life” Bruce and Marie Hafen, “Faith Is Not Blind,” pg. 13.

— As I encounter complexity and attempt to manage my expectations of the Church, I also try to remember, as Dallin H. Oaks taught, “Revelations from God—the teachings and directions of the Spirit—are not constant. We believe in continuing revelation, not continuous revelation. We are often left to work out problems without the dictation or specific direction of the Spirit. That is part of the experience we must have in mortality.” Source: https://bit.ly/2SK0JuQ

— There are cons associated with staying permanently in Stage 1 or Stage 2. The Hafens teach in their book, “When we don’t see the gap [between the ideal and the real] or we focus only on the ideal while blocking out the real, our perspective lacks depth. If this is our paradigm, faith can be both blind and shallow, because it lacks awareness and careful thought. These limitations can keep us from extending our roots into the soil of real experience deeply enough to form the solid foundation needed to withstand the strong winds of adversity. Growing deep roots requires that we learn to work through uncomfortable realities” (pg. 12).

“On the other side you’ve got the dangers of Stage Two: “…despite the value of becoming aware of complexity, one’s acceptance of the clouds of uncertainty can become so complete that the iron rod fades into the surrounding mists, and skepticism becomes not just a helpful tool but a guiding philosophy” (pg. 12-13).

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