Heavenly Mother and the Temptation of Speculation

As a teenager, I would often do the “ask Mom if Dad says no” routine. When my kind but firm father would assign a curfew, restrict privileges, or set any kind of boundary, I assumed he had made an error in his fairness calculations or, on my less generous days, that he was trying to ruin my life. I would then insist on pulling my mom aside privately to make my case to her—surely she would understand my plight. Everyone else was doing what I was asking to do. She wouldn’t want my social life to be ruined, right? But time after time, I would come away disappointed. My mother always insisted that she and my father were on the same team, that they both loved me and wanted what was best and safest for me, and she was not going to publicly or privately undermine him.

Now my oldest daughter, 8, is old enough to try the parent run-around. After only a few attempts, she realized it didn’t work. One of my proudest parenting moments was when she said, “Dad said I can’t do this, and it’s not fair, and don’t say you’re on the same team. I hate it when you’re on the same team!”

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A few years ago, the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ made a distinct shift to more frequently referring to our Heavenly Parents rather than just the Father. The existence of a Heavenly Mother is one of the most unique doctrines of the Restored Church and it is one of great significance to women. Further, “[our] understanding [of Heavenly Mother] is rooted in scriptural and prophetic teachings about the nature of God, our relationship to Deity, and the godly potential of men and women.” Knowing that we are patterned after a divine woman brings greater understanding of the eternal nature of the family because women can live knowing that Heavenly Mother has felt what we have felt and has been through what we have been through. Fundamentally, we know Heavenly Mother by knowing the love and character of our Heavenly Father because they are one in purpose and intent. It has been exciting to see more discussion online between Latter-day Saint women on this topic as well as beautiful artwork depicting not only the Father but also the Mother reaching out to Their children on earth. I, like many other women I knew, bought the books, followed the Instagram accounts, and shared the artwork.

But something that quickly surprised me was the frequency with which Heavenly Mother was presented as being at odds with her Spouse. There seemed to be an implication that He was the mean Old Testament God, and she is a more compassionate, loving God for modern sensibilities. In many publications, she was presented as an LGBT+ ally and often connected with progressive American identity politics (“Heavenly Mother is an anti-racist!”). Heavenly Mother, according to some, doesn’t approve of our temple garments. For others, the doctrine of Heavenly Mother is too heteronormative, and it needed to undergo “theological queering.” Now, I have no doubt that Heavenly Mother loves all her children fully and equally, including those who identify with different genders, orientations, and races. I am equally confident that our Mother in Heaven doesn’t turn her back on us when we struggle with aspects of the gospel or are not making choices in line with the commandments.

To read the entire article: Public Square Magazine