10 Humorous Responses to “Are you Dating?”


Dear Single Returned Missionary,

It’s been 3 days, 9 months, or 6 years since you’ve been home. I’m guessing that the biggest thing on your mind is “It’s time to get married!”. Your mission president told you to do it and your parents most definitely want you to do it too.

Are you still paranoid whenever you’re around a person of the opposite gender? Or have you yet to hit the jack pot of relationships? Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to stop thinking about marriage. We should be obedient to Elder Ballard’s words: “Please stop delaying!”

Really, marriage will bless our lives for eternities. Nevertheless, we shouldn’t let all the pressure get to us, making us think negatively about ourselves because we’re single. Hopefully, these 10 responses will help you get past such moments with a smile on your face! 

Your Friend


1. Quote “Pitch Perfect”

Sassy excuse me response from Pitch Perfect
Aca-scuse me? Not yet! You can’t go wrong with a dash of “Pitch Perfect” sass, but really you do need some time to adjust. It will happen, but most certainly not right now!

2. Heck no! I’m single and everything is awesome!

Everything is awesome gif from Lego Movie
Be proud of being single! You might want to give a short list of all of the benefits of being single (example: you have more time to study; therefore, you get better grades).

3. Don’t Tie Me Down!

Handcuffs gif
Explain that in Spanish “Esposa” means two things: wife and handcuffs.

4. Don’t worry, if I’m not engaged by next month I’m going to redownload my Tinder

flirty guy winking
In a funny way, this tells them 3 things: for them to not worry; that you do plan to get married one day; and that you’re willing to go the distance for love.

caution sign

5. I haven’t found my Disney Prince/Princess yet

Love at first sight Mormon culture dating myth
Not only does this tell the questioner that you’re taking the idea of getting into a relationship seriously by wanting to find “the one” but that you are actively searching for her.

6. You know, I’ve read my patriarchal blessing a thousand times and he/she is not in there!

Justin Bieber reads letter
Although a patriarchal blessing doesn’t tell you who you are going to marry, many LDS men/women do look to it for advice when considering who they should be in a relationship with or making any big life decision.

7. Excuse me while I go…

Homer Simpson backs into a bush gif
If you are not comfortable with such questions this would be the perfect way to show that you aren’t.

8. Dating is not for me! The Singles’ Ward is scary!

Your next to get married Singles Ward gif
The popular LDS comedy, The Singles Ward, shows you exactly why many people dread going to a YSA ward.

9. I am confused, what is dating?

Dating Dicaprio meme
After living pretty much off grid for 18-24 months and being forced to succumb to the ways of civilian life, you can not be expected to remember this concept.

10. I was studying the ward menu and couldn’t find anyone I liked. Maybe next semester

Singles ward meme
Your YSA directory might not have your future spouse in it. Not yet, anyway. Don’t worry. Just trust the process.


Hadley is a writer at LDS.net and a student at BYU majoring in Print Journalism and minoring in Political Science. Her LDS mission to Oklahoma turned her into an avid OU fan. She enjoys speaking Spanish and cooking Thai food.