zookeeper2five

I can answer this one easily. My husband is 10 yrs older then I am. We always joke that I had to wait for him to join the church and he had to wait for me to grow up. He was graduating high school when I was in elementary school! Does it affect us? Sometimes it affects us in positive ways and sometimes in negative ways. I really loved the fact that he was done with school and in his chosen career path when we got married! Is it hard sometimes: yes. He was born in 1964 which is the last year of the Baby Boom generation. I am a Gen X gal. So it can be difficult. I think some of it has to do with our personalities though. I am a very free-spirited person and he is very practical. I am very spontaneous. He is SOOOO not. LOL I joined the church in 1991. He joined in 1996. I served a mission and he was not able to because he was over the age limit. For a long time he felt that I was ahead of him spiritually. It was very much NOT true. I had a lot more book knowledge. I had read the scriptures and church books more. I knew a lot more church history. But he was a lot more in tune with the Spirit then I was. HTH!

Aphrodite, Honestly, if I could know my kids would be feed, I would GLADLY hand that money over. I have a strong testimony of tithing. What I do not have a testimony of is human's always listening to the promptings and following through. Does that make sense? If it was tithing or say new shoes, or tithing or something monetary, I would have NO problem handing the money over. I am working VERY hard to get to the point to pay tithing. I use coupons so much that I have not had to pay for brand name personal items (shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, razors, tp, etc... for 6 months now. I also have a 2 yr supply of this stuff. So I cut corners when I can. We cannot afford the kids school pictures right now, so I am scanning them onto my computer and burning it onto a CD so when we are back paying tithing and out of debt, I will be able to print it out on photo paper. I am even haviung my twins sleep on the floor on a mattress so we do not have to buy a bed. They love it though. A king size (2 twins) trampoline! I know lots of church members that would stop paying tithing if they had as much debt as we do so they could pay it off faster. We are just paying off the 2 cars which would free up enough money to pay tithing. We would still have a $48K loan for the twins, FL house, formula and the nanny. It will be 5 more yrs before we can pay that off. But paying tithing and following the commandments is what gets me through each day knowing I am doing the best I can. And that is all that the Lord asks of us. RIght now, I am doing all I can. I HATE not following a commandment though. I know it separates me from feeling the Spririt as fully as I could. It does not sound like you have a testimony of tithing. It is something I HIGHLY recommend getting a testimony of. Are you a new convert? Tithing is definitely a new concept for most people. Look at the money as it is all the Lord's and he is blessing you with it - you will gain the testimony of tithing you need. I highly recommend studying in Church History when it came about and the full law of consecration that came before it. The church members were desolate when they were asked to pay tithing. And they still did it.

And where I am SOOO grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who will forgive my weaknesses and knows that I am doing the best I can with what I have been through.

I know the LORD has made that promise. I know HE will take care of us. I have just seen HUMAN BISHOPS not do what they should. I have seen a Bishop refuse help to a family where the dad was inactive (mom and kids were very active) because he wanted the dad to come visit him at the church before he would give assistance. (Dad was the priesthood holder and that is who he HAD to see first). This same family lived in a mobile home with 7 kids and NO TOILET for 3 months before my DH (who was the home teacher) told the Bishop that if he did not give that family some assistance soon he was going to go to the Stake Presidency. This was the same Bishop who gave an inactive Single mom a check to pay her light bill even though she never came to church and has not been back since she was given the check. So I am very cautious about relying on the church for assistance. And honestly, I am tired. The last two years have been the toughest years of my life. We almost lost the twins, I had to send my kids to live with non-member parents for 6 weeks without me being able to see them because I was on bedrest, preemie issues, and on and on. I struggle daily with writing that tithing check. Tomorrow is pay day. I SOOOOO badly want to write that check. But I SoOOO badly do not want to have no food in the house and nothing to feed my kids for meals. What would I do if no one shows up with food. Do I just hand the bishop that check for tithing and say.. I have $100 for food for each month... send us meals for the next 11 months until our two vehicles are paid off and we can afford food again?

Emma Smith is my hero. I adore her!!! We live about an hour north of Nauvoo. I have driven across the Mississippi when it is a solid block of ice. And I think of her walking across the Mississippi River with her children in her arms and hanging on to her skirts that had the original manuscripts of the Book of Mormon sewn into her petticoat in the middle of winter. Oh it just brings tear to my eyes!!! She was an amazing woman. I cannot wait to meet her. I even named my first daughter after her!!

Tithing is not for the church to have money, it is a commandment for us. Before the church members were given the law of tithing, there was the law of consecration. They could not live by that law so the Lord gave the lesser law which is tithing. I truly hate not paying it. When we did pay it, I did not pay it for the church. I paid it for me. I know there are stories of the Lord blessing others with monetary blessings from paying tithing, but that has never happened to us. We have been blessed with wonderful career positions for my husband, our needs and some wants met, health, beautiful children. Honestly, when I look back over the last 5 yrs, we were warned in a roundabout way that we needed to be extra careful with our money. We moved alot, but could have saved more and went without a lot more wants. If we had, we would have had money in savings to pay for all this. Hind sight is 20/20 though. So I go forward. I fret. I wrestle with this. I beg for forgiveness. I also see Heavenly Father's hand in my life guiding us. I see little perks like Pres Bush's Economic Stimulus package that will be one bill off in full and which will cut out $98 each month in payments. Every little bit gets me closer to beinig able to live the law of tithing perfectly. Believe me when I say that was ONE law I lived perfectly! I want to do ONE thing perfect again! 11 months and counting!

WOW.. I have to tell you... My dh and I had a budget meeting last night and discussed this VERY IDEA!!!!! We have $98 and change left over each month. I asked him if he wanted us to pay that towards tithing or snowball the vehicles to get paid off faster. We were undecided. I would happily pay this amount. It is not that I do not have a testimony of tithing. I TRULY do. We have always paid it. But when you are faced with feeding your family or paying tithing (though I know it should be at the top) it is REALLY hard! We do not have Dish or Cable at all. Out of 10 yrs of marriage we have only had it for 3 yrs out of those yrs and 2 were free through our apt complex. There is only a couple shows I watch and I can get them on the internet for free now. Our library has an AWESOME up to date movie collection and kids section. And that way I can be more choosey about what our kids watch. Plus, we are WAY too busy to watch tv conciously anyways.

We've tried that... several times. Believe me. I am a returned missionary and know how the church is supposed to run, but it is not happening here like that. He does not want to see our budget and our bills. He just said pay it. He did give us a bucket of wheat though! I happily grinded it to use for making bread for our family. Call it lack of faith, but I refuse to give a tithing check until I can obtained a promise from the Bishop that we will have food on our table. If he cannot do that (and he hasn't as of yet... had 4 meetings with him... then I will wait patiently until he does. The moment he does, I will hand it over happily and then carpool with someone to the Temple. Believe me when I say that I REALLY need to go. My Spirit is SO weary with all the challenges.

I do highly recommend that book. The hardest part for us was going to cash envelopes. I found some little zippered pouches at Joann's fabrics for $1 and use those for each category. I have one for groceries, household, diapers, clothing, fuel. I keep them in a hard case pencil box I bought at Walmart for under $1. I also keep a $20 in my wallet and keep the cash box at home. That way my shopping is PLANNED. Also, I cannot spend more then I have. So I am a LOT more choosey about what I purchase. All credit cards at at home in the safe and our debit cards at kept at home. It is a proven fact (per Dave) that you will spend 15% more on average when you use plastic, even your debit card. Sometimes I do run into sticky situations when I really wish I had my debit card on me (I forget to pack a snack, kids are hungry, etc... but I just change plans and go home. I also go through my cart and get out all the impulse purchases I have thrown in. NEVER take your kids shopping unless you have to. These are some things I am learning. It is a hard lesson to learn. My dh makes very good money (thank goodness, or else we'd be in REALLY big trouble). When I quit work to have our first child, he got a raise that made his salary equal to what both of ours was. We have been blessed. We've never had a lot of money, because we lived in an expensive area, and now we have 5 kids, but I do see Heavenly Father helping us in ways that we need it. It is a challenge, and I like the way you said, equal to the reward. Though right now, 2 children with ADHD and 1 yr old terror twins we have named Seek and Destroy do NOt seem like a REWARD! LOL Just kidding. They really are. We are blessed.

We do not have a Bishop's Storehouse anywhere near us... closest one is over 300 miles away. When people need food in our area, the RS pres takes them grocery shopping. They won't do it for 11 months. Believe me, I have tried to figure out every which way i could to pay tithing. But my kids are not going to go hungry. And we are only paying minimums on our debt.

Thanks. Sometimes it is downright depressing! But we keep going and going. The Bishop has told us that the first tithing check we give him, we will be considered a full tithe payer. And I CANNOT WAIT for that day. I am getting my recommend renewed and going back to the Temple that week! Eventually we will be debt free again. And we have taken care of what we BOTH needed to so I am assured there will be no more surprise pregnancies! 5 kids is enough for this zookeeper! LOL

I TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. My Dh and I have been married for 10 yrs. In 2006, we had JUST paid all the debt off (cars, student loans, etc) and then ended up with a surprise twin pregnancy (we already had 3 kids - oldest had just turned 7 when the twins were born). I ended up on bedrest. The twins were premature and the medical bills (OUR part) came to $20K. I ended up with Post Partum Psychosis and had to hire a nanny since I could not be home alone with the kids with all the meds I was on. The twins also had issues with their formula so the special formula they had to be on cost us $600 a month. Then two months after they were born, we had to move for dh's career. We ended up paying 2 mortgages for 6 months ($3000 a month for both homes!!) AND ended up having to bring $15K to the table because of the housing market. We also had to get a new (to us) van because you cannot put 5 boosters and car seats into a minivan - the one we HAD JUST PAID OFF! :-( So total debt we are looking at is $50K. It stinks. Sometimes I wonder WHY we have to go through this. There were things that happened that Heavenly Father could have forseen and changed for us. IE.. I went into preterm labor on August 28th, dh's company was bought by another company so our new insurance started Sept 1st. We ended up paying a deductible for each of us for TWO different insurance companies. Obviously there is something we need to learn here, but I have no idea what it is. It is not like we went out on a $50K spending spree or anything. I am VERY frugal with our money. I coupon a ton and end up getting all our Health and Beauty products for free. We pay $1500 towards our debt, which is MINIMUM payments on the loans and cc's. This leaves us no money for tithing. It is REALLY hard. My husband works 80 hrs a week. We have sold all we can. Plus we still have 5 kids to raise and they cost MONEY! We are hoping to pay our two vehicles off in 11 months. Then that $500 will go towards tithing. At first I wanted to snowball it (we are doing Dave Ramseys Total Money Makeover Program), but my Spirit is SOOO weary, I have GOT to go back to the Temple. I miss it. I can feel how it is effecting myself, my marriage and my family. It will take us about 5 yrs to pay off this debt. It is not what we had planned, but it is our reality. Our bishop just keeps telling us to pay our tithing and feed our kids beans. It is really ridiculous IMHO. My kids will NOT eat beans. And what will I use to feed my kids when I pay that $500? My grocery bill is only $600 for 7 already. And the 1 yr old twins eat more than my 4 and 7 yr old girls combined. I feel for you. If you do not have kids, get out of debt NOW before they start coming. I HIGHLY recommend Dave Ramsey. The Total Money Makeover Book Good luck!