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  1. 9 points
    Carborendum

    Understanding & Forgiveness

    I've experienced some enlightenment these past few months that I'd like to share. The reason you haven't heard much from me in the past several months is that I've been working about 60 to 80 hours per week. Some weeks more than that. It is this level of work that brought me to some enlightenment recently. Many of you know that I've got daddy issues. But I'm finally coming to understand him. And with that understanding comes some forgiveness. Much of what I'm about to say is basically what I'd kind of heard when I was younger. But not being in the situation, I just blew it off as people trying to excuse bad behavior. And maybe that was true to some extent. But the fact is that it isn't about excusing bad behavior, but about finding forgiveness in my own heart. My father had to be heavily focused on customer service. The nature of his business always required that he interact with people almost constantly. And even when he was not interacting with customers, he interacted with each of his employees. He had to keep a smile on his face even when he was being treated horribly and even being taken advantage of. He did this for 50 to 60 hrs/wk as the norm and had even busier weeks as the seasons changed. My business is not nearly as people focused as his business was. But I still have to do my share of people pleasing. One thing I found was that not only did I not have much time for my family, but I also didn't have the energy to "keep up the front." And that was when it hit me. On the one hand, he was constantly stuck in this "keep up appearances" mode because that is what customer service really is. And when he was not quite so busy at work, he had enough energy where he would be able to keep it up at home as well. On the other hand, when he did not have enough energy to keep it up, he was just brutally honest. And it wasn't kindness we saw from him. When I was younger and didn't understand the idea of deception, all I knew was that I "felt weird" around my dad. The thing of it is, I felt it not in his actions, but in his words and gestures. He was almost constantly in customer service mode. And for him, that meant lying to people. He always told people what they wanted to hear just so he would be considered a pleasant person to work with. So, he was so practiced in it that he carried it over to his home life. He could have found real traits to compliment people on. But he decided to compliment us on things that he "thought" we wanted to hear. All that did was make me feel weird whenever he tried to be nice to me. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it came to my dad. So, what was this great revelation I had? All my life, I thought of my dad as a liar. I always hated lies. It hurt me emotionally (even when I didn't understand what I was feeling) when others lied to me. And if I ever lied to others, I felt something that was almost a physical pain. That's why I tend to stay away from lies as much as I can. Although, I'll admit that sometimes, I find subtle deception to be an art that I have fun with. And it is usually in jest or for a topic of iinsignificance. What I have learned is that his "lies" were his way of trying to be better. It's "acting as if". Yes, "acting as if" is a type of lie, even if it is in a pursuit to become that noble state you're pretending to be. And it bugged me. It hurt me (as I've explained). But in understanding his motivation, I'm finding that it is becoming easier to find forgiveness in my heart when I think of him. I now see that he really was simply "doing the best he could with what he had at the time." The saying is that the purpose of the Church is to make bad men good; good men better, and better men best. My dad was a bad man. But he became better, as much as he could. He really tried. And I can see through this new lens and recognize that he did indeed become more than he was. Maybe he became a good man. I'm not in a place where I can judge that. But I now have found some compassion to realize that he was simply doing the best he could with what he had to work with. He tried. And he kept trying as best as he knew how. The other day I was talking to my son about how much I'd seen him grow. He told me the same about me. Then he described some traits that I shared with my father -- some traits which I would certainly do better without. I was initially angry. But when I gave it just a couple of moments' thought, I realized he was absolutely right. My son has a "brutal honesty" about him, which I guess he got from me. Sometimes it is annoying when your kids put a mirror up to your face. But he was right. I was like my dad in so many ways. I finally said,"You know, you're right. All I can say is that I'm doing better than my father did. And I see that you're doing better than I have." He said,"That's the way it's supposed to work, isn't it? What I realized he meant was that as flawed as I am, he was grateful that I had improved myself from the condition my father was, so that he could then improve himself even further than I had. I saw for the first time the "picture of hope" in my son. He was going to be alright. His children were going to be alright. It is unfortunate that I came to this realization this late in life. But I wasn't really ready for it earlier. And it is even more unfortunate that my father has fallen victim to dementia to the point where he doesn't recognize members of his own family anymore. It is unfortunate that he'll never know that I have finally found a way to invite forgiveness to take place in my heart for him. But I'm finally finding some peace inside myself.
  2. 6 points
    Grunt

    Missionaries

    Dates are set for the end of January.
  3. 5 points
    Fether

    New Years Resolutions vs New Year Systems

    Generally speaking, we would call them the same, but the book makes the distinction between the two. Goals: - Have a 6-pack - Make $100,000 - Run a marathon - lose 50 lbs - Read 25 books Systems: - set an alarm every morning for 6am and exercise - call 15 potential clients every day before I can have lunch to try and sell them my product - Run 1 mile every night right when I get home from work - meal prep every Saturday - listen to audible while I run and exercise.
  4. 5 points
    My son received his mission call to serve for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints about a month ago. He was assigned to labor in the Spanish speaking Nashville, Tennessee Mission. He reports for service in January 2022.
  5. 5 points
    NeuroTypical

    Calling secrecy

    I've been a clerk or Exec Secretary for over a decade, helping six different bishops. I've been in years of meetings where the organization presidents submit names, names and callings get discussed, things prayed about, decisions made, and assignments to extend callings made. I've lost track of how many times something changes after that, which result in someone else being called. First, submitting names doesn't mean you'll get what you want. The bishopric often (usually) have an awful lot more information about the people involved than the org presidents do. I remember we had a primary president that would show up monthly to bishopric meetings, bringing them a big plate of homemade cookies, and a very detailed list of who she wanted called, and to which class. She usually got maybe half to three-quarters of what she wanted. Sometimes she'd get frustrated because she didn't understand why she didn't get everything. Next, I've heard many stories that the act of offering the calling will often bring new information to the bishopric that has many different things be re-considered. Bishops hear about people planning to move, or massive personality conflicts get unearthed, or new information shows up that has the bishop thinking "brother x shouldn't be the SS president, he should be the deacon's adviser", etc. I've seen last-minute inspiration hit the bishop, after all the talking and deciding was done. The spirit gets a veto - I've seen it at least half a dozen times. Occasionally, I've seen callings extended and accepted, but before it can be brought to the congregation, something changes somewhere else, and a last-second 5-minutes-before-sacrament shuffle gets made. The more people who knew about what was going to happen, the more confusion and sometimes difficult feelings need to be dealt with. One way to support and sustain your bishop, is by making his life easier by just keeping quiet about your new calling, until you hear about it in sacrament meeting with the rest of the congregation.
  6. 4 points
    Just_A_Guy

    Morality of buying twins

    My understanding is that the reason they implant multiple embryos with in vitro is that it’s pretty much taken for granted that at least some of them will fail to implant (or, depending on when you believe life begins, they will “die”). For me and my wife the question would be: would we be willing to risk a miscarriage or two, just for the novelty/convenience of having multiple (surviving) children from the same pregnancy? I don’t know whether it’s theologically wrong; but emotionally—having been through four miscarriages already, I don’t think it’s something we’d be up to.
  7. 4 points
    I rather like this idea and have for some time. The artificiality of goals has always left me cold. Unsurprisingly, I don't do well with them. But at the risk of banging That Same One Note, I would point out the overt anticompetitive nature of this. Such a system is yours alone, without direct reference to what anyone else may or may not be doing. I believe that the day we quit worrying about how we measure up to Joe Blow's or Jane Roe's accomplishments and how much better we are than Pathetic Pete or Simple Sally, and instead begin focusing on how to become like our Prototype and do the things he does and how to help others do the same, is the day we begin taking large, positive strides toward Zion.
  8. 4 points
    Grunt

    Missionaries

    Boston Temple
  9. 4 points
    I think we have zero understanding of what sorts of interactions occur between kingdoms. We have a clear understanding of temple covenants, which include being sealed to family. You may find yourself in the Celestial Kingdom, with family members in other kingdoms. That does not annul your sealing.
  10. 3 points
    FWIW, I blatantly speculate carnal desire and learning to control it is more a similitude and/or a lower level thing that doesn't tie directly to itself the way you're speculating. As I see it, when an individual is as God is, the mastery of self is, clearly, a part of that. But that doesn't mean there's a one to one relationship in what we do in mortality with our carnal selves to what we must master in the eternities. As an example, my mother once suggested that what she looked forward to in the eternities was being able to water-ski again. I remember thinking in response that that's like presuming as a child that when you grow up you'll be able to play with blocks all you want to! Or pick your nose and eat it all you want to. Or eat a whole bag of some disgusting candy that only kids like. Or never go to bed. Or do nothing but watch TV all day. Etc., etc. Now as an adult, it's true. I can do any of those things. But having actually grown up, I don't want to. (My examples may be imperfect, but hopefully my idea is coming across). I thought to myself, why would a perfected, exalted being who has past, present and future constantly before them, sees all, knows all, can command all things and have all power, and can, presumably, travel anywhere they want or need to instantly... why would such a being want to be dragged behind a motor boat while standing on a piece of wood for fun? Additionally, I have nowhere near the desires and temptations (sexually speaking) that I did when I was younger. Part of that may be a lowered libido....but partly I just grew up. The idea of going to a club and dirty dancing with a stranger, for example, might have had an appeal when I was in my 20s. Now the idea sounds disgusting and stupid. Point being, things change in the way we think and feel as we mature. And we have no comprehension of God's maturity, but...just that glimmer of difference in mortality suggests something to me. I see young teenagers engaged in activities that are "fun" and I think they're stupid and have stupid interests and desires and cannot imagine how anyone could find such silly things fun -- despite the fact that I found things like that fun when I was a teenager. Inane, giggling silliness just isn't appealing anymore. I grew up. But I digress. My speculative point is that, yes, learning to overcome the carnal is important -- but I don't know that that translates to some sort of reality that we'll always have those carnal desires pressing on us in some sort of manner. FWIW, I also speculate just the opposite of your final statement. I tend to believe physical drive is a result of our fallen state. I don't tend to think we'll have physical drives -- or, rather, the perfection of our bodies means the removal of physical drives. Our need/drive to sleep, eat, take in oxygen, have sex, etc., I believe to be temporal. In point of fact, no more hunger, pain, or fatigue is, indeed, scriptural. I do understand your speculation, and, yes...maybe... Removal of hunger might not mean removal of the joy of eating. But since our enjoyment of eating stems directly from our bodies' need to fuel itself.... It'll sure be interesting to find out someday how it's all going to work though, right?
  11. 3 points
    Vort

    What’s the last movie you watched?

    My bad. Corrected above to Sense and Sensibility. He had already seen P&P, and I wasn't ready to do a six-hour marathon anyway. FWIW, I have always found Lydia's characterization in the book (and brilliantly done in the A&E/BBC P&P by Julia Sawalha) to be a spoiled and boorish young woman who draws attention to herself constantly, almost insufferably, yet is so charming and pretty that anyone under the age of about 30 gives her a pass—which, after all, is all she cared about anyway. I have spent more time than I ought wondering how the world's Lydias turn out in life, and deciding that their relentless upbeat nature must eventually be worn down by the consequences of their short-sighted actions and head-shakingly stupid choices. I don't have a daughter like Lydia, but I could see having one. It would be a headache, and almost certainly a heartache. I've been geeking out on musical modes the last few weeks, and have loved the fact that the two other major modes (other than our "normal" major mode, Ionian) are called Lydian and Mixolydian.
  12. 3 points
    mikbone

    Morality of buying twins

    Im an identical twin. In vitro fertilization only results in fraternal twins. We have 11 children all singles, most are about 18 months apart. Have you considered Irish twins?
  13. 3 points
    person0

    Morality of buying twins

    The process is called in-vitro fertilization. My wife and I looked into it as we were discovering our inability to have our own children. The moral and eternally significant questions that can arise involve the decision to use someone else's eggs and/or sperm (not an issue you are facing), and whether or not to freeze and/or dispose of leftover harvested eggs that are already fertilized (to many, disposing of a fertilized egg is equivalent to an abortion, so it would be preferable to donate it and face off with the first question). Why would people have extras? If more eggs are harvested and fertilized than is reasonable to implant into the uterus, then you end up with extras and must decide if you will have them implanted later (freezing), donate them, or dispose of them. In your situation, assuming you work with your doctors not to end up with unused fertilized eggs, I don't believe there would be any substantial moral, or ethical dilemma to impede you. The one spiritual consideration would be that you have the natural ability to become pregnant and this medical procedure exists as a fertility treatment primarily for those who lack that natural ability to some extent. Some might consider using this technology unnecessarily to be intentionally seeking to circumventing the functioning natural procreative process with which the Lord has blessed you. My wife and I weren't able to use in-vitro fertilization because even that would have only had a 5% chance to work for us. Additionally, the cost would have been in the tens of thousands for a single procedure. However, we will end up achieving a similar goal to the one you are seeking, because we were blessed differently and 4 of our 7 adopted children were over the age of 5 when they came to live with us (3 of their ages are within 4 months of each other). We wish we could have had those younger memories, but given that wasn't the Lord's plan, the fact that I will only be 47 when my youngest is 18 will also be nice.
  14. 3 points
    Vort

    What’s the last movie you watched?

    My almost-24-year-old, home for Christmas from BYU, told us a few days ago that he had never seen the 1995 version of Sense and Sensibility. We corrected that oversight post haste. To be honest, I noticed flaws and characterization choices that I never noticed in the past four or five or six (or however many) times I have watched it. Still, it was two hours well-spent.
  15. 3 points
    Encanto. Holy crap, I did not expect that movie, especially from Disney. I don’t think I’ve been so moved by a show in several years. Strong, meaningful family values. The show preaches the values of repentance and forgiveness, as well as any conference talk. I’m intimately familiar with the “strong and respected family where individuals suffer in the name of family first“ themes. I’ve been to that family dinner where it all comes crashing down. I’m related to Bruno. Luisa is my sista from another mista-I’ve sung parts of her song since 1983. Truly, my favorite movie of the year. I liked it at least twice as much as Dune. Oh, and you know how over the last several decades, we’ve all come to expect the husbands and fathers to be portrayed as foolish bumblers, optional, or unimportant? Well, the solution to that has apparently arrived. The unexpected vehicle is the increased racial minority representation and glorification in shows. Basically, if there’s going to be dads, but none of them can be white dads, then it’s ok to portray them as good, strong, moral, smart, etc.
  16. 3 points
    I have been thinking upon this principle for a bit now. The only principles that come to my mind are obedience to law, and the time of "Faith" is over (as to God's laws and choice). If people want to remain in the Telestial glory, or any glory, they are now bound by obedience to the laws of the kingdom of Glory. Chastity will still be a principle of truth in all kingdoms. If not, then they would lose the ability to remain in that kingdom. Obedience is the first law of heaven. So people who are not able to will not because they will be obedient to the laws of their kingdom of glory.
  17. 3 points
    This appears to be a personal interpretation from the notion that if you are in the Telestial kingdom you won't be able to visit the Terrestial or Celestial kingdom. In that sense, barred, thus they are able to mingle with others of the same glory; however, higher kingdoms of glory are able to minister to those in lower kingdoms. The same would go with the Terrestrial kingdom. It is said, the only kingdom which is able to minister to all kingdoms of glory are those in the Celestial kingdom.
  18. 3 points
    I'll start with one high-level scripture: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.” Assuming folks provide their insights and references, and we learn the cultural understanding we have is accurate, here's a chilling thought: Sometimes we have a big problem with our mean aunt who spoils one of our kids and ignores the other, or we can't stand our racist brother-in-law, or we had to get out of a marriage to an evil destructive spouse, and we simply can't fathom a way they'll make it to the celestial kingdom. If we don't repent of that notion and figure out a way to fathom it, then there's no way we'll ever see them in heaven, because we won't be there. We will have failed at the commandment to forgive all, and we're told there ain't no sin in God's presence.
  19. 3 points
    SilentOne

    Go Into Your Closets

    I came across an article in The Atlantic now entitled Americans Are Turning Spare Bedrooms Into Giant Closets earlier this year and have been meaning to share it ever since. Specifically, these parts: It seems like some nice context to have for Alma 34:26, "But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness," and "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly," from the Sermon on the Mount. Both translated before 1840.
  20. 3 points
    Anddenex

    The unclean

    I believe the scripture quoted answers this question already. The unclean equal, in this verse, those who "sought to do wickedly in the days of [their] probation." I would then recognize the more important question is what does it mean to seek after wickedness? Cast off would mean anyone who is not able to remain in God's presence in the next life. This then would include those who are in the Telestial and Terrestrial kingdoms.
  21. 3 points
    You're right. I've always thought that Christmas should be fun gifting instead of needed gifting. Unfortunately, there are those who are in life circumstances that dictate otherwise.
  22. 2 points
    Just watched the new Spiderman. I was 13 when the first Spiderman came out with Toby McGuire and seeing them all tied together the way they did was really cool 🙂
  23. 2 points
    Which is my point. I don't conclude that we, as Celestial Beings, don't have sex. In point of fact, I rather, secretly, hope we do. But I certainly don't conclude we do either. I conclude we don't know. And, therefore, presumedly, must poop and pee somehow.
  24. 2 points
    As I understand the stats you have provided - they are for the duration of the pandemic. I am more interested what has happened since the vaccine(s) have become available to the entire population and how that compares with those receiving treatments of monoclonal antibodies but have not received any of the vaccines. What I am hearing as of today is that monoclonal antibodies is more effective in treating the virus than the vaccine(s). I have yet to see any data that demonstrates that the vaccine is more effective than the monoclonal antibodies. I am becoming skeptical that this country (at the federal level) is making a real effort to solve the problem and is more likely to respond to profits being made in big pharma. The Traveler
  25. 2 points
    This is likely true, especially with the new strain out. The vaccine had been effective at reducing severity of symptoms and keeping people out of the hospital (and the morgue), kind of like a flu shot. And despite a considerable number of breakthrough cases, the data shows that the vaccine is effective at preventing infection. The death rate claim is false. It's likely that the current death rate is low, but that wasn't always the case by any means. I couldn't find comparative data for hospitalizations, though it looks like current hospitalization numbers are low in Florida. Omicron appears to be hitting the northern states the hardest at the moment, which makes sense considering that NY was apparently ground zero for the Omicron spread in the US. Again, current numbers are low in Florida, but overall case numbers throughout the pandemic are high. And a higher population actually makes that statistic worse, considering that the states with the highest per capita case counts are generally the least populated. Florida is 17 on that list, higher than any of the other top 5 populous US states. And the tourism aspect just means that Florida is likely a catalyst for spread in other parts of the country. Omicron is new, so it's likely that we'll see shifts in geographical infection rates in the coming weeks, especially after the holidays. I'm hoping that the vaccine will mediate the severity in relation to previous spikes, but the data in northern states isn't promising. I'm not a doctor and I obviously don't know the details about your interactions with your family members, but based on the information you've provided, my guess is that it's unlikely that your test was a false positive. I'm not sure what your sister and BIL are basing their assumption on, but asymptomatic cases are far from unheard of.