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Just_A_Guy last won the day on June 16

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About Just_A_Guy

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    Utah County, Utah, USA
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  1. Just_A_Guy

    Honesty Problems in Marriage

    The trouble with this is that in many jurisdictions, a party is liable for debts incurred by his or her spouse. In Utah, I could rack up $100K of credit card debt, divorce my spouse, bankrupt out of my portion, and leave her holding the bag for all of it—her only recourses would be to pay off the debt or file for bankruptcy herself. If a twenty-something female in a country where this sort of thing were permitted, discovered her husband had borrowed money using her as collateral—we’d tell her that her first and foremost priority is to keep herself safe from bondage, even at the cost of her marriage. But unless @dougfir‘s wife has undisclosed income that she has used to pay off the credit cards she’s racked up—that’s exactly what she’s done to him. Not once, not twice, but three times. That’s not a spouse; that’s a pimp.
  2. 1. This, of course, begs the question: what defines “doctrinal orthodoxy”, for purposes of defining who is “Christian”? 2. But one might reply that the word “Christian” is already imprecise in meaning, having been appropriated and bastardized in ahistorical and extra-scriptural ways by a variety of sects who claim the term belongs to them and them alone. 3. Why, exactly, do we need to know “where someone is really at”? (I’m not trying to be snarky here; I’m thinking that if we can really explore the issue from this angle we can reveal a lot of the subtexts that generally occur in the “who’s the REAL Christian?” sorts of discussions.) 4. But of course, Catholicism has an institutional hierarchy with final say over what it means to be “Catholic” (indeed, for nearly 3/4 of the Common Era, that hierarchy or its antecedents had final say over what it means to be “Christian”). If the Pope is willing to claim man such as your friend as a Catholic, who are we to try to declare him out-of-bounds—notwithstanding the gravity of his heresies? And by the same token: if the Lord Jesus Christ is willing to claim me as a Christian, whose business is it to try to tell me that I’m really not a “Christian” at all? As I understand it, the whole point of Protestantism was that no mortal man has the divine authority to tell me I’m insufficiently Christian or to pronounce damnation upon my head. If that’s the game some of them want to play, why didn’t they just stay Catholics?
  3. You won’t BELIEVE what happens next!
  4. Just_A_Guy

    Opt out of endowments?

    I didn’t say they were familiar with the endowment ceremony.
  5. I agree. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t work harder to build clarity on this issue before the marriage; and you probably owe her an apology for that. But no spouse has the right to unilaterally control the other spouse’s religion, or to micromanage their spouse’s schedule to the point that the spouse can’t spend 2-3 hours per week on a personal activity of their choice. And frankly, as a dad of six: My wife has gone through some pretty messy deliveries, including nearly bleeding out after a newbie postpartum nurse didn’t catch the fact that she was hemorrhaging badly. She has *NEVER* remained incapable of driving for fifteen weeks after birth. I don’t buy the story about your wife being medically unable to drive herself to Grandma’s at this point. I mean, if you’ve heard a doctor say that; I guess that’s the hand you’ve been dealt (but even then, once you’ve dropped her off there should be an LDS ward somewhere within pretty easy distance). But your wife recovered well enough to plan and go through a wedding with you a month or two after giving birth, so it sounds to me like she may be using her medical woes as a means of controlling you.
  6. —Did you tell your wife, prior to your wedding, that you planned to continue participating in your church? —Did you talk about what kind of time commitment that would entail? —If you did talk about these topics, what was her response? Did you reach any agreements? Are those agreements being honored now?
  7. When we say “original meaning”, do we mean that when Agrippa used the word (or its Greek equivalent) in Acts 26 he meant “Trinitarian”; or that he was referring to some doctrinal litmus year above and beyond “believer in the messiahship of Yesuha-bin-Yusuf”? I agree with you generally that what we are is far more important than what we are called. That being said, and trying to approach the matter with a degree of detachment: it strikes me that most of the litmus tests being offered by those who seek to monopolize the term in modern times have little to do with anything Jesus actually taught; and more to do with making sure that Mormons remain theologically, socially, and politically “otherized”.
  8. Just_A_Guy

    Different Revelation

    I agree. As for the “revelation” question—we can drive ourselves batty trying to analyze and explain the self-reported “revelations” of others, without ever getting any closer to the truth. All we can ultimately do is evaluate and follow our own revelations; and choose not to be a victim of the mind games of others. And this does sound an awful lot like some weird mind game. He says he’s done with the marriage, but he doesn’t want a divorce? Why? What is he still getting out of this marriage, at this point, that he doesn’t want to give up but that he isn’t willing to pay the traditional price for?
  9. I used to sort of like sports, but the baseball strike of the early 90s killed the magic of baseball for me; and the 49ers’ collapse and BYU’s emotionally abusive football team of the early 2000s (juuuust enough good games early on to make everyone think this might be Our Year, and then the roof fell in every. single. time) killed that sport too. (Growing up in northern California we never really had a basketball team worth rooting for in the first place.) Nowadays, in court I spend a good deal of time stressing out about what might happen if The Wrong Guys Win; and I just can’t see myself doing even more of that on a recreational basis. Same reason I rarely watch movies or TV (except for light comedies)—I get all the drama I can handle in the workplace. (And, @MormonGator, that even includes Disney movies—I was actually in a theater watching a stage play of “The Little Mermaid” last week, and found the plot so insufferable I nearly walked out (my five-year-old daughter’s excited giggling and clapping and jumping up and down was the only redeeming feature. That, and the fact that Ursula was being played by a dude.)
  10. Just_A_Guy


    Welcome, @Texan. Hope we don’t scare you off!
  11. Just_A_Guy

    Polygamy Porter

    The graphics in label are more problematic than the mere name.
  12. Just_A_Guy

    Hi saints

    Bem vindo!
  13. To the extent that there’s a violation of the Law of Chastity in your past—that is “fixable”, from the standpoint of getting a temple recommend. It may take a little longer than you’d like, but it’s do-able. You should be aware, though, that one of the questions for the TR interview is whether you’re current on any child support obligations; and that’s regardless of whether you actually see the child or not.
  14. Just_A_Guy


    @Traveler, I didn’t get the impression that @JGarcia was trying to set himself up as an authority on anything; I took his invite for questions as referring to personal questions, in a “let’s get to know each other” sort of way.
  15. Just_A_Guy

    Converted and live with girlfriend

    One of the nasty things about sin, is that it tends to reinforce itself. The longer we persist in it, the harder it is to get out. It sounds like you’ll be married relatively soon either way, so superficially, the situation will eventually have resolved itself. At that time you’ll become an active LDS family that either actually has paid the price for and has a testimony of the Law of Chastity and can claim the blessings thereof, or . . . a family that hasn’t.