It's been a while since i logged on, but now i have a few things on my mind and figured i couldn't go anywhere else to ask these questions with the comfort i can here.
I've been inactive in the church for quite sometime. I've missed large parts of it. I left for reasons that make sense to me, some knowingly silly i'll admit.
I like the belonging, but i feel smothered. I feel I'm always trying to live up to others expectations and trying to meet obligations i don't have a desire to meet. I go to church for a spiritual boost. To get closer to my maker and find peace. I don't mind acts of service or callings, but when they over take the feeling of peace or closeness i have with the spirit, i leave or give up altogether.
I also don't deal well with groups and need personal space, but i find i'm either ignored or just mobbed and there seems to be no happy medium. I want to go back and i know i'm the only thing keeping me from it, but if i go back and find it all the same with the pressures and disappointments then i know i'll be done and just seek the spirit on my own.
Any advice?
