leigh23

My husband and I recently bought our first home not too far from my parents. Most of my family are not members and drink alcohol. This really concerns my dad though. He is never obnoxious or irresponsible when it comes to drinking.. We have no problem going to our family members houses where they consume alcohol. We know its their choice. When it came time to decide whether or not to allow alcohol in our home, my husband said it was ultimately up to me because it was my family that would be affected. He would prefer no alcohol, but would support me on whatever I decided. I decided that I don't want it. Its our home and I want our son to see that we hold to the higher standards when in our own home. My dad was not happy with this choice. When we had our son's birthday party, he had been planning on supplying the alcohol, he doesn't expect us to buy it. It is the same thing he does whenever my sister (a member) has get togethers at her house. The birthday party went fine and he didn't bring any alcohol. However twice then he has brought alcohol over. Once when we invited my parents over for dinner (my mom is a member). I told him I wasn't happy about it but then let it drop because I didn't want to ruin the night. Then recently he came over to drop off a grill and cracked open a beer as soon as he got out of his truck. He was here 20-30 minutes. So here is my question, do I push the issue? I love my dad and I don't want to alienate him. He thinks I am trying to push my beliefs on him. I see it as its my house and my rules, it doesn't matter what your beliefs are. I'm kind of ticked that he is just ignoring what I asked of him. And besides I just don't get why he can't go a few hours without a beer. Its hard because my sister does allow it so I think he thinks that since she says its okay, I should be okay with it too. And I think he also believes that its my husband is behind the rule when really its me. My husband hasn't said anything about either incident.

Thanks for the input everyone! Those were distant relatives who drank in the cars, I don't think my immediate family (basically my father and siblings) would bring alcohol if we asked them not to, I just am worried that it would cause tension between me and them and I am not sure I am ready to deal with it. Also my brother who was married in the temple is also in the market for a house near my family. He and his wife are ok with my family bringing alcohol, they won't supply it but they will allow it to be brought in. I think it just makes it harder for me to stand against it.

I grew up in a part member family. My husband is from a long line of Mormons. We recently graduated and are looking for jobs that would bring us close to one of our families. I desperately want to be close to my family, but there is one major obstacle that is standing in the way. Many of my family members including siblings, father, grandparents etc. drink alcohol. For the most part they are social drinkers, but they do like their drinks. My husband is adamant that when we have a house there will be no alcohol brought into our house. I am not sure that my family would accept that should we live near them and think that it would cause a rift between me and them. There is a distant relative in my family who years ago was Mormon for a little while and refused to let anyone drink alcohol in his house, his parents would drink it in their car in the driveway when they came over for dinner. My family (including the relative) now laughs at the story as ridiculous, but I'm not sure as to what they think is the more ridiculous part, the drinking in the car, or the refusal to let them bring it into the house. As it is now, my father will bring a six pack with him when he goes to my grandmothers house (a member) without any problems. My family would not expect us to buy it for them and have it on hand when they visit, but I am sure they would bring it with them. My husbands main point is that he does not want our future children to see alcohol being consumed and that it would send mixed messages. I argue that they will see it anyways when they visit grandpa and family and it is up to us to teach them about the choices we make in life. And there is no way that I am going to not let my children see my family because they drink, they are good people and just don't see anything wrong with drinking a little. After all we live on the east coast, its not like they will never be around it. I guess my question is: what do other people do regarding alcohol when they have family members who are not members?