spade

I agree that all sin is serious. I think perhaps sexual sin is treated with such careful attention because it messes with one of the most profound gifts of God, the ability to create. While pride and lack of compassion can damage a life in terrible ways the ramifications of sexual sin are vast and far-reaching. I'm desperately trying to avoid these pitfalls. For those of us who enjoy the metaphores: We can draw a line in the sand that we say we won't cross. We can draw fifty such lines, but at the end of the day we are still standing in the sandbox. It's only a matter of time before we cross one of them and usually it's only as we try to climb out that we realize we are knee deep in quicksand. Thank heaven for the occasional rope thrown to us. :)

I want to thank everyone for your kind support. You all don't know how much strength you've lended me. I'm going to be getting in contact with the good brother who schedules meetings with our bishop and getting an appointment. This isn't going to be easy but I'm going to make this right in any way I can. I can't help but feeling like my Father in Heaven meant for me to be more than this.

I've made up my mind to speak with my bishop. It's been a looonnngg time coming but I've finally gotten to the point where there is no more left to give to sin and I need to be free of it. I've never had the occasion to confess to a bishop before. Something that has stopped me is that I am female and it seems that there is this "profile" of those who do any sort of sexual sin. Male. No really! I can't count the number of times when a bishop has mentioned sexual sin he has directed his advice to the males present. My sins were not committed with another; they deal with what I chose to read and view and I almost feel like it's worse because these choices are totally on my head. I guess I worried, still worry that when I come in to him he is going to be more dissappointed in me because I'm female and should have been better?...It sounds ridiculous, I know, but it's just a gut feeling. Brothers and sisters whom I will never see, please reassure me. Tell me that this is going to be worth the humilition of confessing to a man I greatly respect and whose good regaurd I can't help but feel I'll lose in small measure. Can anyone tell me the general formula for what happens when you go in to a bishop? I know he will treat my case as he feels is best but what can I expect in general? I think that having an idea will help me do this with conviction. I'm eternally greatful that this is even possible. That I have a savior who loved me to pay for all of this.