Deadinside, I was browsing through this site and I came accross your situation and I could not go on without responding: These feelings and thoughts can seem so real, but they are a lie. When you think about something long enough, emotions, even dreams, can accompany them and it is very easy to be convinced that these are real feelings and that you will find happiness and peace if you just could go back to that other woman. The truth is, you will break the heart of your wife, your children, break your covenants, and you will be miserable. Satan knows this, and would like nothing more for you to go chasing happiness away from your family and covenants. It is simply his way of trying to destroy you. I know that you might be thinking: "but you don't understand! I've had this impression, or that feeling, and I am sure I am right-that I really will find happiness with this other woman". I just want to say that your situtation is not unique, that there are others that have also had these feelings, thoughts, and impressions, and they are a lie with the intent to destroy you, your wife, and your children. Satan has a way of making these things appear and feel so right. As I am hoping that you will accept this and trust me, I have a suggestion: pray for help! Make a decision that you want to love your wife with all your heart (D&C 42:22) as the Lord has commanded you even if you don't feel that way at first. Loving someone is a choice we make, and the feelings follow. You will find that with disciplined effort to stop these thoughts and focus on loving your wife, your heart will follow, and a wonderful, abiding love for your wife will start to grow. Then you will find happiness. You will be able to look back on the thoughts you shared in your post and recognize them as a lie sent to destroy you. You are not the only person who has faced this, and the Lord will help you!
