kmoore

All, thx a ton. In fact the first thing I did was check the "for the strength of youth" program, hadn't pinged my bishop yet .. more to be nice to him than anything else :). Seriously, wanted to work this out in my own mind first. Also, I should have made it clear that I'm not looking to skirt the advice from our prophets, just looking to clarify it. I don't want any exchange to go like this: Me: No dating Awesome Son: what's dating Me: uhhmmm .... :) :) :) I think there are actually two points that I'll make with him. The first is: It doesn't matter if it's a date or not, it looks like a date to others and we want to be a peculiar people. (He's not crazy about this as I talked him thru it, but it's definitely a stance I believe in. Krazy, I'm so glad you said this. In my mind (which is a bit over the top on the analytics, but that's who I am) I was thinking something like this. If you devote more than 50% of the time to one person at any event, then that's dating. Doesn't matter who drives what, who pays what, or what others think ... you are focusing interest on one girl... Hmmm, as I think about this more, maybe they both need this ... she needs to spend at least 50% of her time with others while he is spending time with others. So, in this particular case, I'm thinking that he actually wouldn't be on a date by my new definition, but that he'll need to pass because it "looks like" a date. Time for a new post ... just what looks like a date .... j/k!!! lolz. Thx again to all.

got a little more info from him. She was elected royalty but hadn't really run and wasn't planning on going. He swears that no one (i.e. in his circle of friends) considers homecoming a date. I know for me it would have been considered a date, but certainly plenty has changed since those ancient times :) But this is why my question really is: What is dating. I think the lines have blurred quite a bit since my last date ... oops, I mean since I was married :) Thanks for the advice. BTW, his older brother has never really been interested in "dating" and mostly just hangs out, and not just with one, which I thought was way cool. But alas, my children are different :) who'd have thunk it.

All, OK, on the surface this seems like a pretty easy question. In my day a date consisted of a guy picking up a girl and going to a movie .... guy pays, etc. I lived out in the country, not many mormon's around and we pretty much stayed on the farm. But the reality of today is pretty different. Kids often just hang out together. They'll go to a friends for video's, off to the mall, or whatever the idea de'jour is. Older kids sometimes drive, otherwise parents are usually shuffling. Today, my son asked about going to homecoming. He's newly 15 and knows we don't date at this age. But he seemed to have it worked out. A girl chum is somekind of royalty in this dance. He's not into her (I totally believe him, he likes a girl on the other side of town). He's helping this girl by being her escort, they are covering thier own expenses. So, I'm torn. Feels harmless enough. I really feel that the spirit of dating isn't here. But I don't want to establish a bad precedent, for my other children or for other parents (don't you just hate it when others have radically different standards that your kids want to copy :) ) It got me thinking about what constitutes a date. I feel sure that it is in the hearts of the participants, but that doesn't help me as their parent. I've got some ideas .. but I'll stop now and see what others think.