supermax

Thanks for your lovely email. No individual is perfect and that includes me however I have always been the type to be taken advantage of because of my soft nature. I am very sensitive over the fortunes of people that are disadvantaged. I was living the word of wisdom before I even joined the church. I cannot understand why I would be at the depths of depression because of the lack of a witness. I don't just pray, I beg, plead and grovel. I've asked the Lord to take everything I have to give me a testimony. My patriachal blessing lists many things that I can't achieve without knowing or believing that they are from Heavenly Father. I'm considering counselling of my depression as it is all getting too much for me.

I was promised that if I prayed with real intent I would be given a testimony of the LDS Church by the power of the Holy Ghost. After 20 years I have no testimony and I am in turmoil. I am so desperate that I have asked the Lord to take away everything that I have in order to register my intent however there's still no confirmation. Last week was a turning point. It is the 1st time I've turned down a Church assignment. I can't carry out certain assignments and callings without that sure knowledge. I could go on in blind faith however I would be lying and I'm sure that the Lord would not sanction that. I've spoken to various Bishops who seem confused. I've sent numerous letters and emails to LDS support groups without receiving a response. I'm getting quite depressed now. What can I do?