greenice87

Jolee65, I did not befriend this man (tried to kill himself) becasue of what I would get back like a monetary investment. If you are not telling the whole story then would not it be reasonable for those that are responding to give advice based only on what it is you have written? Someone once told me that selfish people don't love the use. You can't choose how someone will love you in return. It sounds as if I have offended you but how you feel is your choice and blaming someone else for how they make you feel is just wrong on so many levels. Sounds like the 2 of you have a very strong codependent relationship. I won't respond anymore and you can reply or post with any measure of attack against me you see fit. Please remeber I am not the one asking for help on a public forum. Another wonderful phrase my wiser and more well adjusted friends would slap me upside the head with from time to time is this: Do what the grown-ups do and if you don't know go find one.

I have seen it, I had to take my step mother (she can be very persistent) otherwise I wouldn't have gone. The popcorn was good, plenty of butter. It was actually a good story so to speak (historical). I did not care for some of the (no easy way to say it) so I won't. I'll qualify that statement, I didn't care for any of the .... In the 1930's, the Jews decided they should just ignore Hitler and he would go away. Eventually he did. I guess sometimes you have to be on the front line to fight the battle to defend those ideals which you hold most dear. I hope I haven't offended anyone, there are some very sensitive people posting blogs in this public forum and they only seem to want to get response's which agree with their own.

The last message and the one below have taken a great deal of courage to share with others especially in an open forum. I just no longer want fear to contol me so here goes: I am not saying that you should throw the baby out with the bath water but are not your issues. I had a friend whose wife had left him and we worked in very close proximity. He called me at my office and was absolutely distraught. I left work and took him to a professional therapist. Well, he did not really want any help because he lied and down played his problems. At the end of the day, I gave him a ride home and offered to have him stay at my house and he would get a meal and a ride back to work the next day. All he wanted to do was go to where his wife was staying. I refused to drive him for obvious reasons (obvious to me at least). We got in a big fight and he stormed into his house. The next morning his estranged wife called me at work to tell me that he tried to kill himself by cutting his wrists and blaming me. At what point am I fault for offering the help I could and he not accepting it. He lived and I am still friends with him but I am only in control of what is inside my hulla hoop. I hope your friend finds what she is looking for in this life and can live happily and I hope that you can accept her decision and be OK with it. I have struggled wih what your friend is going thru from both sides of the fence and have lost everything (family, job, house, every possession and nearly my own life) because of it and I used blame others for my state. A psychologist had only one thing to say to me: You are the most selfish person I have ever met. At the time I was in pain and needed help and all I could so was let my mouth drop open and sare at him. He was right. I know this is all over the board. Take it for what it is worth a real life experiene of the ability (with great struggle and even gretaer desire) to find where I belonged n this life and not impose my will upon other s for good reasons or bad. Greenice87

The following is much easier to say that to write. I will do my best. When I was married, mu wife and kids would need a tool for something and they would go to my tool box and get what they needed. When they were finished, they would not put the tool back but leave them either outside to be ruined by the elements or somewhere never to be seen again. I would either get frustrated or angry and I would complain to them with no result. I would complain to my friends and that didn't do anything but rehash all the resentments and bad feelings (Why didn't they see my way of thinking and doing things). After all, my way of thinking was so logical and simple. Here's where it got difficult for me to understand. One of my more intelligent and in tuned friends plainly said, "Does it bother them that your tools aren't put back?" I would exclaim, "Of course not." He replied, "Does it bother you?" I snapped back, "Of course!" Already angry and somewhat annoyed by his line of questioning, he finally said, "Then, it is only your problem and not theirs. So solve it." I am not the most intuitive person so I wonded how do I solve this because they will not do what I want. The solution is holeless. He knew what I was thinking and without me saying a word he said, "Get a lock for the tool box and if they want to use a tool they have to ask. Problem solved." It took a lon time for me to accept this line of thinking but when I finally did my life became infinitely less complicated. There is more I could write but if you have questions or want to know more drop me a line. Good luck and may the Lord bless you in all you do!