llavende

And that doesnt seem even the least big unrealistic? He has one of the strongest spirits I have ever encountered, but that doesnt mean he is somehow magically able to not care about someone he loves being with someone else.

I think that is probably true...but I also feel like people are not totally reading this right...I dont want to write him off, and why is he being a bad missionary??

Thank you all for your responses. In regards to his calling me, I was present as family's, He didnt literally call me. The thing that makes this a challenge is that I love him. I know that at 19, it seems like a big claim but I really do, and the idea of just "writing him every few months" seems like torture. I would marry this kid, if it were not for the fact that I cannot be mormon, I have taken the discussions and while I feel that many parts of it are true, I don't believe it enough to even consider converting.

I told my (ex-boyfriend) A missionary that I couldn't wait for him for two years before he left. We dated all of high school, and definatly did talk about marrige and children. I am however, not a mormon, and thus didn't feel like we were in the same place enough for me to commit two years. The problem is, I do love him so so much, but I told myself I had to force myself to move on. I told him that too, that I was moving on and trying to fall out of love with him. This broke his heart, and he doesnt understand why. I started dating, and didnt tell him, and he continued to write me very very sad letters explaining how confused he was and how upset. Then, he called me on mothers day and cried into the phone, and it broke my heart. I am trying to move on becuase I don't think I can be mormon and I am not 100% sure he is my soulmate, but I love him...more then I have ever loved anyone, and its killing me to hurt him like this. I am just trying to do the right thing and let him let me go and try to move on so he doesnt get more hurt, but I feel like I am just making his mission harder. Should I just stop talking to him so he can hate me, or tell him I am totally over him and dating someone else (a total lie) so he can hate me?...I dont know how to make it better, and I just wish I could.