No, I wasn't punishing my kids by sticking a TV in their room and then not allowing them to watch movies. The rule changed. We used to let them watch one movie a day, then we said they could have the TV in their room if they didn't watch it every day and it was agreed upon by our family. Otherwise, I was removing the TV altogether. So it was once in a while or nothing at all, to which my kids decided once in a while was better. While I agree that treating them like fully functioning and self controlling adults is wrong, I fail to see why having a TV in their room means they have to watch it on a daily basis? I would rather teach my children self-control and how to use thing appropriately than to remove anything and everything that may cause temptation. My 9 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old who also live in that room have no problem following the rule. It is a one child situation, so I don't think that the fact that the TV is in their room is the problem. The rule was not that they can have the TV in the room and not watch it, it was that the TV was to be used appropriately, at appropriate times for an appropriate amount of time.
I don't think I was very clear now that I am reading my post and some responses... I don't just say "no" or "because I said so" to my kids. I don't believe in that. Kids are smart, they can understand reasoning (especially at 7) so I will give them an answer to their questions. He just doesn't like the answer, so he chooses to continue arguing. He is like this with more things than just the TV, that is just my current issue with him. I have a total of 7 kids and NONE of them are like he is. The rest of them obey extremely well actually and can accept a "no" when I give it. They just understand that there is a reason they can't do it or whatever. My 7 year old however doesn't really care if there is a reason behind it. It is what he wants so why shouldn't he have it? Who cares if something bad will happen, it's what he wants.
Also, I give him other choices. Yesterday for example, I told him that we were not going to watch a movie but he could play with his toys, go outside, read a book, or color. It didn't matter what other options I gave him, he wanted to watch a movie and if he couldn't watch a movie then life as we know it just wasn't going to go on. He then proceeds to tell me how he thought it was going to be a good day, but now it is all ruined because he can't watch a movie.
I've also asked him why movies are so important to him and he says that he just enjoys them. I tried to explain to him how too much of a good thing can be bad for us (like too much candy makes us sick, etc.) but it just keeps coming back to "well I want to and I won't be happy unless I can do what I want." We've never spoiled our kids or just given them what they want because they are whining. Like I said, 6 other kids, none of them act like this. In fact, the more they whine, the more I take away. They haven't watched movies in a week because for every day that my son fights with me about the rules of the TV, I take it away another day. None of the other kids even ask to watch movies because we are always doing other things. We have a trampoline, a big backyard, pets, art supplies and a park across the street. There is no shortage of things for these kids to do. And yes, if they need ideas finding something to do, I give them ideas. I'm not telling my kids to just "deal with it" if they are bored. My 7 year old just gets it set in his mind what he wants to do and will not do anything else. Another example, he wanted to play with playdoh last week which is an activity that I need to supervise because I have younger children as well. I was bathing my youngest, so I told him we couldn't at that moment, but after I got his sister out of the bath I could pull it out. But he wanted it NOW. That is what I am talking about. For any other kid, that would have been a find response and they would have waited 5 minutes to play with playdoh. So, then we ended up not playing with playdoh because he threw such a fit about it.
It is mostly frustrating because of things like this playdoh incident. I would love to let him play and do the things he wants to do, but sometimes I can't do it in that moment. I also do not want to reward his tantrums, so I end up making him wait longer or not do the activity at all. I'm wondering if there is someone out there with a similar child who is just kind of stubborn and how did they get through to that child? I do not want to keep punishing him all the time, I don't see how that will help, but I also cannot do EVERY thing he wants to do EVERY time he wants to do it, and he just needs to accept that.
JenaMarie, I know what you mean when you say that sometimes the kids just need to sit still and watch a movie. For us, a movie is a fun activity for the family once in a while. That was my reasoning behind not just getting rid of the TV all together. I would rather teach my kids control than to just eliminate everything that has a potential to be negative. I don't feel like it has to be that extreme. It would be easier to just get rid of the TV and deal with his complaining for a few days until he realizes it is just gone. However, I want to teach him. I don't want to punish him for liking something a lot. I want to teach him to control his desires. Any thoughts on teaching him that?
