bigguy77

Of course that is not what I wanted to hear but it's what i need to hear. I know things will probably never change. i was a workaholic and she says that she feels neglected. I understand that and have made changes. I have closed my business on Sundays and have shut my phones off in the evenings from now on. Business will probably slow down but I don't care. i just want everything to be right with my family. i want to hold the iron rod and walk with my family. I don't want to leave her behind. The sad thing is, the guy she had an affair with is a client of my company and she still talks to him. Once this last little business is taken care of im dropping him as a client. the thing is, when do I drop her? I feel like I am getting the blame for the affair and i keep apologizing to her. i want her back and want her on the same path but I cannot force her.

Let me give a little bit of background. I was baptized in 1995 when I turned 18. I met the missionaries and did it all on my own against my parents will. I lived on my own and wanted to serve a mission but it wasnt possible due to financing and college etc. My girlfriend at the time was born into the church. In 1997, we were married but did not get a temple marriage or get sealed. We were both worthy but with my family not being a part of the church we decide against. Our plans were to get sealed later. In 1999, my wife had an affair. She left for a while then I eventually let her come back. After that, we still went to church but neither of us said a word. For years, I have wanted to be sealed to her but knew that to get into a temple all this would have to come out. We never said anything. In 2005 we started having kids. We now have 2. Still going to church (not every week, enough not to be inactive but not enough to get callings etc., and still not telling anyone whats going on) We both wanted to work on our eternal marriage but knew she would have to go in front of the people she has know for 30 years and say that she had an affair. We started a business that took up most of our time so church slacked off Now it's 2009. She had an affair AGAIN with another guy who she is still friends with . She has moved out and got her own place and has left me with the kids but still comes around everyday acting like she wants to be a family. I have told her that I cant do it anymore and if we are to be a family then we need to work together. I have been taking the children to church and she comes with us. When I ask her to go to counceling and talk to the bishop with me she doesnt like the idea. I want to be sealed with my family and my wife. I understand that she has had 2 affairs in 10 years but I still love her. She is a great mother to these children and I cant imagine being with anyone else. Im tired of the part time wife routine but I want her with me. I constanly pray for strength. I prayed the other day and God sent an old missionary that my family befriended years ago back to our house. I need advice and someone to talk to