rmorrow

Thank you for your words. You are right i dont want my kids to ever have to deal with this conflict. i think just with this struggle of religion, its lead to more of a struggle of self. And the thought that my family now is not sealed together breaks my heart into a million pieces. And you are right also about me choosing somone of the same faith that i can have my family all sealed together. No my family is not sealed together my dad and brother are both baptized as church of christ and me my sister and mother are LDS but my sister is also inactive. but she has chose that life and is satisfied with it i guess. so me knowing the works of the lord through this church i should take advantage like you said and pursue those opportunities.

i agree there are many different cases of both your right. and i can tell that this religion is who you are, and what you believe very strongly. church has not been a big part of my life for the last 5 years. I dont regret anything i've done because i've learned alot about myself because of all of it and i think its brought me to this place where i'm really asking myself these questions and not just doing what i "should" do. This is a trial in my life that i'm having a hard time with. A con to marrying a morman man that i have struggled with ever since i even started going to church and was active is the fact that if i marry in the temple (which for as long as i can remember i have said i would do...) until i've gotten closer to the age were it is really something i have really thought about. My dad, brother, and inactive sister will not even be able to have that experiance with me. and yes they have chosen their life, and made thier own decisions. but that just breaks my heart to think that my family which means most to me wont be able to be there for that special event in my life.

You are right. people do say they wish they had found it sooner. thanks so much for your insite, you have been helpful.

YES! thats him thanks so much!

wow... i agree with you on thats why people get caught up in doing it because its "fun". I havent gone crazy doing everything i'm not supposed to i still have alot of morals. And its not really that i feel like i need to marry a morman because i'm morman, i just know all the blessings you receive with that kind of marrage. what i struggle with is that i know a marrage can work if your 2 different religions, that each feel very strongly about. my parents just had their 24 anniversary yesterday and my mom is morman very strong in the church and my dad is church of christ ver strong in the church. so i know it can work. but i also know the struggles they have had. but struggles come with every marrage. i think this is alot of were my being on the fence comes from... i know both work... and sometimes dont work. i have a very close friend that is married in the church and had what everyone thought was the best husband. and they have 4 kids also. well out of nowhere he cheated on her and said some of the most hurtful things and just completely surprised everyone. and this brought my confidence in a temple marrage down. and i am trying to figure out what i want. and that is the purpose of this thread to just hear opinions, and possibly give me things to think about that i havent.

I recently heard of a series of books they are called the 5 languages of love... i dont remember who they are by but i was told about them and i told a few people about them and they have spread like wild fire! they help you to realize what you need to feel loved. and what your partner needs to feel loved. i know they carry them at barnes and nobles. i would recommend trying them. maybe you guys are just speaking the wrong "language" to eachother. you feel in love for a reason, try to remember those. and also see your bishop. And if you do seek a counsler... try to find one who is of the same religion. they will understand parts of your marrage others wont. i hope that helps. and good luck stay strong! never give up praying.

I would like to add something... I'm not just wanting to get married so i'm jumping on the first "boat" i can that takes me there. I am just trying to get my life in order and figure out where i need to be. But by asking the pros and cons of a nonmemeber and a member, it gives me something to look at thats right in front of me. And other opinions like just_a_guy helped me with just something i havent thought of. I want the eternity marrage and that life because i believe in it and know its a great thing. But with my constant search for happiness, i end up doing the things that make me happy for the moment not eternity. But were i get confused is the part that i have fun doing those things i'm not supposed to and i have fun living the church life but i'm not so deep into one or the other to be able to choose, if that makes sense...

Thanks! That is actually very true and something i had not thought of. So then what do you think would be the solution for me to do now? If i'm living a non-morman lifestyle but with that possability?

Well no i'm not ready to be married just yet... I have done alot of improvement on my self searching but i think for me this is going to lead to different answers other than marriage particularly. I am just trying to establish pros and cons to the kind of relationship i want. Because as of now not one has been a relationship that is equal. So in order to put myself in the right situation to even meet a potential boyfriend, i need to know what exactly i want and i'm having a hard time figuring that out. I think when i find the answer to this it will help settle some of my self questions.

Sure!

Hi everyone! I'm currently an inactive member. I'm doing a little self searching and i've stumble upon a question that i cant seem to find the right answer i'm looking for. i'm 21 and recently moved back close to my parents and am a little lost in my life. My question that i'm asking myself is..."do i want to be with and marry a mormon?... or does it matter if i can find somone i love who can give me everything but just not the religion asspect of it?..." so what i'm looking for is the pros and cons of marrying the same religion or a nonmember. My mom is a member and my dad isnt, so i know it can work when your not of the same religion but i also know first hand of the trials and how hard it is. What i cant seem to get my mind around is i enjoy things that arent really church approved, but i enjoy church also. and its not a question of do i really believe it or not. because i truely to and i want that eternal family. but on the other hand i dont know if i want to give up doing what i shouldnt. i would appreciate any help, advice, anything!