nikkiG

thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. :) As far as marriage goes, I don't think marrying someone just because we both got into a heap of trouble together, is a good idea. I love the man, but neither of us at this point are ready for marriage. I broke up with him, I need to get this figured out before I can be in any kind of relationship. This might sound cheesy but I don't feel like I am good enough for anyone, I need to be OK with myself and the Lord before I can let anyone else in my life. And it kills me because I do love him and he says that he loves me, but I just can't have this hanging over my head and I know that if we stay together is will be very hard to repent... Argh!!! Why does this have to be so hard?

This is going to be another one of those stories... I am a convert to the church, not that it really matters I guess, I am endowed, served a mission have a bf that is sorta active, but has not been through the temple... we've been dating for a while and I have already gone to my bish once concerning the law of chastity issues and got those almost resolved. And now I have to go back, because what he warned me has happened... we did it... ARGH!!! I am so mad at myself and feel horrible, I am not even off the probation from my last "offense"... I know I need to go in and talk to him... I think about what we've done all the time and I have a hard time sleeping at night over it, so I know I need to do it even if just for my sanity... I know none of you know what my bish will say, but I am embarrassed and terrified... I know that I've broken some serious covenants and I am worried that I will get exed or disfellowshiped which will be REALLY bad, my family will disown me... And I've toyed with the idea of not going in and doing it later but... I can't take the sacrament and I don't think I could live with myself... argh!!! I am so scared...