stevedaddy

YM President. To be honest, it can be part of the problem. The vast majority of my non-work time away from home is due to this calling. At times, my wife resents it. I can tell.

Didn't mean to offend. I'm not one for posting on these message boards, just felt like it today. So far, I'm satisfied. You may have a new regular forum member here.

I would love to go back to only 3 hours of church on Sunday.

In all fairness, my little third person narrative did skew a bit in my favor. But yeah, MOE=wow. I guess I can't be that surprised. What is actually surprising is the amount of useful responders (no offense to the forum, but this is an anonymous online community - why should you care about my situation?). I am grateful for the thought given to my situation by the majority of the posters.

Glad to be of service. Use the skills of propaganda and condescension I've taught you wisely. Troll much?

Don't be. If I weren't in the middle of it, I'd be laughing too. Your husband needs to change more diapers... jk.

Thanks for the support. I'm 6'3", 290 lbs and she knows she can push me around already. This is my train of thought on the issue. However, the "women speak" posters on here are right about women being essentially crazy (at least from a man's perspective). I don't think this logic will prevail in this situation. Four hours with the kids isn't a problem at all, just the workload this weekend is. And that's something I can take care of while she's at church on Sunday.... just kidding.

Thank you for this post. That seems to fit the situation very well. Why she can't spell it out like this for me is really too bad. On the other hand, as a dude, how in the world am I supposed to be able to put this all together on my own!? You femininos are a very mysterious bunch. I guess that's what I'll spend my eternity with trying to figure out. I guess it would be stupid to ask why all the pampering and pretending is necessary, since that would be like asking men why they need sports and action movies.

My whole goal here is to gain some additional perspective to her language here. It's hard to get it from her without making her frustrated. She has a tough time putting into words her feelings. I have a tough time making sense of her feelings without them being put into words. Does that make sense? Sometimes, doing what she wants without understanding why, amounts to doing it because it's not worth the frustration on both our parts. I don't see this as much different than you having a hard time understanding your husband. I would say at least I'm working on understanding her better by coming on here. As stupid as it seems to ask complete strangers for their opinions, some people have given quite useful feedback... as opposed to those who want to use this forum as an opportunity to chastise.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Fortunately for us, we rarely argue. This one just sort of came out of nowhere for me. It probably does have something to do with her feeling a bit unappreciated lately. That best explains her adamant position that I take care of the kids alone. I especially appreciate the comments that helped me gain a better perspective.... as for those of you who like to point out our underlying problems, I wish you luck in your future web-forum diagnoses.

You are a clever one. And I'm afraid I have to conclude quite judgmental as well. If you had read the thread, you would notice that I will, in all likelihood, be doing what she asks. It's not worth the argument. I'm on this forum with the hopes of understanding her side better. When I try and get her to explain it to me, it sounds like I have to do it because she wants me to and that should be good enough. Thanks for your condescending reply. I still appreciate the feedback.

No kidding. What do you recommend? We are both stubborn. I don't ever recall winning an argument like this, and to not do as she requests would bring certain wrath. Sometimes these differences seem to materialize out of no where and completely blindside me. My goal is to get a less emotional perspective from a third party on what seems reasonable in this situation.

Thanks for the feedback. As if it weren't obvious, I'm the husband in this scenario. I appreciate the opinions. I all likelihood, I'll be staying home with the kids and not visiting my parents. I've tried explaining to my wife that I can, and will take care of the kids (I do it regularly when she runs errands in the evening for an hour or two at a time), but since there is a lot I need to get done this weekend (not hobbies, but work) I would like to take them to my parents while I run some errands. My goal here is to get some perspectives from people not involved. Obviously, I think I'm right and she thinks she's right. I just can't wrap my head around her reasoning. Perhaps some young moms out there can help me understand why she's requiring me to do it alone. Thanks again.

A mother is leaving her two children (one of which is still breastfed) for four hours on a saturday to pursue a hobby. Because she doesn't believe her Husband understands what it's like to take care of his own children without help, she committed him to stay home and not leave the house at all or associate with anyone who may provide some help watching the children. The husband has various responsibilities (work) requiring his attention on this particular weekend as well as parents who are always asking to see their grandchildren. The husband feels like it is a good idea to kill two birds with one stone by taking the children to his parent's house (allowing them to spend time together) while at the same time, tending to some of his work requirements. Upon informing his wife of his plan, she immediately accuses him of disregarding her wishes and demands emphatically that he stay home and learn what it is like to watch the kids. (Background: everyday after work the husband comes home and dutifully helps with the children without being asked. He regularly bathes, feeds, and puts the older child to bed with a book and a song, cleaning up the dishes afterward - he's not a slacker when he is at home). The young wife points out that the husband has never spent four straight hours alone with the newborn and needs this experience to appreciate what the wife has to deal with everyday. Husband plans on spending the majority of the time with the kids, but wants to provide them some time with the grandparents, allowing him to run some work related errands during this time. The proposed plan presented by the husband sparks an argument with the wife. Who should back down?