islelassie

I see the only healthy way forward is to marry because if you love each other, then it isn't just about sex is it. It is about affection and closeness and comfort. If you intend to be together in marriage, then just marry now. I know you probably want to wait and marry in the Temple but you will damage yourselves and your relationship if you start trying to be something you have long stopped being. We can't have everything in life. Some people I know knew they would break the L of C so they married secretly didn't even tell their parents and a few years along the line they got sealed in the Temple anyway.

Society's messages have changed and we are all of us influenced by society even when it clashes with our religious beliefs. Our children go to mainstream schools and probably spend more time there than they do with parents. When society's norms were chastity outside of marriage, as they were up until about 40 years ago, it wasn't so difficult but now everything is screaming sex and to remain chaste means putting yourself outside of societal norms. Even kids who go to church seem to be having sex more and more before marriage maybe because they are developing physically much earlier- so biological drives to reproduce are also coming earlier. Don't know what the answer is , I have known many devout people who have obeyed everything but the L of C when they fall in love. One young couple who know they were going to break the L of C got married secretly just so they wouldn't do that. Their parents had expected them to wait for several years and they know they couldn't. I guess that was one way around the dilemma when the only reason a couple aren't marrying is because their parents insist they wait.

Realistically, one the transgression has been made, it feels very difficult to go back without feeling rejecting and rejected. There may be genuine reasons why a marriage can't happen right away, and that is the hardest part. It doesn't even matter what age you are, we were in our mid 60s having been widowed and still the need for comfort and I mean comfort not lust was the driving force.