Hi Jackol. I am a female but I do struggle with masturbation as well. I understand how hard it is to change our behaviors sometimes. But I would like to assure you that there are many men and women out there (in the church) who are going through the same challenges as you are. You are not alone. At the same time, it is so frustrating to have this struggle. I have also tried various things to overcome this problem. 12 steps can work for some, but not for all. Prayers work, but I know that you have been trying it so hard. I have few suggestions and maybe you can see if any of them work for you.
There is a group called "Heart 'N Heart" it's a online 12 steps support group. It's pretty good. And they have a book called "Clean hands and pure heart" This book so far is the best 12step book on the subject of porn/masturbation addiction. You might want to check that out. You can buy it online I believe. Another suggestion is the online course for overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors called "Candeo." I'm currently using it and I think it is very good program. It is based on the latest brain science and very practical. As for me, doing 12 steps and Candeo are the best combination. Help from God while utilizing the human wisdom available at this time:)
I hope my suggestion was somewhat helpful for you. But I just want to let you know that I do understand how hard it is to deal with the struggles (although I'm a female). I often feel I am unworthy to be loved by men. And I feel like it is so taboo for women to struggle with this problem in the church, since we are often portrayed as "holy" when it comes to sexual struggles. It makes me feel like I am not a desirable women for men in the church. But I don't think that's what God wants me to view myself. I believe that I have this struggle to learn something from it and grow. And I do know, with all my heart, that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me. They have been extremely merciful and kind to me. How grateful I am for their love.
Jackol, you are a great person who is trying and striving to be better. I know that Heavenly Father is very proud of you for your efforts. And He does understand how hard it is for you to deal with this. He is the Creator of all things. He knows how hard this temptation is for you (and for me). Please remember that you are a beloved son of God and great blessings are awaiting for you!! And I would like to assure you that there are women out there who will love and accept for who you are regardless your struggles. As long as you are trying to be better, there is a way. And I have faith that you will find a wonderful person who will love and accept for who you are. And I also have faith in you (and in myself) that you (and I) will overcome this struggle with help with God:)!
