Tonya9

Yikes! You are going through MAJOR, MAJOR trials. Will pray for you and your famiy. Other than maybe death of a child, this is the worst crisis that could befall people. If you have insurance, which forgive me if you don't: is your wife on anti-depressents? Can you guys try to get enough sleep ---8hrs. minimum, more if you can possiby get it. Are you depressed? You sound real strong, but depression is a physical, not a mental thing, that equates to your being TOTALLY burned out. Well, I've been there a couple times in my life. It's HELL, though I can't imagine the stress and pain you guys must be in. If ya can't do RX anti-depression meds, I'd do St. John's Wart. I know everybody laught at it, but when I didn't have insurance and was beset by a cheatin' non-Mormon spouse, it saved my life. Try to take vitamins too, if ya can afford them which possibly ya can't. And then there is the old addage about, "eating well." Lots and lots of protein. Your body/brain are REALLY going through it and having energy crashes is bad, bad. Somebody told me once, when my Mel Priesthood holding (former) fiance did domestic violence on me, that this Church is true, but the people aren't/ Your guys nerves are rubbed raw right now with all the tribulations in your life. You are very noble to be so concerned about your wife and her welfare. What I did in a situation somewhat like yours was ---write the bishop and/or the stake president a letter and then have an interview with them. Just spill your guts and tell them everything. If these men are living their calings they will show immediate and genuine concern and a genuine desire to assist you in your dire straights. Your dear wife will begin to come around eventually. With your great supportive attitude she's got a real blessing there. If enough people in the church can show her kindness and understanding, she'll get better faster. You may have to "drum up" those people or encourage her to seek out compassionate and caring sisters. (I left the church 20 yrs. ago and just recently re-activated myself so I can understand WHY people become inactive.) Considering that lots of LDS families break up in the circumstances you're in, I can see that you are just a first-class husband and family man. Hope this helps. Tonya (Catherine)

Warm greetings, Brother: I just read your story and there were tears in my eyes. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. Your wife, your kids (to whom you're clearly a GREAT DAD for what it sounds) a long term marriage and well established solid family life --- snatched from you and kept from your reach. Please forgive me if this offends you. It's meant in the spirit of Christian love and empathy. I'm a woman, and divorced from a cheatin' non-Mormon spouse, mind you. So that MIGHT effect my answer. Bro., so very very sorry to have to say this but : your former wife doesn't have your moral fiber, spirituality, or commitment to famiy. She just doesn't Sure you dearly love her and desperatey miss the family life you had. But to be frank ----she just wasn't into parenthood, marriage, and family like you are. Your former wife is a "strayer." If she coud flirt around like she did in secret, hey, she'd do it again if you guys got back together. You DESERVE a sweetheart who has ALL of your values in the same AMOUNT as you do. You live the gospel to the letter; that's obvious. You need time to recover and heal. After that, go to LDS Hearts.com or LDS Planet and start meeting ladies who are a good parallel to your values and spiritual commitments. Make sure they are as fidelity-minded as you are. Your perfect soulmate is out there, but you need to be cautious. Who ever you find will just naturally have a love for your kids, too, and though it's not the same relationship you had as their live-in-dad, you and your new mate can spend happy quality time with your kids and a full, involved, relationship with them is entirely possible. It shounds like your are that sort of dad anyway ----who wants to be involved in everything in his kids' ives I wish for all the world I could tell you something else. Your former marriage is gone. You're a young man and life is too short to spend suffering. Hey, I'm prayin' for ya dude. Happy Fathers' Day, Tonya (Catherine)

Yo, Wingnut: If my veiws offend anyone, please kindly forgive me, ok> The Savior said in the New Testament, "The Sabboth is made for man, not man for the Sabboth." OK, so that leaves the whole issue open to interpretation. "Worship", I believe (but could be wrong, of course) is a word that implies conscious contact with Heavenly Father. Some people MAY BELIEVE I am WRONG to go on jogs through nature of bike rides in the sun on Sunday. For me, this is worship. Mind you, I realize I FIRST need to go to sacrament and my other Sunday meetings at church. That, of course, is my first Sabboth commitment. I had a friend (protestant but not LDS) who would go hunting on Sunday and say, "My back yard is my church!" He didn't worship formally in any church community. I didn't really agree with him because he wasn't meeting the primary requirement of Sabboth which is formal worship in an assembly of believers. Sorry about gettin' too wordy. We are "one nation under God (Heavenly Father)" so I believe any sort of serious (not just beer and the barbecue, watching Fourth of July events on tv, etc.) patriotic event participation on the 4th is a fitting and right thing provided we first go to our meetings. Yours for proud and patriotic living, Tonya (Catherine)

YO! Bumpy; Here's my story, I was an adult convert 20 years ago. Totally Catholic family back to the Second Centry. Ok --- so I made a good start: singles rep, RS chorister, ward organist. Temple endowed the next year and a temple worker. Unfortunately, I became engaged to our wonderful Stake President's first cousin and my bishop's brother-in-law. Everybody warned me about this guy ---a M. Priesthood holder, but I didn't really LISTEN until he hit me in the face so hard it broke my glasses. Soooo, I skyed off and put me exit letter in. Fast forward 17 hrs. ---this is the REAL hillarious part of the story, my teaching cert. is lapsed, so I take a security officer job. The whole FLIPPIN' guard staff are TEMPLE MORMONS!!!! Haaaaahaaahaa. Including my boss, a retired attorney and former bishop. Well, bless 'em, they left me alone, but I started talkin' real soon, 'cause I was hurtin', hurtin', hurtin' One failed marriage to non-Mormon who had a cheatin' problem. Two months after starting working there it was CLEAR:\ I hadn't really had a happy full life since I was in the church. Here's how it usually works, I assume you've already talked to the Missionary dudes, and a bishop. Getting back isn't as fast as when you were baptised but it doesn't take a really long time either, usually. A few months during which time ya go to services, take the sacrament and just act like you normally did. You interview with your stake president who contacts the First Presidency in SLC. They clear it, which in your case unless you were making out with the stake president's daughter or some other big-time sin, should be a piece of cake. The Missionaries give you a fast review of the discussions, you pick your baptismal people and,,, BINGO, you're back !!! And can have your endowments restomed the next year. Hope this sorta answers your question. Usually, ward and stake people are more than glad to help you and getting back is a real relief. It's much to your credit that you didn't stay out as long as I did. Remember, a lot of Joseph Smith's original friends, real greats in the early church, left and came back. Good to have you back were ya belong, Bro. Yours, Tonya (Catherine)

Hey, Dazed: Thanks for the post. Currently, I have a slight lt. arm rotator-cuff injury, so I DECLARE YOU THE WINNER BY DEFAULT. Heeeheeee. Yours for blissful living, Tonya9 (Catherine)

Hey, Joe (That's the title of one of my favorite guitar tunes by Jimmy Hendrickx) !! No, really , Joseph, MY WORD we had a real live Kabahlist here??? Bring him on! Yours for happy times in the Gospel, Tonya9 ( just got here but hopefully I'm open-minded and religiously tolerant)

SALUTATIONS! So very pleased to meet all of you! I am "Tonya9." My former karate instructor and soon to be boyfriend called me "Tonya" all of the time. That's not my real given or middle name and I have NO idea how he came upon it! I am an athlete -- a runner, cyclist, weight lifter. And former PE teacher (I AM feminine --- I'm our RS pianist and I wear pink frilly dresses when I'm not doing sports.) Ah, also I'm an adult convert. I'm 5'2' , 105 lbs of fun-loving muscle. Oh, and I'm a step-grandmother, besides if that makes any difference. Had no kiddies of my own TRULY LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW YOU BETTER!!! (p.s. I'm seperated from my spouse at the present time.)