My little borther, now 35 years old left the church a few years ago. He was raised in the church, went on a mission and graduated from BYU. Just a year after he returned from his mission he told the whole family that he was gay and that he was leaving the church.
My mom almost had a heart attack, she was depressed for days and threaten to leave the church herself. I know that she blame herself saying that she wasnt a good enough example to my little brother and questioned Heavenly Father why He would punish her in this way.
It took her a few weeks, or months to realize that he was still her son, no matter what. That love him and pray for him was all that she could do. She didn't want to lose the realionship she had with him and she swallowed her pride and accepted him and he is now back in her life.
I know that the situation is not the same as the one with your brother. But I think all moms have their dreams for thier children when they grow up, my mom lost the dream that she had for him to see him marry in the temple.
