My testimony has wavered. I have a very hard time reading the Book of Mormon because I start to feel that it may not be authentic. Yet there are times that it does feel that it is authentic and so try to plow forward in reading. However my doubts have troubled me for several years yet I have tried to ignore them and have stayed active in the church. I haven't wanted to share specifics about my doubts to others because I don't want to create doubts in their minds and do not let on to others about my doubts. There are some great spiritual experiences that I can't deny so I have had so I try to rely on that to escape my doubts.
I have recently been involved in a relationship that has overstepped bounds in chastity. I want to repent and have met with bishop before on the matter. It is necessary to meet with him again about continued chastity issues but I am starting to wonder if all of that is in vain. My doubts in the validity of the church make me think whether moving forward in repentance and working with a priesthood leader in that matter is also in vain but I am working toward that end.
I am just wondering how to approach this all. Should I be afraid to talk about these doubts with some trusted members? I am afraid that it will cloud their perception of me and open me up to a barrage of concern that is exaggerated and unrelated. I have thought of sharing this with my bishop but, although a very good man, I have a very hard time talking to him.
What is your wise counsel?
