[Seriousness of masturbation?]

in the case of masterbation, LOL,

experiment: live a life of abstinence (so DON'T do it)

knowledge which cannot be found through debate: you are able to create an incredibly strong life-long pair bond in which all vasopressin receptors & reward pathways are wired to each-other

problem is, sometimes the experiment is hard to do apparently (I wouldn't know, I'm a girl

What does being a girl have to do with it? There probably aren't as many females that masturbate as there are males, but it is a problem for both genders.

Now that the thread has shifted to politics, I suppose I should invoke Hitler so we can just end it.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

Again this is referring to masturbation addiction.

Anyone that has done it more than once or twice is probably addicted. If you don't think you're an addict, just try to never do it again.

(Not to say it's impossible to stop - it's possible but very difficult. It took me about 20 years.)

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

For those that are unconvinced about the physical affects of masturbation and pornography, there is a good book called "He Restoreth My Soul: Understanding and Breaking the Chemical and Spiritual Chains of Pornography through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" by Don Hilton, who is a neurosurgeon.

You can see him talk about it some here:

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

No you just made a statement and i asked people to verify it being I've been told by more than a few others that it can no longer be ordered.

Well, I was speaking from personal experience. I asked my bishop about it, and he said it is still in print and handed me a copy.

If you still don't believe me, I guess you can either go to the Distribution Center yourself, or if you know someone in a leadership position, they can access it online in the "Sensitive Materials" section of the ldscatalog.org web site.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

I have read the same. It can desensitive a person and lead to ED or inability to climax during intercourse. If I'm not mistaken, that might be hurtful to a wife. :) There is also the issue of it becoming a habit until they feel like they "need" visual aids or it "takes too long".

Masturbation isn't about a need. It's about instant gratification.

This is not just a male problem, either. There are women that get to the point that they can only climax using mechanical help.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

I thought it was common knowledge, but a couple of places I've heard/read it are first from a family therapist who counsels couples where sex addiction is a factor, and second (and not so reliably I suppose) from a sex/relationship therapist who has a column on cnn.com. The first therapist was a woman who I heard speak and has at least a book or two out, but I'd have to dig around to find my notes and her name. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it that I'm not just shooting from the hip.

That's true. I actually know someone that has that problem.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

Hmmmm I thought for young men only was taken out of circulation, can anyone really verify it's still available for order?

Yes, I thought that's what I just did.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

Wow. Lots of activity here in the day or two since my last post. After doing a bit of skimming, I'd like to point out that although Pres. Packer's talk "For Young Men Only" apparently is not available on the church's web site, it is still being published as a pamphlet that priesthood leaders can order.

If there's any doubt that the church condemns masturbation, take a look here: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Search

This makes it particularly clear:

"God has never changed His laws and commandments concerning sexual sin, although man has tried to change them to suit his own pleasure. The law of chastity means that a man must not have intimate physical relations with anyone except his own wife. The Lord has commanded, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). The law of chastity is not limited to just adultery, however. It extends to all improper uses of the divine power of procreation. Among the other ways man misuses this sacred power are fornication (including living together without marriage), homosexuality, abortion, and masturbation." ( Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood: Basic Manual for Priesthood Holders, Part A Lesson 34: Moral Cleanliness )

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

I'm not going to try to talk you out of that, because in many ways I think that the people in those programs have a healthier attitude than the rest of the church population does. You're taught to love and accept yourself despite your "addiction," and to not see it as a life-shattering failure if you give in again. I've seen how people draw closer to their god and his love that way, and how it gives them the strength to overcome the guilt and shame taught by their parents and other church leaders.

For me, the guilt and shame are the biggest things to overcome, not what I consider to be natural and healthy sexual behaviors. (And for those of you playing at home, the two are linked, because guilt and shame fuel addictive behaviors. So even if your goal is to stop every Mormon teen and husband from masturbating, you're defeating the purpose by shaming them.) Insofar as your program has helped you with that, I'm okay with it.

Once you admit you have a problem, bring it out into the open so it's no longer a secret, and work towards overcoming it, there is no guilt and shame left. :)

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

Feathertail,

I'm sorry you've had such a rough time. Masturbation is actually very, very common. But it is also something that can be overcome.

I suppose I was fortunate, because the first time I confessed to a bishop, as a teenager, he told me "There are 2 kinds of boys - those that masturbate, and those that lie." While that may not be completely accurate, even Spencer W. Kimball called it a "common indiscretion."

The way that these problems are treated in the church has changed in recent years. Leaders are now trained to be more sensitive and helpful when people come to them about pornography and masturbation.

Besides meeting regularly with my bishop, something that has helped me is to attend the weekly Addiction Recovery Program meetings run by LDS Family Services. They have special meetings in many areas for those involved in pornography, masturbation, and other sexual addictions. It is helpful to be able to meet with others that have common problems and share hope and talk about how we can be healed through the atonement. You can find out more here: Addiction Recovery Program

[Sexting]

It's been discussed before, though the thread is in the open forum to which you may have to ask pam for access to (assuming you are over 18).

http://www.lds.net/forums/adult-advice/36532-intimacy-marriage.html

So how exactly does one get access to this?

[Sexting]

Flirting is great, even and especially if you're in the same room. :)

However, do you really want to be turning your spouse on when you're "separated for long periods of time"? That seems like a short road to trouble.

[Seriousness of masturbation?]

I have talked to many bishops over the last 25 years about masturbation, and none of them have ever told me that I had no need to come to them.

I actually debated with myself about whether or not I needed to tell my mission president, when I had a slip up on my mission, and ultimately decided not to. That was the wrong choice. Unfortunately, it took me another 15 years to overcome the problem, with the help of a loving bishop.