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For me, pondering the possibility of the “pre-destined” spouse is easier if I strip away the mythical and fairy-tale-ending aspects of the idea and just take a straightforward look at what it would really entail. Mormon theology and doctrine provide me a few basic truths to start off with: The pre-existence was a real place where we really existed before we were born. Whatever happened to us before we were born happened to us there.We learned and advanced ourselves there while we interacted with each other and with Heavenly Father.God has given us agency or choice. The only possible way to lose one’s agency is to give it away to Satan through sin and put oneself in his power.When this Earth was being planned, certain spirits were foreordained to do and be certain things during their time in mortality.Foreordination does not remove choice. It just means someone voluntarily accepted an assignment before mortal life to do something during mortal life. I like to think of foreordination as an opportunity—kind of like God saying, “This is one particular part of my plan that I’d like you to tackle during your mortal experience.” We do have to be foreordained to be given a shot at it, but ultimately we decide during this life if we’re actually going to go through with it.Foreordination is not the same thing as a commandment. It’s an assignment you agreed to try and do here on Earth that can be completed by obeying commandments and following the Holy Ghost’s promptings. Following God’s will means you’ll complete the assignment and get more blessings, not following just means you won’t complete the assignment and will miss out on the blessings and opportunities that you might have had. You only need to repent for the individual sins you committed along the way when you didn’t follow his will.With those fundamentals in mind, the concept of “destiny” is much easier for me to understand: There are no mysterious cosmic forces or planetary alignments making decisions or planning out history behind the scenes. If destiny means something decided before we were born, that just means God and us agreed on it in the pre-existence.Destiny cannot mean something a person must inevitably do no matter what they choose or wish. That’s not how God’s law works and is impossible. (The only possible actions we can do that completely discount our agency are the ones that Satan controls after we have given him our will through sinning. And even those weren’t decided before we were born.)Destiny can be used as a substitute word for Foreordination, and is quite often. However, destiny in that sense has to mean “an appointment by Heavenly Father in the pre-existence to fulfill a specific mission during mortality.”So if someone were “destined” to be a prophet, that really means that in the pre-existence, God wanted to give this person the responsibility to be a prophet during mortality and that this guy accepted the assignment. That doesn’t necessarily mean he will do it, has to do it, or has completely failed at life if he doesn’t do it. “Destined” means if this man is righteous and follows God will in this life, he’ll be given the opportunity to fulfill the “prophet” assignment that he agreed to before he was born.Likewise, if you say that you and your companion were “destined” be together, what you’re really saying is that in the pre-existence, Heavenly Father had an assignment for the two of you to be eternal companions. You both voluntarily agreed to fulfill this assignment and be sealed together in mortality. This “destined” union only meant that you two would be given an opportunity to fulfill the assignment if you both followed God’s will here on Earth. Does God work this way with eternal companions? I don’t really know. This is just my understanding of how God handles aspects of His plan that had to be agreed upon before we were born. Adam and Eve is one example already mentioned where this would seem to be the case. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were others. However, if we believe that “many are called but few are chosen,” then that would need to apply to these kinds of “callings” as well. Apart from Christ, no one is absolutely indispensable in their role in God’s plan. His plan will go forth no matter who should fall. I don’t even think examples like those patriarchal blessing promises necessarily mean those individuals are supposed to marry one specific person. First of all, a patriarchal blessing is a promise of possible blessings conditioned upon righteousness, not a fortune cookie. So that’s not a destined companion as much as a great opportunity that God would like to bless you with if you allow Him to through your righteousness. Also, statements about knowing one’s spouse in the pre-existence might not mean what we think. I’d wager we knew and loved a whole bunch of people during the pre-existence, kind of like we know and love many now. And a promise from God that we will know when we meet him or her could mean He’ll tell us if any of the really awesome ones from our pre-mortal social circle cross our path. But maybe it doesn’t have to be about destiny or foreordination at all. What if we were able to make a request here and there, and our desires were taken into account even if no promises could be made. It’s not too difficult for me to imagine someone saying in the pre-existence, “Heavenly Father, I really want to spend eternity with this person. If that fits in with your will, could you help that to happen while we’re living on the Earth?” We say these kinds of prayers all the time now, and God accommodates our righteous desires whenever he can. Is that so different? Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, these are a few of my thoughts on the subject.