imdonel8r
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Posts posted by imdonel8r
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Have you thought about bring up some of your questions to your teachers? Maybe in Gospel Principles? I actually was visited by the missionaries for 2 years before I was baptized after my wedding.
I think one thing you need to think hard and long about is why you are having a hard time with the missionaries not seeing you regularly? Missionaries change out often so you will not always have the same relationship with them. Not to mention after your baptized you will be seeing the missionaries much less.
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Sorry its kind of hard to fit in everything . So it gets kind of confusing.
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Either I'm really stupid or I read too fast. I read your post several times and it still came across a tad confusing.
Keep going to therapy sessions. Does your husband think you have mental issues as well or just the family?
Short story . Is my MIL went around trying to tell people she thought I was Bipolar and OCPD. My FIL went online and printed an article and highlight things that they thought fit what they thought was wrong with me . Even though they barely know me . So my H looked at these and said ( to himself) okay maybe she could have somethings and then he waited till the results came back
Unless I misunderstood something the money issue is either being responsible adults by spending your money wisely to meet ends each month or he is being controlling.
My H makes good money he just got a new job this year making ALOT more than he use to .
Have you tried to invite maybe his best friend/family over to do prayer or home evening with everyone? He might join in then which might help him get back into the swing of things.
His family is totally against practicing any sort of religion . So thats not really an option. I have talked to friends of ours at church about doing maybe a few big FHE activates. Were just waiting till after the holidays. We have had members " challenge : him to do FHE and prayer and he just doesn't
You can solve the visiting teacher issue by simply talking to someone about it.
I am actually the VT supervisor :) Theres alot of people in our ward who do not have VTs. There trying to work out some new system or at least thats what there telling us.
I see that your husband is using the "my way" or the "highway" approach to dealing with you. He needs to treat you like an adult. Adults learn to communicate with each other. Right now he is simply dismissing your feelings or opinions over every little thing but honey it doesn't really justify a divorce. You guys are just going through a rocky road right now but divorce is a extreme decision to a small issue.
Well I am not the one who "wants the divorce" . He is kind of forcing the issue with the my way or highway deal.
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So its more a case of he changed after marriage then. Does he discuss this at all with you? Sounds like he needs to be aware he is following in a family trait that is not acceptable. I have talk to him about it but he just brushes me off
You are a smart lady to get on the offense with the husbands ex as far as mental health issues. Very nice you came back 'clean' on it too! Did your husband take the test as well? No he did not but he was discussing the other day to have him and the ex take it too
I almost feel like he is using me as a 'free babysitter' .
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Sometimes its just a case of borrowing trouble which is why I am a little confused about your reasons for going to therapy.
Well I started going so I could take the test .
Your husband sounds like he is a bit controlling and you let him. Maybe that works for you? Or has in the past? Now you are changing the rules? Not that I wouldn't.
No it doesn't work for me , never has. When we first got together he wasn't like this. Then we got married and then its like a switch was pushed. The more I am around my ILs I see that kind of relationship with their marriage. /I]
Does he attend these sessions with you? He has gone to one session and one more coming up He pays for the sessions but not for new clothes? With our insurance you get 3 "free" sessions . But the next one coming up yes we are paying a small fee for.
Are you having money problems? Nope not at all. H actually just got a better job and is making ALOT more than he was. Who isnt?!! Maybe that is why he is not willing to spend more money?
Personally I would never let any man tell me I can not buy something. Discuss it with me and we can reach an agreement but to say no? Thats rather overbearing. I agree . Thats why we are on the verge of a divorce But that is me not you.
Thanks for your comments :)
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So you liked going to therapy?
No not really. What happen was my MIL went around trying to tell people that I was Bipolar and OCPD . Well I took the test and it came back negative . It actually said I have no mental illness at all. The reason I took the test is because with court for SS ( stepson) we didn't want it to come up later and then have to take the test and hold up court or anything just incase SS mom brought it up.
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I go to therapy with a psychologist , long story short , I started going because I took the MMPI-2 test which is a personality test , to prove that I did not have any mental illness. But its a fairly common test. But anyway i stayed on for therapy sessions . i finally got my H to come to one and it helped a little but we have another one scheduled this week.
Anytime my husband and I have a conversation about anything he writes me off, usually by saying something along the lines of oh " your just being negative" instead of actually listening to whats being said. Or if I say " I'm not comfortable with XYZ ". He would say " If you don't like it leave. We can get a divorce. get out of my house." Over the smallest things.
But to me all these small things are adding up. I don't feel he is upholding his ' marriage responsibilities " and lets people walk all over us. Anytime I bring up something I almost feel like he uses the "I don't care " and stuff will just fall into place on there own attitude . He seems like he also uses " what options least effect me at the moment attitude". He is also doing ultimatums for instance, I am a stay at home step mom so I wanted to get a treadmill off CL for $50 so I could exercise while SS napped. I was talking to DH about it and he said that was fine. So I would show DH ads for treadmills I found. Well about 2 months and still no treadmill. I needed more clothing so I asked H for cash and he like "Here's $50 you can buy cloths, your treadmill, or whatever you want." I was like " But you already said I could get a treadmill." Then he was like " Well you can only have the treadmill or cloths. " That's just one example.
I know some might think its petty stuff . But there's so much more . But I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me when we go to the therapy session?
Little back information. My H was baptized 10 years ago and I was baptized a year ago. My husband refuses to do prayer or FHE no matter how much anyone talks to him about it . I mean he walks out of the room when I do it with my SS. I don't know what else to do . We had a meeting ( about tithing settlement) with the Bishop and I brought up the divorce issue and basically the bishop didn't say much. My husband has a calling in boy scouts with the bishop. So I am not sure if he was just surprised to her about this or what not. We have a home teacher but he hasn't been here in probably 10 months and I don't have a visiting teacher.
Well Thanks in Advance.
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I have been listening to a lot of talks lately and reading alot and they talk alot about " marriage responsibilities" but what are marriage responsibilities as pertaining to the church ?
How Can Bishops be Counselors?
in General Discussion
Posted
From my experience the Bishop refers you to LDS family services which have licensed counselors . LDS Family Services