Max3732

Thanks again for the tremendous input. The length of time is probably going to be in the 2 to 4 week range, but it could be longer. Before this conversation they told me they could see a lot of progress in me and I also just a week before told them that I was no longer afraid of baptism and its something I could see myself doing, which has never happened before. As a result of the conversation and just how "robot like" their reaction was when I told them my mom had taken a turn for the worse and how they didn't seem to care what she or my family was going through I've seriously reconsidered the idea of baptism. When I was meeting with them I was reading everyday and also reading talks online. Now I can barely stand to look at the stuff, although I did attend church. Cutting down the frequency of meeting would have made a lot of sense, but the ultimatum (get baptized or we won't talk to you) really stung. As I mentioned before the members couldn't be nicer, although I still find it odd that they said we should keep track of who doesn't come and then contact them to make sure they come next week. They've also talked about going to the rescue of people who haven't gone to church in a while. I'm not someone who wants to explain why I went or didn't go to church and don't think its anyone's business how often I go. When they pass around the attendance sheet I never sign it because I don't like the idea of them keeping a record. If someone says they didn't go because they were busy would the members push them on it or leave them with some privacy? I haven't gone to all 3 meetings every week. I'm usually late for sacrament meeting and I've also left elder's quorum early numerous times. I don't want to repeat the conversation with the branch president cause I don't know if he's reading this and I don't want to be identified. The main thing I can think of that may have caused him to start lecturing was that I didn't readily agree with everything he was saying. As far as asking doctrine questions here, I may give that a try although its a little different than having a person in front of you explaining it.

Thanks for your help everyone. If this is too much info I'm posting let me know I've been going to church nearly every Sunday and have met a lot of people at church besides the missionaries. Where I go to church is a branch, not a ward so there isn't a ward mission leader here. The members are extremely nice and lot are returned missionaries, but they're all busy with school/work and I don't feel right asking to meet with them regularly although I'm sure they would do it. I haven't had much luck with the bishop either. I came in with several specific questions that I wanted to have addressed, but instead he asked me some general questions then basically just lectured me the whole time in a way that wasn't very helpful. Before this whole thing with the missionaries I felt like baptism wouldn't be that big a deal since I already live and act like a member on most issues (and have my whole life). After discussing it with my dad some more we're both kind of taken back and shocked by how uncaring and pushy the missionaries came across. Today my dad asked me if I'd really want to join a church that values baptism over the health of a close family member and where teaching is dependent on joining first. One of his concerns (and mine too) is that the church might use being nice and all these activities to get people to do things and say that the church family is more important than your own family. From talking to people in the branch a lot of them don't have good relationships with their family or had all kinds of problems. I don't know if this is just a reflection of society in general or if these are the kind of people who join. My reason for posting this is not to vent, but figure out if most missionaries follow what Loudmouth_Mormon posted about the 2 questions he'd ask or if the missionaries are taught that whatever happens in the investigators life they need to use it to get him baptized.

I'm not bashing anyone with my questions. The kinds of questions I'm asking are things I haven't understood in church, questions about what I've read in the book of Mormon, questions about how getting baptized affects day to day life, questions about things said by the prophets in the last 50 years or so and more detailed questions about the basic lessons. Also, just having them share gospel stories or talks helps a lot. The 3 hours of church can be overwhelming and its difficult not having anyone I can talk to about what's going on there. It's certainly not just "hanging out" One of my friends also suggested I listen as they teach others and I've brought up that idea but they've never invited me to come along. I try to research my questions online, but there's often too much info on lds.org or not enough. When I do general searches I also get too much extra info. They also seemed to say that I should just do it then even if she's firmly against it at that point it would be too late. Without going into too much detail me getting baptized would be very difficult for her and cause a lot of problems right now. Hopefully in a few months she'll be better and it won't be an issue. By then I'm not sure if I can continue learning everything on my own or if I'll want to do this without some kind of help. In short, I feel like I need guidance and just maintenance with what I've learned already, but they're saying "get baptized or we will not help you anymore"

I've been investigating the church on and off for the past couple years. I'd been meeting with missionaries in my area several times a week and they went through all the lessons again and answered a bunch of my questions. Periodically they've asked me to think about baptism dates, which I have and I've pushed back. I'm someone whose been following commandments like the word of wisdom my whole life and have basically been following most of the teachings, but I'm still not comfortable with some of the more specific doctrine like exultation. Despite this the missionaries and people in the ward all think I'm ready to get baptized as its only a first step. In my last meeting with the missionaries I told them my mom is sick and I don't want to get baptized till she gets better as I don't want to put more stress on her and make her worse. I don't know if they didn't understand or they've been taught to push baptism, but they didn't seem to care and just reiterating how important baptism is and that I should do it anyway. I told them they've done a great job explaining and helping me learn and that even though I'm not going to get baptized for a little while I gain a lot from discussing my concerns and meeting with them. After this I could see a huge change in them and they said their purpose is to bring people to Christ to get baptized and that if I'm not going to do it there's nothing else for them to teach me. I asked them to meet again and they said it depends on whether I'll get baptized. Basically now I feel like the missionaries have gone from friends helping me understand the LDS gospel to used car salesman trying to ring up numbers and when they realized I wasn't going to buy the car from them they don't want to spend anymore time on me. If I want to learn more should I forget about these missionaries completely and try talking the ones on mormon.org or will I have the same problem with them? One of the negative things I've heard about the church is that they care more for other members than their own families and this experience of wanting baptism for me now rather than waiting a few months even if it makes my mom seriously ill kind of confirms that. So is that unusual?