Your right she does need to revamp her thinking and discover her worth. Perhaps she and other sisters who are feeling the same way are acting like victims because up until now that is all they have known in their life. What a blessing it is to have relief society to help women who have been treated like victims all their lives to learn there is a difference between being a servant and being submissive. Suppose you are in a garage and it's filled with cars and tools of every kind to fix these cars. And all the mechanics are looking at you and saying be of service and grab the right tools and fix the ping ping noise in this car. Yes, the tools are all there but, do know what they are or how to use them much less figure out what and how to take what ever apart to fix it. Being a mechanic is a learned skilled. Doesn't mean that you don't know how to utilize skills of service out side of the garage shop. If I happened to be in a garage with my son in-law and his friends who are mechanics, I will not just jump in to help because I don't know the ends and outs of the garage shop and my efforts to help may end up slowing the process of their work. Instead I will stand back and watch, if someone were to say hey grab the tool that looks like.... and bring it here for me. Cool, I have been of service. Maybe a small step but, I know that I have helped which makes me feel good. I have learned about a new tool and something else it can be used for. Sometimes as a sister in a new environment such as relief society feels the same and shouldn't be expected to know all the ropes even if they were born members. And for most of us self esteem and self worth is also learned and gained in small steps. Perhaps instead of feeling annoyance (which trust me, your sister who feels out of place can and will read, will internalize your vibes as she is not worthy enough and will eventually effect the sister hood as a whole) you could be part of the solution by inviting the sister who doesn't feel she fits in to help with a meal at a church function or to tag along and be a chaperone for the youth. If she says she doesn't know how or what to do, just smile and assure her it will be fine that you just need an extra hand. This way she can transform into the beautiful sister she is meant to be while gaining herself respect and self-worth at her own pace. A win win for everyone. You would be surprised at how much a sister who feels out of place can feel accepted and also so humbled honored and blessed by such a kind gesture. How awesome you will feel about yourself watching that transformation grow a step at a time.
