Lainee82

I hope you are right Eowyn. Thank you all for your comments. It means a lot to me to hear all your comments and suggestion.

I know Heavenly Father loves me. He will show me a way to get through this. I pray everyday for my husband to be faithful to me and love me as before.

I have never imagined I have to go through this. He has been faithful to me the last 7 years. This is the biggest trial in my life. I'm trying so hard to keep my family together. Please pray for me. I need strength to go through this.

Hi Misshalfway, I totally agree with you post. I know his reaction is not right but I don't know how to bring this up to him again. He was mad when I asked him last time and he said he would drive me there but it never happened. He did not mention about taking me there again and I'm afraid that if I asked him to take me there he will be really upset. I love my kids and I don't want them to have to go through what I did when my parents got divorce. I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids. I don't have a job and if we have to get a divorce he will have the kids. I don't want that to happened. I love him so much and I love my family. It breaks my heart when I think about what he did. But it will be more painful if my family break apart. To me family is the most important thing in my life. I want to believe that he will not do that again but after listen to what you all said I'm so afraid that he does not love me any more.

Hi Wingnut, It is sad to see more people does not have the traditional values.

Hi Ms Magnolia, Thank you for your advice. The first couple days after the incident he was really sorry and asked how to make it up to me. A week later he acted like nothing ever happened. I have to keep asking him to spend time with me. It seems that I'm the only one try to make things work around here. I can't say or complain any more because it just make him really upset. I just have to hold in it and get to talk to everyone here. He says he loves me and if I remind him about spending time with me then he will try to do so. I wonder if his love for me has change. Like last night he got home from work and as usual he used the bathroom for close to 30 minutes then worked out then helped me with the kids. After the kids were in bed he went to lay down with my son and did not come out until 9:30 and then used the computer the whole time he was up. Then we went to bed. Does every couples like this or just mine? It is hard and I found a talk from President Henry B. Eyring from the last conference : Mountains to climb. I felt good after read the talk but I still feel like I'm stuck in this situation without a solution.

So does that mean it is normal for them to do that "happy ending" to the customer? What wrong with these people? It is not right to touch others in the private part like that. Just think about it make me want to throw up.

I talked with the Bishop last Sunday and he told me to be patient and I have to trust my husband. I did talk with his mom because his dad cheated on her for 27 years and I want some advice from her and she told me that I have to serve him and make him know that I love him. I'm afraid if I talk again about this subject he will have nothing to do with me. I'm just try to be happy with what I got. I don't know if it is a right decision or not.

I will have to look it up to see if they have a real physical therapy here. The thing is I don't trust any of those place now. Before we move to Thailand he would not go get a massage if I could not accompany him. He told me it doesn't feel right to have other women massage his body.

How can I get over it just like that? Is that to man it is not a big deal? I can't say anything now because he said he hated it when I keep saying about my feelings. Thanks everyone for listening to me and give me advices. I feel better to be able to get it out of my chest.

Here in Thailand there are a ton of those massage places. I have no idea they would do that. I don't know what to say to him. He said it is the best to not talk about it any more. I agreed we have to move on. I texted him and said I was afraid if I keep talking about it will make him stay away from me and make him remember the feeling when she did that to him and he said yes.

I told him he can never go get a massage again. I will learn how to massage and I will give him massage not other women. I'm disgusted in those women.

Yes, it was a foot massage but they do massage shoulder and back for about 30 minutes at the end

Hi everyone, Last time I posted is when my husband told me about he went to get a massage and let the lady massage his private part also. He talked with the bishop and he promised me he will never put himself in that situation again. So the reason he need to get massage is because he was in a horrible car accident when he was 17. From that point his back is always hurting. I had never worried about him go get a massage before. Because he is the kind of guy that loves his family and always disgusted at guy who cheated on their wife. After that incident he asked me again if he could go and get a massage because his back was in a lot of pain. I said I trusted in him and reminded him to go to a different place that out in the open so that nothing can happen. The first time he came home and said the massage help his back and he was out in the open. The second time he came home and told me that I need to learn how to massage because this time he went to a different place with the last time and the lady offered that again. He refused and told her that he came here for a back massage only because he has a bad back. I couldn't sleep that night because the image of the other woman touching him make me sick. I tried so hard not to think about it and move on. Now again this happened . I trusted him that he really did not let the lady did it. But it still made e feel uneasy about it. I emailed him the next day and tell him that he broke his promise with me. He put himself in that situation again and I told him that the spirit was not in that place with him. I also told him that I was disappointed in him for not telling the lady that it is wrong to even offer that to him or anybody and that he is married with kids. The next morning he told me that he did tell the lady he is married but he didn't say that when he told me. That weekend I got to go grocery shopping and happened to pass by the place where he said he got the massage and the lady offered him the service but he refused. I walked up and down the street but see no massage place at all. So I called him and asked where is place because I'm here and see no place like he said. He got really mad and said he would tale me there when I got back and hung up on me. I was confused and hurt. I don't know if my husband lied to me or not. He made me feel like I was wrong to asked him about that. That was suppose our Friday night to do something fun together. I was hoping to watch a movie with him but he was mad at me for that call and would not speak to me and went to bed early. He did not think why I did not trust him. I was so sad and said sorry to him for making him mad. I wanted to spend sometimes with him but he refused and went to bed. I then came to the bed room and asked him if he want to get a divorce. He said no. He said he hated these. He said I have been so emotional and keep saying how I feel unloved and stuff. He said he hated it. He didn't think why I was like that. We haven't been on a date for at least 5 months. His routine is coming home from work then use the bathroom for 30 minutes then go work out for 30 minutes then play with kids then put them to bed and use the computer. I don't get to spend anytime with him at all. He thinks just his presence in the same room with me that mean he is spending time with me. I don't know what to do. The last two nights I knew his back was hurting so I offered to give him a massage but he refused. I'm so confused. I love him so much and I don't want to loose him. I try so hard to be close to him but to me it seem like he keeps pushing me away. I'm so tired and feeling lonely. I do read scripture everyday with him and the kids and read by myself sometimes. It does help me but I just need some advice on how to deal with this. Please help me. Thank you

Thank you so much for your advice Windseeker and Misshalfway. I talked with the Bishop and he will meet with us this coming Sunday. I think you both were right. He is trying to fix it and he told me that it is so embarrassing to him. He said he is disgusted at himself and I should be too. I told him I'm disappointed in him but I'm not disgusted at him. I told him I forgive him but I need sometime to be heal. I have been trying to put the smile on my face so that he doesn't keep on punishing himself for making me like that. It is so hard. I did read the book of Mormon and prayed a lot. I did feel comfort and love from Heavenly Father for me. I know we will work things out. I love him so much and I will try my best to keep my marriage. I know he loves me a lot too. Thank you again for your advice. It does make me feel better to be able to talk to someone about my problem. Lainee

Hello everyone, I'm really depress right now and need some advice for my marriage. I have been married for over 7 years and have 3 beautiful children.. Last week my husband went to get a foot massage. He came home and cried to me and said he did something really bad. He said the lady did his foot massage put her hand inside his pants and he didn't say anything. He said she play with his private part for while. He felt terrible for doing that. I was in shock. My husband is a good father and husband. I have never thought something like this will happen. He has always been faithful to me. And so did I. We both come from broken family. And the reason my parents and his parents got divorce is because one of them were unfaithful to the other. I have never thought I will have to face this in my marriage. I could not eat or sleep for the last 3 days. I could not talk to anyone. I don't want to tell my mother because she will be worry for me. I can't talk to his mom because I love her and she has already been through that and to her we are one happy family. I don't want to make her sad either. My husband and I have not gone on a date for 3 or 4 months. I have been talking to him about we need to spend time together but he keeps on putting it off. He said he loves me but I feel like he does not. He fasted and talked with the Bishop about what happened. We have been going to Thai ward in Bangkok and we have been doing family home evening with the young single adults in the ward because all of them are only member in their family. We talked about it last night and I said let's just do it once a month and he asked why not at least twice a month. I got mad and not talking to him. I thought after what happened he would want to spend more time with me to make it up to me, to make me know that he does love me. But he got mad and said he wants to do twice a month because he wants to serve. Is it me being selfish ? I thought family is the most important thing and right now my family is not doing well and is it wrong of me to ask him to be with the family. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here in Thailand with nobody to talk to. I just feel so lonely and unloved. Please pray for me and give me some advice. Thanks so much, Lainee