Rabboni
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Posts posted by Rabboni
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Just how many married men have you talked to about their struggles with masturbation and pornography? And why?
Multitudes, in my capacity as a priesthood leader.
And you?
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An "excuse"? Sounds like you have the attitude that people should stay married no matter what.
What direct experience do you have with being married to someone who is addicted to pornography? Addicted to alcohol? Someone who is unwilling/unable to change?
It's not that I don't value marriage or that I think people ought to bail at the first sign of trouble. But I do feel that divorce is sometimes the best solution.
Based on what I've read of the advice you've given to many different people on this forum, you appear to feel that frequently.
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I swear, there should be a 50 post minimum before one is allowed to give advice in the marriage forum.
Yes, because advising someone to follow the Lord's Law of Health is bad advice.
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An overweight, 30-something woman in my ward who has *9* kids (widowed) recently got engaged to a wonderful man, so don't count yourself out. The only men who will find you worthless are worthless men.
Outlying data points and singular anecdotes aside, my point stands.
You have good reason to try to save your current marriage. The grass is NOT greener. And I'm glad you know that. Too many people on these forums will try to convince you to "ditch the zero and find a hero."
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Are you saying that she should have sex more with her husband? And that will help his gambling habit/addiction, degrading actions/words and fix the marriage? Is THAT what you are saying?
To answer the first question: Yes. It might bring them closer together.
To answer the other questions: No, I didn't say that. Please don't put words in my mouth.
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*double-face palm* I'm sorry, but is this for real? I mean, really? I mean, what is the first lesson learned in marriage... all together now... "You don't get married for sex!"
Nice strawman. I never said that people should get married for sex.
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That's right. Just give him more sex. Don't require him to grow up and be a real man or anything. Don't require him to take responsibility for his life and his impact on others.
No...just make yourself into a prostitute and all your problems will be gone.
Um, having relations with your spouse isn't prostitution. It's kind of part of the marriage agreement.
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I hope you would apply the same standard to yourself if your wife died.
Absolutely. I wouldn't do that to her. I know she'd be heartbroken if I did.
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If I'm not willing to forgive in the resurrection, I dare say any question about whether I "want" my wife - or any other family member - sealed to me in the eternities will be entirely moot.
Oh, I wouldn't begrudge her her place in the Celestial Kingdom. I just wouldn't be interested in her after that point. I'm not implying that she'd be guilty of any sin that would require forgiveness by me or anyone else.
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I don't think I would want my wife after the resurrection if I knew that she had been involved sexually with another man after my death. I don't think I'd be able to cope with that image.
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Before you exercise the nuclear option of divorce, you might try giving him more intercourse, and seeing whether that helps. It's worth a shot, no?
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You should probably enroll in an exercise program and see your doctor about a weight loss plan. It will help your health and make you feel better about yourself. Plus, it's kind of part of the Word of Wisdom anyway.
I'll be blunt. If you're significantly overweight and getting on in years, your chance of remarriage with any guy who isn't a complete loser are vanishingly slim. Even thin older women must face the fact that their looks have faded and their value in the marriage marketplace has declined significantly relative to men their same age.
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Please also, consider, OP, that some of the advice you have been heeding is from people WHO ARE NOT EVEN MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH (at least, not yet!)
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My advice is the same that you'll find in the scriptures: Love your husband as Christ loves the church. Endure to the end. Do not divorce him. Divorce is not a solution.
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I would not throw any phones in any toilets.
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The chances are incredibly slim that a 21-year-old virgin male will want to marry a 39-year-old divorced female with two children. Let it go. I'll be blunt. He's got much better prospects.
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Do not divorce him. Honor your covenants. Endure to the end. Love him as Christ loves the church. That is the advice from the scriptures and the prophets.
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According to Ephesians 5, your wife is supposed to submit to you. Read that to her and demand that she comply.
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Apostasy of a spouse is not an excuse for divorce. And that's right from the Bible.
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Good for you for making the effort to try to keep your marriage together.
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Most married men I've talked to only had this problem because their wives were withholding sex from them. And of those whose wives stopped withholding sex from them, the problem vanished.
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Pornography is a problem.
However, it is not an excuse to divorce your spouse, any more than your spouse having a drinking or smoking problem is an excuse to divorce your spouse.
These are problems to be worked on, not a reason to end your marriage. And certainly not a reason to remarry someone else instead of trying to reconcile.
Divorce Advice?
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
I think that statistics will bear out that LDS people generally live better, happier, lives than the average person on the street. How do they do it? They should know.
Consider the source, that's all I'm saying. Many of the people giving advice here are (based on what they've disclosed about their own lives in their own threads) not really in a good position to do so.