amateurMominZion

Thanks for these other points of view. It gives me some things to think about. And it makes it easier to turn it over to God and let Him take care of it. I have found more peace about it all in the last couple of days, just by putting it all into clearer thoughts. It is not the end yet, and who knows how we will all feel in the eternities when we can recall the relationships we had in our premortal lives. I can say that I am happy with my fabulous husband, and I am happy that she is happy.

I am struggling and I need some advice on how to move past this. My husband was engaged before me to a woman who broke it off with him. She said she prayed about it and it didn't feel right. He has never denied loving her, but acknowledged easily that it was a different love than what we share. Over the years we have been very happy and open about it and other relationships we have both had, even keeping contact as a couple with my past bfs and his past gfs. This past fiance ended up in a very rocky and abusive marriage and with much prayer and fasting decided to get a divorce. We prayed and fasted and knew it was right to let her and her kids come stay with us till she got things worked out. In fact, I was told specifically in answer to prayer that the relationship we had with this woman was righteous and of God and to help her out. I was also told in the temple that in the eternities this woman may be allowed to be sealed to my husband after all, if we all chose to do that. Talk about shock! I truly gained peace over the idea and loved this woman like a sister. Knowing that we had this eternal potential did not in any way mean we could be polygamous in this life. It has not been reinstated as a principle to live in this life. So we talked about precautions to take so no one did anything inappropriate that would jeopardize our standing in the church or hurt our relationships. We talked about physical boundaries and honesty repeatedly before she came to stay with us. We continued to pray and fast and make sure it was the right thing to do, considering the emotions involved and the things I had been told in the temple. I know beyond doubt that we were supposed to help her and let her live with us. Things were fabulous for a couple months while she found work, filed for divorce, moved her church records, got the kids enrolled in school, etc. We got to know each other more and I truly felt I had found my twin spirit sister. My husband struggled more than I did, trying to meet my needs, and help her emotionally without crossing any lines. Then my world crashed when she decided to go back to her husband. I grieved like she had died! I was confused about why I was told the things I had been told in the temple, I was confused about why I felt so close to her if she wasn't supposed to be part of our lives, I was confused about my husband being so eager for her to leave so he didn't have to feel torn. There are so many emotions that I have never felt before during her living with us and since that I know I would never have made it through without trusting the Lord. It is just not a common situation and one I was told was a very sacred one that should not be talked about with people lightly. Again, I know polygamy is not practiced in the church in this life. I know they needed to be VERY careful to not commit adultery because they were not married to each other, no matter what potential there might be in eternity. So here is the hairy part, as if that isn't already. I found out later from husband that things did get too involved while she was staying with us. He began to feel pressured by her to get MORE involved physically. Somehow she had convinced herself, or rather let Satan convince her, that it was ok. THAT is why my husband was so eager for her to leave and felt torn due to all our spiritual experiences and the trauma he felt by her continual demands to get more physical. He ended up talking to the bishop and a counselor for several months to help him deal with his feelings (which had triggered past sexual abuse issues) and make sure he was okay with the Lord. Similarly, the other woman got therapy individually and with her husband and says she is very happy now. She has worked things through with the Lord. I struggle with reconciling all the things I KNOW I was told from the Lord and why I was told them, just for things to work out this way. I struggle with feeling betrayed by my soul sister. I struggle with doubts about my husband being truly honest about his willingness to participate in the physical inappropriateness (after all, it is normal to want intimacy with people we love), even while I know he has worked it all out with the bishop and the Lord. He no longer will even talk to the other woman and is uncomfortable when I want to rehash some of it. I think I have forgiven them both. I love them both. I just don't know how to reconcile the intense spiritual revelations I had concerning us all with the aftermath. I do know that her marriage is better now that she is not so hung up on the what-ifs about being with my husband. She got her answers and realized it wasn't what she wanted after all. I know that my husband is righteous and in good standing with the Lord and we are still happily married, so why does this still haunt me sometimes? If you have insight or a comment, please don't tell me I was wrong to let her live with us or that the personal revelations I had were false. I don't doubt those were from the Lord in any way. I just am struggling with the whys... AMZ

Hello, I joined because I want an anonymous way to get some support from people who share my beliefs. I am hoping I am not the only one experiencing my personal struggles, but who knows. I will post in the appropriate forum and see what people have to say... AMZ