Over two years ago I attended BYU-Idaho where I first saw the most attractive person. I still remember looking back behind my desk to see her and as I turned around I thought to myself, "Oh. My. Gosh.". Over that semester we had a couple dates and I told her that I cared for her. Later that next year I left on my mission, but after only three months I was sent home due to a medical condition that was out of my control (and still have none to this day).
After trying to collect myself from the drama, I decided to attend a different institution in Utah. I felt as if BYU-I would mock me for being an early-released missionary. After winter, spring and summer rolled away I decided to head up to the University of Utah for the Fall. During this time I had an occasional chat with her. After much consideration through prayer I decided to go back up to BYU-I this Winter. She influenced me to come back up here.
The Problem: I feel that she is out of my reach. I am not to say I am a bad looking guy, in fact I usually get compliments on my appearance. She is offtrack this semester and will return next semester. I have feelings of anxiety that I cannot live up to her standards. Keeping the commandments and abiding by the laws of the gospel are not a problem. Grades are not an issue (3.85 gpa) but I still feel that I could never live up to her intellectual capacity.
When I text her about a problem she always asks, "What's wrong" and "How can i help?". I know that she is such a wonderful woman, but at the same time very mystifying. I get so anxious and nervous when I communicate with her - intimidation most likely. I feel that if I say the wrong thing or mess up on my grammar she may throw down the hammer on me, but at the same time she has that feeling of warmth and compassion. Confusion has got me down. I cannot wait to meet her, but I don't because of my tendencies to have that "blank white stare" where you cannot think of anything to say. It reminds of the song "Witchcraft" sung by Frank Sinatra. It is as if she is the only one that puts this spell on me, leaving me speechless. I have no problem speaking with other attractive females, but with her it is a different scenario.
What advice should be given on this relationship between the two of us?