[Counsel From the Bishop]

It's not just the sex. It's that in combination with the shortness of the relationship and their mismatched levels of spirituality.

Shortness of the relationship doesn't always relate directly to how things turn out. I have many friends as well as family that have been very happy, as many others that have posted here with marriages lasting 30+ years and still married. Not directly connected. As for spirituality levels, that's always going to be something people will have to work with as they have been led into the church in different situations; being a convert, born into the church, living in different family situations, etc. Opinions as well as beliefs even being mormon for many years have different aspects of things in the church even after being taught the same things. So ofcourse there will be different spirituality levels as well as understanding.

NewToBe, I would like to re-give my earlier advice from your earlier thread, before your latest development:

If anything, your latest post demonstrates a greater liklihood that you're heading into a horrible trainwreck. No really - break the engagement. This is a horrible idea. Wait at least one year.

I would actually prefer if you would stick to help answer the question I was really asking. I appreciate your opinion, but I would prefer if you kept it. Thanks

To be frank, I understand it's obvious that we wait the time. I am trying to understand how clergical help works w/ the repentance part. Even being on a mission doesn't necessarily give someone that understanding. We've come to terms with it as we are trying to do things right and are looking seriously and with true intent trying to make sure it doesn't happen again. We are going through the repentance part right now and both agreed in the end that it was important to follow the counsel.

Thanks for your responses, but I think alot of you didn't even answer the sought question.

[Counsel From the Bishop]

Well, briefly as a summary, I have recently been engaged to the love of my life and someone I really cherish. She has an amazing personality, great goals, etc. I knew her before my mission, etc.

Recently though after being engaged, we've been hanging out together quite often which is to be expected. We ended up slipping up and having oral sex while staying out too late at night.

We went to the bishop that I personally know as a great man and has helped me alot, given me counsel with future goals, etc. Great family friend. We talked with him and as a result, we would have to move the date of the marriage back 3 months since our goal was to enter the temple and do so.

The current situation is with my fiance. She does feel that the counsel and time for the actual delay was too extreme. She had know that her sister had done things farther than that and still had simply a month added.

I understand that certain counsel is for certain people and that it can be by the Spirit as well as by the standard protocol. I have spent alot of time trying to let her know that the man is trying to go by the Spirit as well and follow how he feels inside.

How can I better help my fiance know that the counsel he had given to us was for us? or was the counsel too much?

Thanks!

[How To Nicely Deal With Nosy Family Members]

I thought you said you've only known her for a year... did you mean to say that you've known her for a year before you left for your mission?

Yes. A year before my mission. We were in Singles Ward together and met there.

[How To Nicely Deal With Nosy Family Members]

My wife and I dated 3 weeks before we got engaged, Her family gave her a hard time too. Can it work? yes, we are proof, but both need to be committed to the marriage in good times or bad. If you are committed to each other and to the Gospel, it can work.

My questions are: how long before the wedding? I hope its at least 6 months out so you can spend more time together.

Can you support a family: do you have an education ? are you making enough $ that you won't need any help from either family. (if not then my advice is to wait until you are to get married)

We were hoping in a couple of months as for the date. We're both going to be going to school, both have jobs, and have decided to wait on kids until we can better support them. We also have gone and compared costs vs income.

[How To Nicely Deal With Nosy Family Members]

Just to verify a few things:

-She isn't someone I met on my mission.

-We were friends before my mission.

-It isn't any of her siblings/family members that are being 'nosy'. Everyone from her side is excited.

Thanks for everything that everyone said. I understand it does appear quick, but we both have had multiple talks about it. We are very active in the church and want to remain that way, raise a strong family in the church, and marry in the temple.

And as for things about finding other things about eachother, there are somethings that we won't know until we are married. We have been extremely blunt about past histories/mess-ups, hopefully making sure that everything that we can recall is out on the table.

[How To Nicely Deal With Nosy Family Members]

Hello! Just had a question to ask:

This week, I just asked someone I really care about to marry me. We've know eachother for about a year, met in our stake's singles ward, etc. Both of us are extremely excited. I just came back off my mission not too long ago (3 months).

We have been very thourough on asking questions (257 questions to ask before being married) and want it to be a temple marriage. Both of us have been in dating relationships where it has been just out of infatuation, and both felt the Spirit to even talk about such a thing as marriage on one of our dates. We've both prayed about it and have gotten the same answer. Also have cleared our 'skeletons'.

The thing is, what would be the proper way to deal with family members that don't approve such as siblings?

The reason why is we've only been dating for less than a month. Any suggestions?