Sjames

@vort-- I purposefully do not comment on elections, just because most all of my family holds polar opposite views as me! Actually, I stepped in it when I was describing how my alma mater expelled a student for being transgendered. I said I was disappointed in them and that was all it took! My problem with wanting to give the children gifts even tho I've been forbidden (blech!) is that I ALWAYS gave gifts. I just don't want the kids to feel unloved or that there anything different in our relationship (although there SO clearly is, mainly I haven't seen then in over a year ).

Thank you. I guess I am just especially nervous because this is the first time that she'll be "forced" to be near me. They've avoided everyone in my family since; it's really just so weird. I sent a letter shortly after everything happened, and she replied with horrible things again. She said no gifts or cards would ever be accepted for me, and on and on. I know that attempting to repair a relationship that the other party cares so little for is pointless, but I guess it's just me. I'm not the person that can just forget. I do feel like I've forgiven, but everything still stings (as much as I don't want it to!). And even though she is so mean, I don't want her to be uncomfortable. She has very young children also and they've kept them away. I think if she's angry or upset, the children will feel it and that's not fair. :/ Do you think it's appropriate to give the kids Christmas and birthday presents? I wasn't "allowed" to be there and have have their presents ready.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting... Maybe just a place to write out the craziness? Anyway, this is bound to be long. It's incredibly emotional for me and I'm having a hard time with it. I had a "falling out," if you will, with my brother and his wife. I was very close with them. I love their children and we spent time together almost every week. Last year, we had a disagreement about politics (of all ridiculous things). My sil began attacking me personally and said the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me. I begged her to stop and just drop it and she proceeded to harass me through text, phone and email for 3 days before I got my brother involved and asked him to please have her just stop. He told me I should be ashamed of my life (I'm much more liberal than they are). I was shocked and hurt, but through this whole thing never said anything back. This was 2 weeks before thanksgiving. I sent him a text that everyone would be coming to my new house and gave him the address (we had just moved during all of this). He never responded and never showed up. He had a baby in the last year and never called or wrote, but did text my husband, whom he works with, to congratulate him on our new son (although he still has never contacted or replied to me). It's been weird and horrible and I've had such terrible anxiety over the whole thing. I can't understand why his wife went so crazy on me nor why it was so easy for them to just completely cut me out. I wonder if it had to do with her postpartum depression, but it was just so out of nowhere and SO extreme a reaction. I'm a very quiet and reserved person. I love my family more than anything and although it is going to make me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious, my grandma has asked that everyone get together at her house for Christmas this year and I would like to respect her wishes. Just the thought of being in the same room with someone who hates me so passionately is giving me panic attacks. I miss my nieces and nephew, but I have no idea how I should react. Should I pretend that everything is great? Should I engage them in anyway? I also have a new baby and a toddler and it's making me nervous that they will see me so uncomfortable. What would you do? I honestly just don't know how to deal. I feel like if I have a plan of what attitude to try and have, I'll cope better.