I don't know if I'm looking for advice, or I just need to vent or what. I've been lurking for awhile, and decided I would finally post something, although I may sound pathetic.
Here's the situation.
I'm home from school right now, for a short six weeks. I've been home for two so I've got about a month before I head back up there. I've come home for summers before, and it's been alright. I like being around my family, I've liked the YSA scene, etc.
The problem is that this time, I feel so uncomfortable. I feel like I don't belong anywhere at all. I don't feel like I fit in or belong in the Singles ward, I don't feel like I belong in my family ward, I just feel so out of place. It has been very uncomfortable for me and I have felt very lost. I'm close to 22, the majority of the YSA members are 18-19, premissionaries, and even if there are any my age, a ton of people that I don't know have moved in. That's not a huge difference, but it is at this age. I'm not good at making new friends, and even if I have one there, I still feel so out of place. I can't even describe it. It's gotten to the point where I no longer want to go to church, but I go because I know I need to. I have a hard time listening because of the discomfort I feel. I feel like there is something wrong with me because I'm starting my senior year of college single, and it seems that most girls get married very soon after they start school. I feel like the people in my branch think there's something wrong with me because I'm not married yet. While I would like to get married someday, I hate the feeling that I've always had from leaders pressuring us.
Agh. It's gotten to the point where I'm just venting.
I'll be done now.
I'm up for any advice, but if nothing else, I've gotten these feelings out. Thanks for listening folks.
